La Mejor Vida

My First 5k.

2011-10-15T20:16:00.003-04:00

I said I'd never run.

I'm not a "runner." Well, unless someone is chasing me. (that was always my joke).

Then I saw this program called Couch to 5k. (C25k). And people I knew were having success with it. The premise is to take you from sitting on the couch to running 3.1 miles in 8 weeks. Honestly, I was terrible about sticking to the schedule. I do remember running one of the days, in the beginning, that I was supposed to run for three minutes straight and thinking, "what am I doing?" Ha!

So I kept trying. And because my first 5k was coming soon, I only had six weeks to train. But I stuck it out and did it, running my first 3 miles two days before the race day.

My sister, Mishka, was originally supposed to run it with me (she does half marathons so this was more of a show of support for me) but her back went out the week of the race. So sadly, she wasn't able to make it. But she was still a big support for me.

So I set out to race.. but I figured it would be better to have a before picture (instead of an after).

Up until today, my best time was 10:51 minutes per mile.

My goal was to finish the race (3.1mi) in under 35 minutes.

But I was able to beat my record and ended with 3.33mi in 31:58. That is an average of 9:48 a mile!!

I am so excited! And now I hope to run another 5k while I train for an 8k or a 10k.

(Special thanks to my biggest supporter my hubby, Jorge. He was always quick to encourage me not to give up and to do whatever needed to be done so that I was free to go run/train. I love you babe. THANK YOU).

My "Mental Health Day."

2011-10-14T16:17:00.005-04:00

A while back I posted about mommy's needing to take breaks, and that you shouldn't feel guilty for doing so. It's for your mental (and emotional) health. Thus, a "Mental Health Day." Granted, not every time looks the same. I may only have an hour to work with.. or as in the case today, three.

So that meant I had time to include two of my favs:

Step One: A pedicure. My first time with a darker color, for fall.

Step Two: Lunch at Taziki's. Yummmmm!

What was funny about step two was what I did before it. I got done with the Pedicure about 30 minutes before Taziki's opens (11 a.m) so I had some time to kill. I decided to park my car in the parking lot and walk over to a neighboring store and peruse the "stuff" but then I caught a glimpse of my UNIBROW in the mirror (I swear it seemed like it had grown to this)..So I decided to pluck my eyebrows instead.

So there I was, in my van (ALONE.. ahhhhh) with the windows down (beautiful sunny, breezy day) with Jack Johnson playing and plucking my eyebrows. I was just sure that somewhere someone was going to have a Facebook status update: "there is a weird lady sitting in her car plucking her eyebrows..music blaring. Seriously?"

But to me.. it was heavenly.

After lunch, I went to pick up the kids and headed back for naptime. Which is Step three for a MHD.

I had a lot of fun and I look forward to the next Mental Health day!!

What do you do for MHD? Or what would you want to do?

already Five.

2011-10-06T13:53:00.003-04:00

So my handsome blue eyed boy turned 5 last week.

He had a fun time at his Captain America party.

Im sure he wished for many more years with his awesome family.

before that familys' traditions made him rethink his wish..

I love you Alex. And all your goofyness. Thank you for being such an amazing son. That makes us laugh. A lot.

(wonder when the "dressing myself" skills will kick in). ;-P

The little house.. in Pelham.

2011-09-30T16:47:00.007-04:00

Six months ago my husband said something to me that made my skin crawl.

"Why don't we take the money that is set aside for a buying a bigger house and put it on this mortgage. Then we can pay off this house super fast."

You see, at that exact moment I was feeling very cramped. Four small children, two adults and two fish all "cozy" in a 1300 sq. ft. house. (They say 1300, but I think it's more like 1000-1100). There are apartments bigger than our house. And I was feeling it. I was NOT saying I didn't like our house. This house is so much more than what either I or my husband grew up with. And our kids have never complained.

It was just that we actually had money to put toward a bigger house. So I cried my lament and my loving man (also wanting more space) agreed to put the house on the market, again. We had already tried to sell it for almost a year before that point. No luck. But we decided to put it back on the market.

Would you know that within two months, FOUR houses on our street also listed. Totaling TEN houses for sale on our street. TEN. Also, several were foreclosures less than $80k. So you get the idea, in this market, to be remotely competitive we would have to lower our price to the same price it was purchased at 10 years ago losing all the money we put into it. In the meantime, every house that we showed interest in would get an offer as soon as we thought we'd put an offer on it. This happened three times.

So, then this strange thing started to happen. As I am pondering the fact that our house may not sell I am seeing that it may not be "that bad" to stay where we are. Then God started to lead my thoughts to "what would life look like if we paid off this house?"

And for a week I wrestled with: the legitimate desire for more space and the legitimate freedom that would come from being completely debt free. Sure, we are debt free from "bad debt" but a mortgage payment is "acceptable debt." Even Dave Ramsey says so. But I just couldn't get it out of my head, all the possibilities that would open up if we delayed our dream home for about 5 years, to gain the ultimate dream: Financial FREEDOM!!

It took a single day of wrestling and in that same day I texted my hubby and said, "Lets do it. lets stay." That meant taking the house off the market, which we did and then making "the plan." Which involves taking our savings, putting it on our mortgage and then paying off the balance, which we believe we can do in two years by doubling our monthly mtg payment (which we are already doing). TWO YEARS. Then continue to stay in the house for at least three, to build up cash for the next house. Then sell this one and with the savings, buy a bigger house: with CASH. (but I know, I am fully ready for God to lead us to something else, something different, as in another change of plan.. I just want to be ready).

In the meantime, being able to give like never before and to be able to see dreams realized.

And part of this process, trying to see the bigger picture and delaying a dream (not the death of one).. all of the sudden my house seems so much sweeter to me than it did before. Suddenly, I am beyond thankful for this small space and all that it is allowing us to do. I am so thankful that, while it wasn't a wrong vs. right decision, God gave wisdom and I think, divine intervention: hello 10 houses for sale on our street, pitiful market. etc., to allow for us to make an amazing decision that we obviously didn't choose at first.

so that's it. We are staying. And we couldn't be more excited.

the fisheye lens makes it look bigger..but I am so thankful for this space..

We've always LOVED our back yard.

Sweet.. or is it??

2011-09-02T20:19:00.003-04:00

Take a look at this precious picture..

Two brothers, embracing each other. Connected by the bonds of brotherhood. Awww.. everyone say "Awwwww.."

Wait, what is Jorge whispering into Alex's ear?

A plot to attack the boys who won't play with them on the playground?

"You take the front, I'll take the back?"

Well, a momma can still be proud of the unity of at least these two, right??

after a "bad" homeschooling day

2011-09-01T16:30:00.006-04:00

(I finally wrote this down..to keep my sanity. I know I am opening myself up to attack for posting this.. but oh well).

WHY AM I DOING THIS?

Face it Rachel:

· There are better teachers out there than you.

· School isn’t evil.

· Your children would “survive.”

· Life would be “easier.”

You obviously aren’t hs’ing for academic reasons. You aren’t hs’ing because you think that this is a quicker way to sanctify yourself.

It’s also apparent that hs’ing isn’t:

· Easy.

· A quick return.

· Convenient.

· Fun (most of the time).

· What allows for the most free time.

· For everyone.

· Law (as in, “you are more spiritually pleasing” to the Father if you hs).

So, here is what HS’ing is (perceived negatives):

· Difficult

· Frustrating.

· Emotionally taxing.

· Physically draining.

· A slow process.

· Inconvenient (at times).

· Demanding of your time, energy, and brain space.

But Rachel, it is a CHOICE.

So why in the world, knowing all of the above, are you choosing to do this?

I want to do home education because:

1. I get to follow my kid’s learning pace.

Yes, Rachel. Your child will hit a wall. He will forget what he’s learned and you will have to back track. But hs’ing allows for you to catch on when this happens and then give him/her the attention they need. You can stop the class and say.. “Lets scratch that and move on to this” or “hey, lets go back a few lessons and review.” This is NORMAL. And being able to work the lessons around where he is will build confidence and the truth is: HE/SHE WILL get it soon enough. Part of hs’ing is not defining what grade your kid is in bc, quite honestly, while he may be 1^st grade math he could still be kindergarten with reading. That is NORMAL. And will likely be like that his entire education years (ahead/current with some subjects and “behind” in others). And imagine the confidence he/she will have knowing that that is Okay.

2. He/She avoids playground politics.

One of the main reasons why you want to educate at home is because you want for your kids to not have to deal with “the reality of the real world” as a young kid. You want to allow them to be free to play and learn instead of worried about Johnny on the playground pressuring them, or berating them. You are not naïve in this effort, knowing that, YES the world is brutal, but you want to build your arrows strong before you send them into that battle.

3. You are able to work on the heart issues that come up everyday.

This used to be pie in the sky for you, but now it makes sense. Remember Jorge being the bully. In school, this would be up to the teacher to work on, until he got home and then you would only have a few hours to help him. But at home all day, he is with you and with his siblings and you are able to see it first hand and deal with it every time it comes up. And you are able to have those heart to heart conversations leading him to the Gospel of Christ and His desires for his little life. That is so worth every ounce of frustration over phonics. But also having them home all day means that you see their sin (all day long) and not just one kid.. but four. It is very draining, emotionally, to have to deal with this.. but you know it is close to your heart. And that drives you to pray for wisdom and remember that THIS is a benefit of hs’ing: you have all day to pray with them and talk with them about the very things they struggle with.

4. So much flexibility with the daily routine.

Rachel your heart longs to cherish this time while they are young. To be able to go to the park, have fun, snuggle at naps and just be around each other.. while that season exists.

With this said, you need to remember a few things, Rachel:

· There will be GREAT days. Progress is evident. Life seems perfect.

· There will be “BAD” days. They will regress. Life will seem bleak. And you will question, “Why am I doing this?” Remember: THIS IS A CHOICE. Your risks/benefits analysis says that you can handle the frustrations in light of the benefits for your family and for your children.

· You believe that the perceived negatives are really things that God can use to glorify himself (remember the day of spiritual warfare that turned into a wonderful sharing opportunity with the kids?).

· Your kids, at times, will have to back track. This is GREAT. It means you are listening to their needs.

· The younger kids will still “distract you” from school. But this is for their good too. Because they are learning as well. Not only from the discipline, but from what the older ones are learning (remember the catechisms).

· While you may not be the “best” teacher out there, you know your children the best. And you can be a great tool of encouragement in their lives.

· Daily struggle with patience or even desire to hs is an opportunity to go back to this list. But also to bring it to God. Ask Him if this is what’s best. And at any point, he could say “no.” There is grace to make a different choice. And there is also GRACE to keep the current one.

· Just like marriage, hs’ing is not a fairytale. At times it is painful, gut wrenching, crying, full of emotional roller coasters, fights, repenting of wrong, loving in spite of sin and a HUGE opportunity to receive grace as well as give it. It is not always the happy facebook updates/pictures. Those are the good days. Not everyone posts pictures of the crappy days. But that is not reality. Remember: it’s difficult to do home education. But good comes from both types of days.

· - You are not motivated by boot strap mentalities or thinking “Just push through” or even spiritual sounding mentalities, “this is for our good,” etc. What motivates you is this truth: You are a beloved daughter of the king regardless of where your child goes to school. Your desire to hs your kids doesn’t improve your standing with God (that is already sealed). What encourages you is to know that God is using even those depressing days with no progress and complete meltdown for His glory. Yes, that’s the same answer as “this is for our good” but if feels less preachy in the context of “he loves you regardless of what you decide to do.”

· It all goes back to YOUR list. Not someone else’s.

The many faces of Isaac..

2011-08-24T14:00:00.004-04:00

I've upgraded phones, to an android. It is wonderful to be able to take pictures of my kids. In the process, i am able to capture some of the many funny antics of my, now, 15 month old.

Hot and sweaty..

D.O.N.E with lunch at California Pizza Kitchen...

Worn out after the McWane Center..

Exasperated after playing with his older siblings.. (aka confused).

Silly happy..

"I want my food now, Mommy" fit..

"thank you for my food, mommy" face..

I love that angel.

I gladly give up my legalism..

2011-08-15T11:39:00.009-04:00

I 've talked before about some of what God has done in my life in the past year. The path has been difficult and not without a lot of falls along the way. And not only has God done a lot of work in my relationships with those in my world, He has also had to do a lot of uprooting in my heart as it relates to Him. And my relationship with Him.

1. I used to think that if I "did" for God, that would make Him smile (at me).

2. I used to think that if I can "get" God to "smile" at me, THEN I am in fellowship with Him.

3. I used to think that I should spend time "in the Word" everyday or else I run the risk of disappointing God.

4. A lot of times I would devour the Word in an effort to know how to respond to someone who was "in the wrong."

5. I used to pride myself on being so "black and white" about everything.

6. I used to think I had a vat of wisdom and therefore was a great resource for friends struggling with sin.

7. I most always had a "to do" list I'd offer to anyone that came to me saying they weren't feeling that close to God.

8. I had a lot of standards I placed on everyone, even though I wrapped them nicely in "convictions that could be backed up with Scripture."

I wish I could say there were only 8 points. Lots more. But I think you get the picture. All of this is why I say I am a recovering "legalist." While I had no problem identifying God's mercy in my life, I had no idea of His grace. I mean, yes, Grace in salvation: but grace beyond that? Not a clue. I had no idea of his affections toward me, and how silly it was to actually think there was anything I could do to secure them. So let me share a little bit of what God has taught me.

1. I used to think that if I "did" for God, that would make Him smile (at me). Let me say that my motivation was the problem. I was motivated by the wrong thing. For some reason, I thought that I could woo the Lord. When the truth is that I am his beloved at.all.times. I am a beloved daughter of a king and that position and affection stands regardless of what I do or don't do.

2. I used to think that if I can "get" God to "smile" at me, THEN I am in fellowship with Him. My fellowship with the Lord has nothing to do with "getting" God to be happy with me. Because of the response of #1, the only time I am not in fellowship with God is my own issue. If there is unconfessed sin, well that can keep me from fellowship, but only in as much as I am in the circle of "guilt --> shame --> isolation." But that isn't the Lord doing that cycle. It's me. I am the one choosing to live in that cycle. But once I can confess that sin.. the cycle can be broken, If I accept that I am forgiven. But the affection of my Father never changed. Not through any part of that process.

3. I used to think that I should spend time "in the Word" everyday or else I run the risk of disappointing God. While drawing near to God involves hearing Him, it is not out of guilt or shame that allows that intimacy to flourish. I would see other moms (the comparing dance again) who seems to be as busy as me constantly reminding me that "if you do nothing else, get in the Word." Well the reality was, that my kids are my alarm clock in this season of life and they hit the ground running all.day.long. And then by the time night time hits, my head hits the pillows like a brick before the lights are out. Granted, not every day is like that, but it feels like it. But again, the motivation was way off. God does not have a secret quota for me to meet when it comes to "time in His Word." Let me remind you of John 1:1- He is the Word. Intimacy with him isn't measured in how long I sit reading the Bible. I can hear a praise song (full of scripture, BTW) or call out a prayer while standing at the sink loading the dishwasher, and be in closer intimacy with my Father with my heart fully His then three hours with my Bible open and distracted the entire time. My point is this: God's heart is for us to draw near to Him. Tell Him whats in our hearts. Ask to know His. Wait for His answer and listen to where you know He is leading. That creates intimacy. So many times I used to tell people: "well building intimacy with God is a lot like building intimacy with your husband. You spend time with each other. You block off time with each other. That is what God wants." Well lets follow that through. Have you ever hired a babysitter, made the plans and had a big fight before your date night out? Then go ahead with the date because you've already set it up. Sat right next to each other for three hours but felt worlds apart? Why? Why isn't time "with them" making a difference? The same is true if you think the only answer to an intimacy problem with God involves "doing" the disciplines of the Christian faith. The truth is: intimacy involves drawing near to God. Telling Him whats in our hearts. Asking to know His. Waiting for His answer and listening to where you know He is leading.

4. A lot of times I would devour the Word in an effort to know how to respond to someone who was "in the wrong." After years of doing this, and then the breaking point and then on to legalistic "recovery" I had a season of dreading going near the Word. Not because I didn't believe its power, or because of anything lacking in it. But rather, because of my own heart. I had to beg God for a fresh perspective on His Word. Not that there isn't a place for apologetics. But sadly, in my little world, everything had become apologetics. I had taken up a burden that wasn't my own: change everyone around me. You see, that is born out of a need for control. And a huge inability to trust the heart of the Father in the lives of his own children. Did I believe it was enough to pray for someone that I saw "struggling?" No. I needed to confront. Or worse, lecture them when they came to me for a listening ear. My point is twofold: I am not the Holy Spirit for others. They have their own. And my time in the God's Word should not be about proving someone wrong. I can encourage someone to reconciliation with God, without the motivation of "proving them wrong."

5. I used to pride myself on being so "black and white" about everything. Again, to go with #4, the need to have all the answers. I felt I did. How prideful. I also failed to see my own sins. Or my own shortcomings in the way I loved those around me. How I knew so little about Grace.

6. I used to think I had a vat of wisdom and therefore was a great resource for friends struggling with sin. I think this is becoming self explanatory. You see the pattern of thinking, right? I was the older brother in the story of the prodigal. I did not understand why God would throw a party of my younger brother, lost and returned again, when I never left. But as my good friend Melody points out, notice it never said that the older brother entered the feast with his brother and Father? We won't know if he actually did until we can ask God face to face.. but imagine the symbolism in that. So caught up in my own "doing" "being" "right living" that I can't even enjoy the grace extended to another. Mainly because of my own resistance and not accepting that grace in my life.

7. I most always had a "to do" list I'd offer to anyone that came to me saying they weren't feeling that close to God. Refer to #4 for this one, too. The burden that comes from having to follow a list to get close to God. Let me give you an example of this (but it was in my recovery..so I have the right answer this time). I was visiting a friend. She was beaten down, burdened and not feeling beloved at the moment. Why? Because she had not been "spending time with God" and she felt she was doing nothing good for her family. There was so much to do in a day and not only did she not finish it all, that just made her want to sit on the couch even more (sound a lot like hopelessness?). After talking to one friend that told her, "Listen, you just need to get off the couch and do it. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and just do what you can and move on." (because this used to be my mantra advice, I understood it's core- BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION). It can also be worded in spiritual terms: "Just be thankful. You only have this time for a season. God wants you to rejoice." ((cringe)). After she told me the advice she had been given, I looked right in her eyes and said, "Amy (name change) God adores you. Right where you sit. You are a beloved daughter of the king. There is nothing you could do to make Him love you more and nothing you could not do to make Him love you less. Amy, His affections toward you-at this very moment- are strong. Unending. And faithful. His passionate pursuit of you is constant and there is nothing but a pure record before you. RIGHT NOW... EVEN as you sit on the couch in your despair... He loves you, Amy. YOU." Now as tears entered Amy's eyes, what do you suppose she was feeling? Maybe a little hope. NOTHING motivates getting out a pit like RESTING in the LOVE of the Father. NOT your bootstraps peptalk. NOPE.. that brings "guilt -->shame--> isolation." Ah, but Grace. That feels different. That is motivation, but not for motivations sake. For a change of heart. NOT behavior modification. HUGE difference.

8. I had a lot of standards I placed on everyone, even though I wrapped them nicely in "convictions that could be backed up with Scripture." Once again, using Scripture to change others. Rather than to keep the focus on me. It is very hard to keep the focus on ourselves isn't it? I think that is a great tool used by our enemy. If he can keep us all busy trying to do the work that can only be done by the Father, then that is a great distraction from our own sanctification.

Let me sum this up for those that are actually still reading this insanely long post. A sermon I heard yesterday made so much sense to me. He gave a great illustration: imagine God holding onto your wrist. You can either have your hand grasping his or have let it go. Either way, God has his grip tight on you. Not letting you go. And then He will give a gentle squeeze and remind you that you have let go.. thus allowing you to grab tight again. I love that illustration. Here is the point: God never lets go. His affections remain constant. And those of you still uncomfortable that you have nothing to do at all to earn those affections will send me emails and messages about all the Scripture that says we are to live a certain way. And in that moment I can only ask, "what do you think the heart of the Father is toward you if you didn't "do" your list today?" And nothing draws me closer, gives me the longing to sit at the feet of my Father in His presence (Word or prayer) like understanding my position and His affection.

Thanks for reading. I hope it encourages you.

Why the teacher is always learning too..

2011-08-11T15:27:00.006-04:00

I'll tell ya, this homeschooling thing isn't as bad as I thought it was (last year).

Yes, I gave up on K5 last year. I hated to admit it. But I did. And now, I am so thrilled that I did. I had a newborn, a family crisis and too much invested in what my peers where doing.

Granted, all the HS'ing veterans tried to warn me: "don't become a slave to the curriculum," or "don't beat yourself up about having to do it a certain way," and my favorite one to ignore, "You don't have to go out and buy all the fancy curriculum to teach them what they need to know. It's kindergarten."

Well I totally failed. I went and bought the fancy curriculum and tried to put so much on my poor child that it burnt us both out. It wasn't fun. It wasn't sinking in for him and on top of that I had to put Eva in MDO because I couldn't even focus through one session.

So fast forward to today. I have all the kids at home and am able to successfully get through a 1st grade school day (which lasts about an hour for Reading, Bible and Math). And I feel much better about it and actually LOVE it and so does Jorge. We are into week two and he is still waking up in the mornings saying, "Mommy, we are going to do school today, right?"

(he has also said while doing math, "mommy can you get a pillow for my head, this is making me tired.").

So what changed in a year?

1. I no longer put stock in what my peers are doing. If you got something that you love, I'd love to hear about how great it's working for you. But if you sell it to me as, "your kid has got to get this _________ (curriculum, concept, etc)" I immediately tune you out. I am all too easily swayed to peer pressure. And not the kind that involves drugs. But the comparison dance. The one where I go back and forth in my head about all the ways someone else is doing it better than me. Well I hate that dance, and I no longer buy the music. I try to recognize the song when it comes on and turn it off. This has helped me so much in paying attention to: the learning style of the kid I'm teaching, what he/she likes to do, and their own rate of learning. If we spend a week on one Bob book and two days on the next.. that is JOY to my heart and I'm not worried that your kid just read the entire set in one sitting. Hello, Freedom! Goodbye, Pressure.

2. I am honing in on the art of distraction. Homeschooling is the easy part. It's the younger siblings that can make a momma loose her ever.loving.mind. So I have to spend equal time figuring out how to get the younger three occupied (if they are deciding they don't want to do school with me and Jorge) with something entertaining or fun for them. So far Eva and Alex want to "do school" which includes a modified version of whatever we are doing, whilst they are coloring or playing with counting cubes. And Isaac, he either wanders around destroying the house or in his pack n play contained with toys. For me, I had to realize that it takes creativity to include the younger ones or even to keep them busy. And some days this works better than others.

3. I've learned the difference between routine and schedule. I LOVE a good routine. A schedule, is of the devil. (I jest, sort of). There can be so much more grace with a routine. And flexibility too. It also frees us up to do fun things. I used to be a stickler for the clock. Now I can tell what time it is by what we are doing.. and not stressed that it's 30 minutes later than when we did it the day before. My kids get dressed on their own after breakfast, because that's the routine. but there isn't a mandatory time that that is supposed to happen by.

4. I stop when the fun stops. This is huge for me. Obviously, in learning there are times where it isn't our favorite thing to do, so we persevere. But when mommy starts getting frustrated that little Jorge's 3's look like a number of evil (I don't know what that means exactly) we take a break. Mommy needs to move on. Mommy needs to remember that little Jorge is just now learning this stuff and he won't go to college writing his 3's like an alien. "Mommy move on." That's what I keep saying in my head.

I tell ya.. the growth has to happen in me. I hear people say all the time, "I could never teach my kids." And I won't pretend I don't know what you are talking about. It is definitely hard work. The patience that has to come is painstaking. But the joy I get when I see the hard work pay off, it's unreal. It's not all, bake days and fun outside. It's hard. It's long hours and lots of worrying, "will they ever write their 3's so we can recognize it?" And the answer is yes. And the process of what I am learning is just as priceless as seeing them persevere too.

I'm looking forward to growing more and more each year and becoming a better teacher than I was the year before.

The Absentminded Professor, but without the Professor.

2011-08-04T10:09:00.004-04:00

So, I guess that just makes me "absentminded."

I tell ya, sometimes I truly don't get it. How is it that I was once a very bright, intelligent person?

Now, my brain is mush.

Yesterday, while on the phone, I was exiting my car and about to walk into the grocery store. I realized that my keyless entry alarm was not locking the van doors. I turned around to notice that my door (not the kids') was wide open. As in, I walked out of my drivers seat and left the door wide open. Good grief.

this is me back in the day.. when I had a brain.

Alright already.

2011-08-03T15:59:00.003-04:00

I am sorry.. life is crazy and I have no time to blog about it.

We started school this week (1st grade with Jorge, K5 with Alex) and the younger two are making that a little difficult to do.

I did have a great time in Boston (thanks for asking)

and I still hope to put up the rest of my conference notes on my birth blog.

Well, I promise as soon as I come up for air I will let you know how crazy it's been. (but with 9 clients from now until January.. don't hold yer breath!).

North Bound!

2011-07-18T17:22:00.001-04:00

So Im heading to Boston tomorrow morning.. 6 a.m flight (ouch). I know that I will definitely be updating my birth blog (since this is a doula related adventure).. So if you don't catch me here.. you can get updates (all things birth related) there.

Can you remind me again..

2011-07-14T16:25:00.004-04:00

Can you remind me again that the kids aren't out to get me?

WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING:

If you are a person who:

a) lives in a bubble and your kids are little drops of sunshine all day long, everyday or..

b) does not talk about the times in motherhood where you really start to question why you opted for children at all and you certainly wouldn't like to talk about that publicly..

This post WILL OFFEND you.

(Just thought you should be prepared).

Lets' start with this:

That's Eva, my 2 year old, in a cast.

Sunday (as in 5 days ago), while at a church we were visiting, she got her finger shut in the nursery door. It was a freak accident (Eva was behind the worker who was letting out another girl to her mommy). GROSS ALERT: We had to rush to the ER. I saw flesh.. and lots of blood. Eva was hysterical. Mommy was trying not to be. They had to remove her fingernail AND she got 8 stitches (thus the amount of blood I freaked about). She was a trooper. She watched the surgeon as he stitched her up and didn't even cry when they gave her the local block (shot) to numb up her hand. She was super strong. That night she did wake up every four hours for pain medication but by Tuesday, she didn't need anything.

On Tuesday we went back to Children's to get the cast put on so that the wound could heal. It looked nasty, even all stitched up. But that's just mommy. Daddy said they did a good job. He should know.

So fast forward to today, Thursday. After a few days of Alabama heat, where it's too hot to be outside longer than 15 minutes without some kind of water activity.. things in my house are starting to get crazy. And we can't do water because Eva's cast can't get wet.

Then it just started going downhill.

-I went to pick up two towels on the floor in my living room only to realize that Alex brought his cup of milk over from breakfast (I have NO idea why, never done that before) and set it under the towels. So of course the milk spilled. Thankfully towels were handy.

-Eva had a near miss on a HUGE glass of water spilling over her cast, which I was warned not to let get wet... they put the fear of God in me. Apparently my daughter has a Gremlin cast and one drop will suck her arm into a wormhole and we won't ever be able to get it out. Never mind that they make waterproof casts. But I'm seeing that a lot of doctors don't like to let you in on all the options available for your treatment plan, they only suggest the option that's easiest for them.. because you are their last patient of the day and they just want to get home. Never mind that you just spent two hours waiting in a small little room waiting for them.

-I send the kids outside to play for that 15 minutes allowable by the heat index and then Eva comes in crying with blood because she put her ONE GOOD HAND inside the fan. Yes. IN the fan. Thankfully it was only a small flesh wound. No stitches necessary.

-Mommy needs a Valium at this point.

-The boys are fighting. Normal, but at this point, I'm done.

I decide to get out of the house and give them a new view and head to visit my SIL and her new baby. I thought it would be nice for the kids to play and I can fold some laundry for my SIL while she sits and cuddles her baby.

-After 15 minutes of being there I hear Jorge "MOMMMY, you need to come here quick!" I walk in to the playroom to see Eva sitting on her cousins (Kevin, 3) potty. No biggie, right? Well, except that she has taken off her underwear and shorts, which have poop in them and all over them, poop on her shoes, poop on the carpet, poop (in the shape of a toddler rear) on the red elmo chair, poop on her leg, and so much poop on her foot I think she actually stepped in the poop.

-I have to spend 30 minutes bathing my daughter and, what seems, most of the belongings in my SIL's house.

- Oh, and how do you get poop off of a cast you aren't supposed to get wet?

-I decide that it's probably best if we just head back home. As soon I get in the driveway, Eva falls down and gashes her knee.

I promise I'm not kidding.

I know my kids aren't out to get me. None of this was done to me. But I can assure you the thought has crossed my mind: "Now, tell me again why I wanted to do this?" oh and: "can we fast forward three years?" (and don't tell me I will want that time back. I get that. But it's hard while I'm in it).

Someone said we may need a padded room for Eva. I think I am the one that needs that room.

I'm hoping that tomorrow. . will be much better. IF I can make it through tonight.

from photo to paint...

2011-07-14T07:31:00.002-04:00

My very talented friend, Teresa, did something pretty cool. And I just want to brag on her. Because she is cool like that.

I took this picture while out on a Girls Night Out (said friend was there too). Granted I don't know any of the people in it.. but I just loved the colors and the string lights (that was my favorite).

When Teresa saw the picture I posted (on facebook) she, in all her talent, painted it.

I just think that is so amazing. I love her own take on it (she didn't want random people in it, hehe) and of course I love the string lights!

Great Job Teresa! She is also a professional photographer and you can check out her great stuff here.

Inspiration is back..

2011-07-08T16:06:00.006-04:00

turns out that a photographer (or a novice, in my case) can gain tons of inspiration when given a new lens to try out..

so here I have a new love.. bokeh.

stunning.. (in my humble opinion). Nevermind that she put on her little brother's pj's.

I love that the subject "pops" out in front of that blurred backgroud (bokeh). It's gorgeous. (adorable nephew here).

my goofy son and his pal, cousin Asher.

Livia (niece) enjoying the zip line.

handsome Levi (nephew).

and then the lens captures the yumminess of the Pineapple-mango salsa my sister made..

and the delicious pasta I made..

and also the baby.. who was upset his daddy put him down..

all in all.. Im pretty sure I won't be using my other lens for a long time..

but she said it's okay. She likes it.

Motherhood: it's all about survival.

2011-07-06T11:16:00.008-04:00

Sure, motherhood is about making a difference in lives. Helping little ones learn the difference between right and wrong and helping them understand life.

In between those moments.. there are the "how do I survive this?" moments.

Take for instance, laundry. What's the point, really? (Jorge at 1)

cleaning the house? What does it matter. (yes, that'd be coffee grounds). Alex @ 18 months

(isaac @ <1)

And as a mother.. you live for daily heart attacks, right? (jorge @ 2)

and then clean kids? Psh.. it's overrated.

I'm telling you friends.. it's all about survival.

The Creek is cold.. and fun.

2011-07-06T08:35:00.000-04:00

After my last post about our 4th of July family tradition, I got to thinkin' about another "tradition" of sorts.

The creek.

We inducted Isaac this past weekend and then that meant that I needed to find old pictures of the other kids when they were first introduced to the Creek. Even in July, it is still very cold.

So we can start, as usual, with the first child to experience it.

the boots were kinda pointless at that point.. ha!

Alex as wee babe.. splashing..

Alex enjoying it from a distance..

Turns out that I don't have a picture of the diva as a baby.. in the creek. Mainly because mommy said it was too cold for the "girl" to get in. Oy.

This was this past weekend. the boys have certainly gotten older..

and now Eva enjoys the creek and is fearless.

Isaac on the other hand..

not so much..

He prefers not to have cold water on his person at all.

there was so much fretting over that water..

that it wore him "slap" out.

Yup.. that's some kinda tired right there..

a tour of July 4th.. through the years.

2011-07-05T10:07:00.010-04:00

Welcome to a tour of our family tradition.

Back in 2002.. my (then) boyfriend proposed to me on the soccer field of an elementary school right before the fireworks exploded. It was July 4th 2002. He picked that location because two years before that is where he had invited me (with another friend of mine) to watch the fireworks with his family. Jorge and I had been friends up until that point, but it was at that family gathering that I said (in my head): this guy is amazing and I would love to marry him.

Granted, we weren't even dating.. but I knew he was high quality. So when we started dating I told him that story.. and it meant a great deal to him. So much so, that he picked that exact spot to propose.

Thus we return every year.. with an extra kid in tow just about every year. ha!

July 4th, 2005. This was our first time taking a baby.. our firstborn.. He was almost 3 weeks old. And he was less than thrilled with the fireworks.

July 4th, 2006: i was pregnant and we didn't go. We opted to watch the fireworks at home.

July 4th, 2007: Date night. Had a sitter (because we were convinced the kids would not enjoy it.. ehem.. or we wouldn't) and did a double date with some friends.

July 4th, 2008: Very pregnant with our third child (born in August).

July 4th, 2009: we celebrated with friends in Georgia. And wouldn't you know, I don't have one family picture of that. Just like me. sigh.

July 4th, 2010: Family of six. Baby Isaac is a 2 months old. I love Jorge's expression.
And finally: July 4th, 2011. Alex does not want to look at the camera and my hubby has a light on his head (all the kids had one to be able to see in the dark, duh).

I love to see these pics.. brings back great memories.

Hope you all had a great Fourth!

it's the little things..

2011-06-29T10:35:00.003-04:00

It's a frightening moment when, while folding laundry, there is a considerably LOW amount of clean underwear for two boys. It was obvious that they weren't changing underwear as much as I'd hoped.

My sister, does something that I thought I'd give a try: tell them to put on clean underwear at night when they put their pj's on. (and considering that most nights the underwear IS the pajama.. it makes sense).

Now I am happy to report that I am washing/folding a LOT more little boy underwear.

Also, I think I should note that my husband is a genius. I have long loathed the bed time routine only because of brushing teeth for the kids. I seemed to think time efficiency was the goal so I would round up all of them and get them to brush their teeth all at the same time. It would nearly put me over the edge. Everyone spitting on each other, water everywhere, mommy's feet getting stepped on..etc..

Then one night my husband was handling this routine and he was, GASP, bringing them in the bathroom one.at.a.time. GENIUS!! Why didn't I think of that??

I promise.. it's the little things that make all the difference..

You got any "little thing" ideas that seem to make life run more smoothly for you?

Feedback on the world of blogging..

2011-06-24T10:12:00.004-04:00

I thank you all that encouraged me after my post, that was an attempt at transparency. I am not surprised at those that are refreshed to hear honesty, especially in the world of blogging.

I wanted to share one comment from a friend, that really says what is in my head and heart.

"I appreciated your honesty Rachel! Not only is there a lesson to be learned in writing blogs, but there is also a skill to be had in reading them. Often, I have found myself comparing, feeling guilty, arguing in my mind, etc. I've had to fast blogs at times because of that! I need to remember that blogs are documented journeys. It was so great for me to hang out a bit with you and other "mommy bloggers" on our last trip, and be reminded that you all are very real women and your kids are real too! Not that you have built a facade here, but only so much can be seen online. Hopefully these blogs can be encouragements to all of us as we journey on this crazy road called motherhood."

Very well said Emily. Thank you.

I absolutely agree "that there is a skill to be had in reading" blogs. If you find yourself comparing or feeling guilty it may be time to take a moment of reflection and realize that one of two things could be happening.

1. The "problem" is the blog. The writer is comin' on strong with the hints of "this is how you should do things," "if you aren't doing this, you have a problem," etc. This was my trap as the writer. I would often times do it subtly but it was there. Heck, I even had a parenting tips tab. (it may still be there). Bottom line: if a blog shares opinions. That's great. But the writer is telling you that's how you should do things.. then you may want space yourself.

2. The "problem" is you. If the writer of the blog isn't doing the above and yet you still find yourself feeling guilty, you may have to do a personal inventory and ask yourself some hard questions. "Why do I feel guilty?" "Is this an area that I am currently struggling in?" I have personally gone to a blog and seen how the mom had a picture of her kids brushing their teeth at night and talked about how great her kids did at it. I felt guilty. Why? because I often forget to get my kids to brush their teeth at night. HA! That's not the fault of the blog writer. She is probably pretty excited that her kids can brush their own teeth with little assistance.. but me? I loathe the process because my kids do things like: spit the nasty toothpaste mix all around the sink.. but not in it, or they rub the toothpaste in their hair or have even spit on each other. So yeah.. when I see a pic of a happy bunch of kids doing a bang up job I think, "wow, i bet if I worked with my kids more on that they would actually learn how to do it too."

Anyway. Here's my point. Not all blogs tell you the in between of their daily posts of bliss. And not all blogs detailing bliss are trying to make you feel badly. But it is a skill to learn the difference. Keep in mind, as Emily said, that it's all a journey.

Some of us just choose which parts to document.

Have fun blog hopping. And keep your wits about you.

Friday Fun Facts

2011-06-24T08:21:00.002-04:00

1. I don't drink coffee.

2. I often forget to call people back. And I rarely check my voicemail.

3. I just figured out that "spot mopping" is waaaaay more practical than "real" mopping.

4. I haven't eaten Taco Bell in almost three months.

5. #4 is a BIG deal because I used to go about 2-3 times a week. wow.

6. I've lost my inspiration to take pictures. I think it has something to do with the heat. Yup, Im pretty sure that's it. This Alabama heat is not nice.

7. My waiter bought me a drink last night while out with some girlfriends. It was a non-alcholic drink because I was telling him that alcohol makes me get a headache (can you say "lightweight?"). My friends were enjoying some 'rita's and I was drinking a diet coke. I guess he wanted me to "look" like I was enjoying myself a little more. ha! (although, I was the one laughing the loudest.. but that's just me).

8. I seriously need to clean my house. but the fact that we have gone somewhere every day this week has kept cleaning from happening. The plan is to stay home next week to potty train miss Eva. Again. But for real this time.

9. I am doubting my ability to potty train another child.

10. I loathe potty training. LOATHE.

Happy Friday everyone!

I'll give you ONE guess...

2011-06-23T09:36:00.002-04:00

Wanna guess how a pan of brownies ends up looking like this?:

Her.
That girl.

(and yes, she does this in stealth mode).

thankful for milestones..

2011-06-22T19:31:00.003-04:00

I love when a milestone hits.

And I'm not talking about walking, talking or clapping.

I like the milestones that bring independence with them. Or that usher in a new calm in our house.

Take for instance the event pictured below. Imagine classical music (Vivaldi, to be exact) playing in the background. And complete silence (other than my man V).
My two older boys sitting happily on the floor drawing in their "dream journal" books. (Technically, it's just a book for them to draw in but they got that name from a movie they've seen.)

I also noticed, after the shot was taken, that they are both sitting the same way. One right handed the other, left.

It's a neat milestone that I thought would never come when they were 3 and 2 and screaming like banshee's all over my house. And just the thought of them sitting still to color was sheer torture.

Alas, one more thing that older moms told me would happen in time.. and it's happening.

Just in time for the younger two to scream like banshee's in my house.

Oy.

in which I apologize to friends and strangers alike..

2011-06-21T05:18:00.004-04:00

if you are new to my blog.. this may seem strange.

If you have been "following" for any amount of time (over a year) then this may make perfect sense.

I've experienced a lot of growing up in the last year of my life and it pains me that anyone new to my blog could take a look into prior posts and see what I "used" to be like. So to spare your time I will sum it up. I used to use my blog as a way to vent, preach or (as I liked to call it) "teach."

*I thought I had all the right answers.

*I thought I had to share all my opinions with everyone. Even if you didn't ask for my opinion.

*I thought I needed approval from others and for them to validate what I thought was "right."

*I thought I needed a place to "speak my mind."

*I thought a good "friend" was someone who wasn't afraid to tell you what they thought.

*I thought that it was my responsibility to tell you how your children, marriage and life (in general) could be made better, if you only would do ________ (fill in the blank).

*I'll even confess that I got adrenaline rushes from negative responses to my posts and would therefore desire to "stir the pot" just to get that rush.

*I'll confess that most of my life (up until this point) I have understood little about what a true friend is.

So, now what?

*I thought I had all the right answers. I realize I don't have all the right answers. In fact, so much of what I thought was "right" wasn't so right after all. (I'm speaking of my "ones size fits all" legalistic view of life).

*I thought I had to share all my opinions with everyone. Even if you didn't ask for my opinion.Turns out, that is what pushes people away. And even if there are a few people who agree with me, they don't want to be friends with someone who pushes their views on people.

*I thought I needed approval from others and for them to validate what I thought was "right."This is huge for me. I don't have to gain any one's approval for me to be okay with me. I am a beloved daughter of a King. He loves me, good, bad and ugly. I am who He made me to be. Therefore, I don't need to seek the temporary approval of anyone. I don't have to run on that "performance treadmill." I am accepted by the One that matters most. There has been so much freedom in owning this.

*I thought I needed a place to "speak my mind." I realize that most of the things I was doing that with, were not worth the loss of relationship. An easy lesson for some, but I take a while longer than others to get things into my noggin'.

*I thought a good "friend" was someone who wasn't afraid to tell you what they thought. I think it's safe to say that after pushing away enough people, I am learning what makes a valuable friend. I used to not be a "safe" place for people. I am learning what that looks like now.

*I thought that it was my responsibility to tell you how your children, marriage and life (in general) could be made better, if you only would do ________ (fill in the blank). A lot of my posts were not "in your face" as much as they were subtle in this regard. I would go on and on about how I "do things" around here. That, I now know, was possibly heaping judgement, guilt and possibly shame on other moms. The truth is that even when I thought I had the answers, I would never admit that my own life didn't meet my own expectations. There was the rub. But I would never post about that. Until now.

*I'll even confess that I got adrenaline rushes from negative responses to my posts and would therefore desire to "stir the pot" just to get that rush. And every time I would say, "I'm not trying to start a fight, promise." But yet, inside of course I loved it. It was attention. Negative or not. (It's gross, I know.)

*I'll confess that most of my life (up until this point) I have understood little about what a true friend is. Thankful for those that have stuck around, patiently loving on me while I work through tough lessons. Proving that a faithful friend loves at all times. Not that they put up with my junk, but they are quick to show love and grace.

Here is the bottom line:

I am not going to delete years of blog posts, but please know that God is changing me. It's hard, scary and very humbling. And for all those that I have hurt, offended and basically pushed away, I am truly sorry.

the magic walls in my house..

2011-06-20T12:32:00.003-04:00

My sister doesn't believe me. She thinks that if i just kept my kids from napping for, I dunno, 10 days.. then they would sleep in later. Well, the TRUTH is.. my house has magic walls. It matters not what we did that day, if they had a nap or not, my kids (or one of them) will wake up at the 5:45-6:15 range. The only time that my children sleep past 7 a.m is when they are babies. And even then they wake up in the wee hours of the morning, nurse and then go back to sleep.

Here you see Alex, up and playing with his Army men by 6 a.m.

even though it's early, it is still cute.

a little bit.

What time do your kids wake up?

He needs attention.. obviously.

2011-06-19T14:48:00.005-04:00

Look at that face, will ya? I mean seriously, how do you ignore a face like that? It's impossible. Especially when that face is now trying to rival his big sister's "Dennis the menace" mentality of life.

I snapped this picture and almost missed his guilty expression. Did you notice what he was doing? Taking the cover off the AC vent. Of course, he got a "no no" from mommy, thus the look. Adorable.

This is the outcome of me trying to unload the dishwasher with Isaac anywhere near the kitchen. Yup, he's trying to stand on his head.

But don't worry.. she will.not.be.outdone.

{sigh}.. i stay busy. no?

yes.

Operation Organize: Treehouse.

2011-06-15T08:08:00.001-04:00

As I said in an earlier post, the decision to "organize" our house came from the realization that while it was still on the market (and has been for a year) we needed to accept that this was our house indefinitely. And we were happy with that.. but we just needed to make it our own, again.

That process started with my husband and his deciding that whether it was an eye sore or not, he was going to build the kids tree house. A process he started when we originally put the house on the market a year ago, but took down when the realtor said that a tree house may not appeal to all buyers. So, believing we would sell quickly, we held off on the tree house. Until last week. My husband said, "that's it. I'm building it."

So this was the beginning of our "Operation Organize" even though a treehouse isn't exactly organizing. Either way, my man is an awesome craftsman.

Here is the tree before:

And AFTER:

complete with a ladder, a route for a climbing wall and a rappelling rope.

And here it is being used.. with kids throwing water balloons at a moving target below.

I can not brag enough on my handsome man for the hard work he did (in a WEEK) in this Alabama summer heat! The kids LOVE their new treehouse.

Thank you babe. You never cease to amaze me with your talents.

the SCREAM heard around the block..

2011-06-13T17:16:00.007-04:00

So my nephew is here for the week to attend VBS with his cousins (if he doesn't get severe homesick"ness" before Friday).

Anyhoo, my older three, plus Levi (and my niece, Nataly) were all playing outside. I was mopping the floors. Then I hear my nephew say in a very sweet voice, "Aunt Rachel.. can you come here?"

I walked to the laundry room and he was holding a red bin (used in the school room, btw). I peek in, fully anticipating a small insect. Instead I see this:

And yes, I screamed. In shock. Horror, even. Of course, my kids laughed at my screaming.. but I only hoped it would instill fear into them until we could identify this freak of nature.

While they were happy to inspect the bug.. I was wishing I had a macro lens.. to allow me to be even further away from the monstrosity.

You see, growing up I had NO desire to even look at bugs.. so I had no clue as to what kind it was.. but I quickly sent a picture to mom, dad and my brother Paul. All three texting back that it looked like a "stag beetle."

To make matters worse.. she would not leave "it" alone. She kept wanting to "pet"it. Ewww.

I promptly called my sister and said she could come pick up her son (an hour away), who would be sitting on the porch.. with his new pet.

Operation Organize: Phase 2 (Closets)

2011-06-11T11:40:00.005-04:00

The older boys' closet.. BEFORE: (when i opened the door, the stuff fell out.. haha.. obviously need to work on teaching the boys how to "clean up" better).

After:

Eva and Isaac's closet BEFORE:

AFTER:

Total: $1.58!!

2 fabric organizers. (clearance at Old Time Pottery)

With the boys.. I had to purge some toys. The bucket is for their costumes and dress up stuff. The blue tub at the top (in the AFTER pic) was the old toy box. I took the rectangle one from the living room and put it at the end of their bunk beds. (hello recycle). I set up the little organizer for books and their backpacks, leapster bags, etc.

Eva's closet was a hot mess that just needed some attention in order to go through the vat of clothes she has acquired. I also had to get rid of the smaller clothes in the drawers so that I could make room for Isaac's stuff, since he has been sharing a dresser with me for the past year. So now, they are both sharing that closet. Even though she sleeps in the other room with her older brothers. Eventually she will be sharing a room with Isaac. I also had to purge a lot of stuff in there.

Now the back of my car is loaded up with goodies for the thrift store.

This job included a lot of purging and organizing what was all ready there. The cloth shelves are great though.

Operation Organize: Phase 1

2011-06-09T12:00:00.004-04:00

The mess in the living room.. Before:

After:
$170 total:

$80- 2 cube shelves (9 cubes each) Target/on sale.

$20-big toy box w/liner (against the wall)

$22 for 4 cloth baskets (Target/on sale)

$48 for 4 wicker baskets (target).

All the toys from the old toy box fit (organized too) in the baskets on the shelves. The stacked bookshelf is unnecessary because the books are in a basket (the baby books) and the big kid books are on the shelf.

We still have the "shoe box" next to the toy box.. but i think i will put it in the laundry room when we get to that room.

I LOVE it. This is the look I've always wanted. Potterybarn-ish.. without the potterybarn price.

Next.. Kids' rooms/closets.

Operation Organize

2011-06-08T13:28:00.003-04:00

So, when your house has been on the market for a year, you may decide it's time to adjust to the reality: you WILL be living in your "small/cozy" house indefinitely.

In that case.. it's time to make some MAJOR adjustments.

FUNCTIONAL organizing.

That simply means that we must forgo the "pretty" for the "functional" to maximize space in our precious little 1300 sq. ft home. My hubby and I are taking one room at a time. Starting with the living room and dining room. We will be getting our pictures back on the wall (you know, because realtor's suggest you take personal stuff down) and if someone wants to buy our house.. they will have to buy it having looked at only my kids faces on the walls.

I just got back from Target with my first organizational purchase: two of these..

and I will be sure to post a before and after picture. In fact, I will post pics of all our progress.

I am thankful to be able to finally feel like we aren't in limbo. And part of loving a house is making it your own.. so that is what we are going to do (again). This time, even better. Maximizing our space. Think NYC loft! haha.

Well, I better go.. laundry won't fold itself.

(but it sure does sit in the basket for days just fine).

Colorado 2011..

2011-06-02T08:08:00.001-04:00

So we went to Colorado for 8 days..

(top of Pikes Peak, 14k feet)

to see my "little" brother, Paul, graduate from the Air Force Academy. This was his commissioning.. now he is a 2nd Lt.

and now he is going to do this: (that'd be combat rescue)

Some enjoyed playing hide-n-seek..

others enjoyed hiking..

Some enjoyed sitting..

all enjoyed chasing daddy..

some of the awesome people responsible for the trip.. Graddaddy and dad (Jim).

a wonderful "Unkey Joe"

Some silly people: colin (cousin) and rachel (little sister).

enjoying their silliness (also little sister Ruth)

even our littlest loved Colorado..

visited the local wildlife... (at the zoo).

we even fed the animals (with Nana's help). .

It was an amazing zoo, in the side of a mountain..

We had an amazing time. And came back to record heat in Alabama. 15 degrees above normal for this time of year. Wow. Guess I should've enjoyed the Colorado weather more.

my baby boy.. turns 1.

2011-05-20T12:19:00.002-04:00

My sweet Evan Isaac. What a joy you are. I mean really, look at your face. How am I not absolutely smitten with those eyes? I am so thankful that God saw fit to include you in our family. You are the sweetest little boy and are generally just the happiest little one in the house. Your siblings love you and love to make you laugh, which doesn't take much work. And what a little chow hound you are. We are blessed to have you and look forward to seeing God's plan for your special life.

In mid walk.. looks like he has a swagger to his step.. ha.

Love you "fat face." I promise to stop calling you that soon. But I love you endlessly.

Parenting Tips Numero 3.

2011-05-17T22:53:00.009-04:00

You can read my first and second installment if you'd like..

Without further ado...

It's best not to give your baby an Oreo. They probably won't like it very much.

Enter your child into rehab as soon as you see the hoarder tendencies.

Be prepared: letting your child choose their style.. well, it can backfire.

DO NOT let your child sit on tables.

If you are at all concerned about driving with a toddler in your lap. Maybe it would be better just to let them drive by themselves.

It's best to let them work out their own issues.

I personally believe that emptying the case of wipes is a good way to learn counting.

When trying to cook dinner, it's best to keep the little ones busy.

I can't say it enough: HYDRATE your children.

I think it's never too early to teach your children what to do if they encounter someone who isn't willing to share their toys.

Finally, I think it's best to enable your families' compulsive tendencies when they come to visit. Therefore deeming it socially acceptable to let your sister steam clean your toilet upon visiting.

Now time to make your own post and let me know the link so that I can get a chuckle.

Adios.

Im still here..

2011-05-09T16:19:00.003-04:00

Just thought I'd let my readers know (all five of you) that I am still here.

Alabama had some Tornado's and our house has been kinda busy since. We didn't get any damage but I have been trying to do what I can to help.

Also, officially started back the doula gig with a birth yesterday. Very excited to write that birth story and post it soon on my birth blog.

Also, baby Isaac is turning ONE on Thursday (along with my neice-turning 9) and his party will be Saturday. Then we leave for Colorado on the 21st. So things are not slowing down at all, but hopefully I will be able to throw in some blog candy when I can.

Adios.

ahhh.. letting out some steam...

2011-04-27T16:36:00.005-04:00

So I bought a hand held steamer (was that what you were thinking I was talking about??)..

And it is awesome!! My sister, Mishka, told me about all the stuff she was able to clean with hers, so I had to try it out.

It makes cleaning so much easier.

In order to show you, I have to be transparent. So, don't judge..

(I did forget to get a picture of the bigger job I tackled in my fridge). Something had spilled and gotten underneath the crisper's and it was there for a while. Had I tried to clean it with soap and water, I would have been there a while. But the steamer took care of it in under a minute. Loosened it right up.

But don't loose heart. I still had more disgusting ick inside the actual crisper's.

Apparently some onion peel got stuck in something very sticky. (i have no clue). It would take a lot of elbow grease to scrape that stuff off.

But after my steamer.. it was nice and clean. And it took about less than a minute to loosen the junk.. Nice and clean.

However, the main reason I bought it was to try it out on my hall bathroom. The one used by two boys (ages 5 & 4). It smells like a public bathroom in there because they have probably peed on every part of that toilet beside in the water. Sooo those hard to reach places are going to be easy targets with my new steamer. And with no chemicals because the heat of the water also disinfects. ;-)

So i'll try to remember to document that one. Im sure it will be a lovely sight.

adios.

Just a swingin'

2011-04-26T08:15:00.000-04:00

Do you remember that song: "Just a swingin." When i saw these pictures that's what I started singing in my head. So of course I had to try and find the song. It only took me back about 20 years. Wow.

Anyway.. Eva really enjoys "pushing" Isaac (if you can call it that) in the swing. He seems to like it too...

trying to get him as high as she can go..

not quite realizing she has to get out of the way once she lets go..

and I simply adore both of their expressions in this.

and in case you aren't keeping up.. this cutie will turn ONE on May 12th. Wild. Just Wild.

Single Folks.. eat your heart out!

2011-04-25T11:01:00.003-04:00

Singles think they have all the fun.. Well let me ask you, single friend:

What do you do on a Saturday night?

Go out to eat? pshhh.. boring.

Get a pedicure? hmm. typical.

Hang out with other adults? zzzzzzzzzzz.

Well, I'm here to tell ya: Parents have MORE FUN!
Yep! That's right. See, you could be washing out your son's bedding with a hose in your front yard after he's thrown up, what looks to be three days worth of food, at 9:30 at night.

Smashing good fun!

Then you could watch old episodes of The Office on Netflix while he sleeps on the couch while you are on "future throw up" ALERT.

Jealous yet?

If not, how does being home bound sound? Not having a car whilst trapped, er, umm.. at home with your four kids.
Yep. You may not be able to tell but there is HUGE black spot on my driveway under my van (notice the oil on the actual door of the car? don't ask me how that happened). Needless to say, my van is in the shop and I am trying to remain hopeful as to how much dinero it will cost and when I will actually escape, I mean, leave the house again.

Until then, my single friends..

don't hate.

in which we all get in the bathtub..

2011-04-21T15:26:00.002-04:00

Last week we had some severe weather in Alabama. Everyone got out of school at 12 noon for storms that were coming at 4pm. (slightly irritated at that.. but I will move on).

Since this was the first time we've had an actual Tornado pass through our area.. ever, the kids were amazed at what they were seeing.

Here they are enjoying the massive downpour and occasional hail. Even Isaac is watching.

But as the sirens were blaring and James Spann (our local weatherman genius) was warning.. AND my five year old was begging.. we headed to "safety." I told them they could bring the Nilla Waffers and their pillows. Well, then it wasn't so scary anymore. Jorge brought his gun in case, you know, the tornado brought in some bad guys.

Eva took care of the food stockpile, eh hem.

and we stayed in there all of five minutes.

The Tornado decided to go further south and head on out of our county.

I did learn a valuable lesson that day: if you have a dramatic five year old, no matter how much you tell him that everything is going to be fine and you yourself remain as calm as a cucumber (even though you are a bit nervous because daddy is downtown still at work).. your dramatic child will still be a worrier. So take it easy on him. He is built differently than you. And that's okay. He will learn to trust over time.

And it's probably best to appease him when he is pulling you in to the bathroom so you won't get sucked up by the tornado.

Tornado Isaac..

2011-04-20T10:55:00.003-04:00

To be so little.. he sure knows how to make a big mess.. in a very short amount of time.

Here is what i love. The time on this photo 3:15:15 (as in 15 seconds).. now look at the next one

3:15:20. yep.. five seconds, folks. that child is wishy washy. And Im sure I made a funny face to get him to laugh.

He is quite adorable. imo.

We had a "scare" with the nursing. He had started to bite me. So the nursing got down to a minimum. I was trying all the "tricks" to get him to stop and nothing was helping. Then he got a cold, which included a stuffy nose, and it was near impossible for him to suck and breathe at the same time.

I was sure our nursing time was coming to an end. But thankfully, he is breathing better AND has stopped biting me. Although, he does get an inkling to try and bite me every once in a while and I get a stern voice and say "OWW! NO BITE." And it seems to be registering now.

So hopefully I can actually make it to his first birthday (May 12th). Which would be a first for my kiddos. That's my prayer, anyway.

adios.

Run AWAY!!!

2011-04-19T13:34:00.005-04:00

SICKNESS!!!

It has run through our house. Jorge threw up. Eva had diarrhea and now this is day two in the life of sick Alex. He was out because of a fever yesterday. And then today: fever AND he threw up. In my bed.

When i texted my husband to tell him that Alex threw up in our bed he replied: "which side? yours or mine. haha. sorry."

Well it was my side. But i forgive him.

I mean look at that pitiful face...

Crackers. Water bottle. And the big green throw up bowl.

Which has doubled as a popcorn bowl at times.

Sorry.

That is gross.

He likes frijoles!

2011-04-16T16:43:00.003-04:00

(sorry for the picture quality)

But Isaac loves beans!!

(notice his hair??)

feeling a bit nostalgic..

2011-04-15T14:17:00.003-04:00

I uploaded some old pictures onto my computer from my external hard drive so that I can make some memory books.
Looking through the baby pictures took me back. I hate to say it.. it goes so fast.

i look at these pictures and I can't help but feel incredibly blessed. With the man holding them and the babies themselves.

Jorge, 6/10/2005

Alex, 9/29/06

Eva, 8/26/08

Isaac, 5/12/10

Are all those your kids?

2011-04-14T08:55:00.001-04:00

I have four. F.O.U.R kids. That is not a lot (in my mind). Especially considering that I have friends with 5, 6 or 7 kids.

But I do "get it" that them being so close in age, and all under 5, it looks like a circus when we go out..but I seriously don't get some people's reactions.

For instance, yesterday at Walmart. A man in his late sixties (my guess) was with his wife. She and I were both rummaging through the packaged meats when he decides to go for it.

him: "All those your kids?" (strong southern accent).
me: "Yup."
him: with a chuckle, "you guys aint figured out what causes that?"
me: never looking up from the meats, "Well, actually yes. And we like it very much."
him: an embarrassed chuckle, "well.. uh.. i guess you would."

(I should note that his wife, after I said that we liked it, gave him a death stare).

And I should forewarn everyone.. if you decide to ask me about my sex life.. I will answer you. Gone are the days of politely ignoring you. I will engage your desire to find out about my sex life and reproductive tendencies.

Galaxar out.

don't play with your food!

2011-04-13T01:29:00.000-04:00

I mean, seriously.

Did you not LOVE to do this as a kid??

I have memories of doing this. It makes my heart smile that my kids love to do this too. Even if their mom had to show them it was even an option.

Next thing ya know, they'll be slinging pasta on the wall to see if its done.

What food fun do you remember doing when you were a kid??

(Mishka, do not say "using mom's attempt at homemade biscuits as weapons or as a tennis ball." Because, obviously, I got that baking gene passed down to me).

Being a mom and Ministering to those outside your four walls.

2011-04-12T08:21:00.002-04:00

Every once in a while I get a tad bit sad that I am completely and utterly overwhelmed with the happenings inside my own four walls. I get overwhelmed that my season of life (with small children) makes it very difficult to plan any way of ministering mercy to those outside of my four walls. I get overwhelmed when I know the needs that are out there, not only in my sphere of influence (friends) but in my neighborhood, city and beyond. I get overwhelmed when I think about all the ways I could be helping.

Ahh, guilt. The spice of life.

I get overwhelmed and think, "how are my little kids going to see that mercy ministries (helping the poor) are dear to our family's heart when I am having a hard time ministering because of my life with small children?"

Then a mom gave a perspective that someone had shared with her. She said, "to consider yourself like Paul (in the Bible): under house arrest. So many times we are bound to the home because of our "season." Therefore, ask God to bring those opportunities to your front door. And be amazed at how he does exactly that."

Under House Arrest.

Perfect! That's exactly how it feels sometimes. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely opportunities to help others. But I am talking about those times where we are ministering mercy to the down and out, the poor and the forgotten. Those are the ones that I need God to bring to my day to day life without me having to search them out.

And guys, I realized, He does. Can I share one time with you (and I pray you don't think I am trying to brag here). But my heart was saddened because I thought I wasn't showing my kids how to minister mercy.. but then I remembered, not one but several times that they have seen it: by us taking food to the guy at the bottom of the interstate with a sign for "need work/money."

One time in particular, we were exiting to go to our church. We saw the guy and I asked my hubby to pull through the McDonald's (the only thing that had breakfast on that exit) so that we could take some to him. I think I ordered about 7 things for him to choose from (and have left over for later). The entire time my older boys were asking what? why? and why this guy? After we took it to him we headed on our way to church. And do you know that often when we get off at that exit my oldest will ask about that man. Did he get a house? Did he find a job? Does he need more food? (also, funny is the time I bought $20 worth of Taco Bell for another guy.. and even told him I was going to pick some up for him before, only to come back and the police had made him move on and he was no where in sight. But I would do it over again if I had to).

Here is the thing. My kids now ask me, when we see anyone at the bottom of the exit, if we are going to get them food. You see, that means that in their little heads.. that it is a given. That, my friends is what my heart wants. For them to see those opportunities and take them.

Anyway, if you are under house arrest like me.. take heart. There are opportunities that God can and will bring to your world. Until that time where you can seek them out more intentionally.

Wardrobe Malfunction..

2011-04-11T13:17:00.005-04:00

Definitely.

This is what happens when you dress yourself... and you're two.

in which I stir the pot of controversy..parenting edition.

2011-04-09T10:12:00.003-04:00

I haven't rocked the boat in a while. I've kept my posts very mellow and non-hot button issue-ish.

Until now.

I know I am going to get a debate going over here.. but I can no longer.hold.it.in.

What do you think of when you see this?:

There seems to be two types of momma's out there. The kind that sees this as an opportunity to teach your child conformity to rules and absolutes and the mom that could give a rip and just says, "have at it. Just don't destroy the equipment."

I betcha aren't sure which one I camp in.

Ya see, there is no sign on that equipment. Contrary to the ones at Chickfila that say "NO CLIMBING." the equipment above is meant to be climbed on. However, I'm sure not every child is like mine (or my sisters' since hers were doing it too) and will climb on the outside of that slide or traverse the outside of the bars on the walkway.

But I ran into a mom that was of the first mindset and yelled out in the direction of my child but supposedly to her child (who wasn't climbing on the outside), "yeah, and play on the equipment the way it's meant to be played on."

Please, dear mom, tell me what that looks like.

Here is my thing.. i understand the philosophy behind "up the stairs down the slide." I used to preach it all.the.time.. until my boys reached three years old. And I realized that they wanted the challenge of climbing up that slide. Heck, I realized i used to do that too.. remember these?:

I used to have a field day going up those things. And trying not to get burned, btw. But I don't allow my kids to do it when someone else wants a turn going down the slide. So there are some restrictions that apply. But I don't hold the overall philosophy that these things are NOT meant to be played on that way. Like it's some kind of kid code. Otherwise, as my sister so eloquently pointed out, "then no kid would ever climb a tree." Then I argued that those that hold the first opinion about the play equipment likely aren't too comfortable with their kids climbing a tree. But that may be too much of a generalization that isn't true. But if its not, then please tell me why the tree is okay but not the slide.

Anyway, here is my point. I think there is a whole parenting philosophy to be discussed here. I am all for rules. I don't let my children climb on the CFA equipment, well, because there is a sign saying not to.

But barring destroying property.. I allow my children to climb on playground equipment. And yes, I do intervene if they are about to hurt someone.

I don't know where you stand on the issue.. but I am fine with my children climbing. And if you are not comfortable with it, maybe you can adopt the motto we have in our family: "Others may, you may not."

that is all.

feel free to express your opinion. ;-P

It's life in survival mode..

2011-04-08T12:11:00.003-04:00

Yes, that is my daughter sitting on our table. While "playing Uno" with her brother. As you can see, I was productive in folding laundry. It just sat there for half the day before it got put up. I love that I also made sure not to cover the part of the table where their seats are so that I could have more flexibility to leave the clothes there. Yes friends, that was premeditated procrastination. Score!

It's amazing what happens the more kids you throw in the mix. I could care less that Eva was playing cards while sitting on the table. It was cute. And I grabbed my camera to capture it. And i also cared less that my laundry sat on the table for most of the day. I was just impressed it got folded (nevermind, it sat in the laundry room for two days). Ahh.. being overwhelmed.. it's allows you to relax a bit on all your "rules."

It's amazing when I think about how stressed I used to get over little things. Now I know Im outnumbered and I've stopped trying to keep everything in order. There.is.no.way. So here is to just keeping my head above water. ;-P

they get their crazy.. from me..

2011-04-07T13:29:00.001-04:00

I made a post about my kids being crazy. Well they come by it honestly. .

He is not that shocked. .

Like mother... yup.

My Crazy kids...

2011-04-05T13:52:00.001-04:00

I think it's well documented on this blog that my kids are.. well.. different. Lots of energy and just a tad bit silly.

I heard Isaac cackling and immediately grabbed my camera before I even knew what I'd find.

Yes, that is my eldest licking the glass..

and that is my youngest.. going in for the kiss, because.. well he sees tongue. and that's baby gold.

and here comes Eva to bang a rock on the glass door.

while crazy.. they are very adorable.

so my boys don't feel left out...

2011-04-02T18:22:00.005-04:00

My posts have been a little "Eva" heavy lately.. so just in case you forget that there are also three little boys in this house..

I came when I heard hysterical laughing.. they stayed like this for a while. .

this guy really likes oreo's and cream Ice cream.. but then again, who can blame him?

Alex playing while at my sister Mishka's house. (post to follow). He loves that transformer toy and finds it every.single.time he goes to her house. My sister said she would like for him to "lose it" anytime he can. (bc she is still willing to put the thing back together for those that get frustrated and can't do it.. me, I'm a meany. NOPE not gonna play that game. over and over). But he is still cute while playing with it..

She always gets into something..

2011-04-01T11:37:00.007-04:00

It seems that life with a 2 year old (as if i haven't done this a few times to know by now) is more about keeping them busy, lest they destroy your house or themselves. But anything I give her to do.. well she pours herself into.. literally.

What started as a "clean the table" assignment (with soap)..

turned into.. a taste test (yes, it was a NEW sponge, thankfully).

Daddy came home just in time. She was happy to show him her handiwork.

Is there any more water left in the bucket not already on her?

And then there is that whole "doing school with her older brother" thing. She was supposed to be (and was when I last checked on her) "reading books" and playing with her baby doll. I came when i heard the rustling of some kind of paper.. turns out, it was the bag of Wipey's. And yes, she had pulled out what was left in the bag and laid them out perfectly on the couch.

(i love her "what" look)

Then this morning my sister in Montgomery, who we visited yesterday, sends me this message:

"Eva strikes again, couldn't figure out why the radio was making such a funny noise last night and when Mark turned it upside down water came out, I knew she looked a little guilty when she came out of Levi's room"

Oy.

As they say:

she better be glad she's cute!

Don't like how you look?

2011-03-31T08:38:00.004-04:00

I have to share an amazing post by my OLDER sister, Mishka. (that's a bit of an inside joke: the older part).

It's compelling, encouraging and you get to see her pretty face.

Click HERE to enjoy!

BEACH TRIP 2011!!

2011-03-29T09:52:00.008-04:00

We did it!!! We went to the beach. Ft. Walton Beach (6 miles from Destin). Fun. Relaxing. Yes, relaxing. We hired a nanny to come with us. Best decision of 2011, so far. Ha! The kids had a blast. They swam, in the hot tub.. because the beach in March is still too cold. And so is the regular pool. Thankfully the hot tub was not that hot and therefore safe for the kids.

This is Blessing. She was our nanny. She is amazing with children. She is one of eight in her own family. She was a God send. Very sweet and a heart for small children. I highly recommend you take her along on your next vacation. Her help is worth any amount! Thank you Blessing!! We miss you.

and alas, this is my favorite picture of 491 that I took. This picture is a perfect reminder to me to take that shot..even if i think it looks cheesy or isn't going to turn out. I very quickly bent down to get this shot. I stepped in front of Blessing and about knocked her over, because Eva was moving so quickly and i was just sure i'd miss the opportunity. In fact, when i looked at it in my camera (pre-editing) I was sure I wasn't going to like it. But now.. it's my favorite. two things: take the shot.. and lots of them.. second, always wait until you can edit a photo before you dismiss it.

adios!

Cut me some slack.. i have young children.

2011-03-11T09:35:00.005-05:00

I remember being a teenager and thinking that moms in their 30's were, well, out of touch. Out of touch with reality, culture and anyone not inside their head. I remember thinking how you must not have much on the inside of your head as a mom.

Turns out, I was right!

As a mom in my thirties, I can say with complete confidence that my middle name is "Scatterbrain."

I long felt that moms needed to get a life, but it turns out: ya can't! Not happenin'. And not for some time.

Most people have compassion for "young" moms. I think that is the classification if you are in your 20's and have small children. I mean, c'mon, 20's are like babe years. But what about having some compassion for the mom in her thirties, that has "young" children? Don't count us out, please. I often feel like I need to wear a shirt, sticker, or neon sign that says, "BECAUSE I HAVE YOUNG CHILDREN ____________" (fill in the blank or vice versa). Here let me help you:

*I can't pee in a bathroom by myself because I have young children.

*I put the phone in the refrigerator because I have young children.

*I get water dumped in my lap at a movie theater because I have young children.

*I forget to take my insulin for days because I have young children.

*I pull out of my driveway while talking on my home phone because I have young children.

*I can't stick to my exercise plan because I have young children.

*By the end of any given day I do not want ANYONE to touch me because I have young children.

*I wipe poop off of humans because I have young children.

*I cry over spilt milk because I have young children.

*I wish to take a nap everyday because I have young children.

*I don't care that the baby is eating eggs off the floor from breakfast, because I have young children.

*I don't care what tweeny bopper is dating which tweeny bopper because I have young children.

*I don't care about the label on my clothes or my children's clothes' because I have young children.

*I forget to call you back, send that email or know you exist because I have young children.

*I want a vacation because I have young children.

*I totally flub adult conversations because I have young children.

So, while not an exhaustive list, this is a starter. So please, cut us some slack. We ARE smarter than we appear. We will not always be in this phase. But know.. we are awesome. We just... have young children.

Feel free to add your own in my comments. :-)

Bye bye LONG hair.

2011-03-03T15:16:00.006-05:00

Bye Bye LONG hair...

Heeeeelllooo easy.

He likes it. I promise. Even though he didn't notice until I told him. Eh boys.

Whatcha think??

This girl needs a family!

2011-03-02T11:49:00.002-05:00

I know a family that wants to bring this little girl home. They just need funds..

Sharon, the precious little girl with HIV, has an "account" once it reaches a certain amount, then this family can commit to her and move forward with the process. Please consider giving something.. $10, $20 $1000. ANYTHING WILL help get her closer to a family!

click here..

thanks guys..

oh and please share her page.. it will get her face out there for others to see!

when you're the only girl..

2011-02-26T23:00:00.001-05:00

Every once in a while you will catch the only "little girl" in our house playing with some dolls..

It is quite sweet, because she is quite the little momma. She does know how to nurture and takes great care of her baby brother. And is also known to boss her older brothers...

However.. having three brothers gives a girl some interesting toy choices..

And then today.. this is how I found her. Playing legos. As a viking.

What??

Oy.. baby girl.

When mommy is away..

2011-02-25T09:53:00.001-05:00

So, on Monday nights I go to my accountability group.. and daddy has full solo reign over the kids..

The kids dance outside at night, with their guns. Clothing optional.

And you don't have to clean your face. EVER. And daddy gives you Dora bandaids even though the rule is: there has to be blood to get a bandaid.

That's why we love daddy's.

And it is his birthday today.. that awesome daddy! Happy birthday my sexy mex! I love you immeasurably.

if you aren't watching your 2 year old...

2011-02-24T15:43:00.009-05:00

it's your own fault..

notice the look of guilt (adorable, btw). with the blue (easy to wash away) marker positioned ever so far away from her..

the floor wasn't the only thing that received her mad skills.. both hands as well..

And with the help of a little brother, and a wet paper towel, it cleaned right up..

She will be at the next casting call for "Cinderella: The toddler years"..

(btw, for the record, I was in the kitchen, with her, making dinner.. but missed the artwork in progress).

this is why we won't get invited again...

2011-02-22T15:22:00.006-05:00

So we were invited (of course) to celebrate Granddaddy's 90th birthday. I don't know that we will ever get invited to such a nice event again. My end of the table included 3 siblings, a cousin and my husband. That was likely NOT a good combination. Especially when two of the adults don't get out much... ehem.

My husband decided to help the servers not only know what he ordered, but what they should call him.

And what do you do when you have extra "butter spheres?" you make a snowman. Thanks babe for putting the onion arms. classy.

He was in a mood, obviously, and suggested we get a picture doing the classic drink pose. I was thrilled.

Of course this napkin captured the age we decided to emulate at such a fine celebration.

But at the end of the night.. we all had a great time celebrating 90 (that's NINETY folks) years of life for one fine fellow. Who is a hard working, amazingly smart and God fearing man. Happy Birthday Grandaddy! (his cake was his favorite: Key lime pie). ;-)

She has my heart...

2011-02-18T14:07:00.000-05:00

Let Him entice you..

2011-02-10T22:39:00.004-05:00

For so much of my life as a Christian I have struggled with Grace.

I have struggled to truly accept that I am, in fact, a well loved daughter of a King. Rather, I think about all the things I could "do" that might make Him happy with me. The performance treadmill. Then when my heart wanders, and it does, I wonder why I just can't "pull myself up by my bootstraps" and get over it already. I struggled for years with anger (still do).. but I have been meditating on the truth that our love, genuine care, grace, mercy and nurturing of others has to come from a place of realizing that we have been, ourselves, loved first by Him. (1 John 4:19).

Another truth to chew on.. in Hosea (you know the story.. the adulterous woman that God is telling Hosea to pursue and love as a picture of His love for His people) in Hosea 2:14 God says of Isreal: "Behold I will allure her, bring her into the wilderness and speak kindly to her."

Allure-the power to attract or entice. This is the Lord God of Heaven describing his passion and pursuit of you. That right there, my friend, is scandalous. Scandalous grace. And then, He draws us to the wilderness.. desolate. a place that we humans have no control over.. it can be stunningly beautiful but also overwhelmingly desolate. It is there that His intention is to speak kindly to us.

Does that speak to your heart? the affections that your Father has for you? Not based on anything you've done for Him or done in His name. In fact, he tells Hosea to speak to Gomer, the woman who had betrayed him, to speak to her in this way.. kindly, to show His love.

Nothing can compare to that. Can you see why that "pull yourself up" and "I gotta get right first" CRAP is such a sad attempt STILL in the name of our OWN strength? His love, is different than what I have assumed for years. It is scandalous. It is audacious. "Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that His kindness leads you to repentance?" (Romans 2:4). The Law.. that was to show us our sin.. But Christ came to fulfill the Law. Now we live in His grace. His acceptance. His radiant pleasure shining upon us. That my friend is what gets me up in the morning. Not my sad attempt at what I can offer. I can't do that anymore. I am at the end of myself. I need that GRACE. I need Jesus. I need to know how much he wants to allure my wandering heart. prone to wander. For months. Prone to leave the God I love. but He takes our hearts and seals it.

Amazing Grace.. how sweet the sound. That song has new meaning to me now.

and I thought this day would never come..

2011-02-09T13:28:00.004-05:00

She put on her own SOCKS and SHOES.

She was quite happy with her work.

In fact, in the past few weeks I have required more "hands on " help from my kids.

-Jorge and Alex now put their own clothes away (after I fold them).

-Jorge unloads the dishwasher (minus the knives) and places all the dishes on the counter and I put them away (except, he puts away the silverware).

-they are bringing me their dirty clothes hamper (it's the little things) when its time to do laundry.

-they put their own dishes away after dinner and help clear the table.

I know im forgetting stuff.. but I am certainly enjoying having some independent, semi-self sufficient helpers around.

And here I thought this day would never come.

what are some of the "helper" things your kids do in your house??

Controlling? Who Me?

2011-02-08T10:15:00.004-05:00

Last night at our accountability group (of sorts).. we talked about relationships that rub us. And also areas that we try to control: areas of other peoples lives.

Moms: please don't confuse this with keeping our kids out of harm. Keeping them from certain consequences is helpful to them (protecting them from the pan on the stove).

The control I am learning about is areas that I try to "do" for my kids because I want them to "do" according to my expectation. Some of it is age appropriate and some is not. Lemme bust out an example for me in my season.

Behold....

My older boys' dresser. Jorge has the top two (big) drawers and Alex, the bottom two. I even put little cards to show who's was who's and which was for shirts and which for pants. I fold laundry, but the boys are responsible to put it in their drawers. Jorge is 5 and Alex is 4.

Once they are are in the drawer they magically turn into the picture above. A disheveled mess. This rubs me. I want to go in there and fold it again. But why? For appearances sake. But guess what? I can live in that tension that it's not going to look the way I want it too. The boys are, at this age, doing what they can. Folding, neatness and order are foreign concepts to them. Just getting them to be helpers putting it away is lesson enough. For now.

I did open their drawer to take the pic. Otherwise I do ask that they actually keep the drawers closed (which means the clothes have to actually be inside, folded or not).

But they do NOT have to be concerned with my level of expectation.. for now.

What about you? what are areas/relationships that rub you..that you realize are not for you to control?

Oh happy Monday..

2011-02-07T22:56:00.004-05:00

We did not go anywhere today.. (also because Eva has a GI something and Isaac is recovering from a cold).

The kids had fun playing today. For the most part, they played well. We even got some school done today.

Who knew that I wouldn't have lost my mind by the end of a day with sick littles and having been inside all day.

Quote of the day was when my husband called on his way home from work and asked if I wanted him to pick up dinner on his way home. I replied: "Nah, I'm good. I'm just going to do some easy tostadas for dinner." He said, "oh well, I heard a couple of kids crying and wasn't sure." Then I said, "Oh that's totally normal.. the kids crying. Its when you hear me crying, then yes, please bring dinner."

haha. I love my humor.

MY little SISTER.. the college Gymnast.

2011-02-05T18:01:00.003-05:00

Please visit the link below to watch my little sister perform her floor routine for the University of Alabama!! Roll Tide!!

http://www.gymnastike.org/coverage/238317-2011-MetroPlex-Challenge-College-Session/video/441939-Alabama-Rachel-Terry-9825

Parenting Tips Numero 2.

2011-02-03T22:57:00.014-05:00

Almost two years ago I posted about parenting tips (read here). I had so much fun looking through that post that I decided to do another one. Because quite honestly, you can glean a lot in two years (and two more kids).

So, here ya go.

When homeschooling and behind on school work. It's best not to slack off on reading. Find anytime to take the opportunity to read.

Do not allow your children to torment the other. Nor take pictures of it.

Don't allow your children to eat their food with their fingers. Thats just gross.

It's best not to let the children dress themselves for bedtime. Yes. Bed time.

Don't let your kids play "guns."

Always bring a change of clothes for the baby. Or an older siblings' extra fleece pull over.

If you must have your child around explosives.. keep them at a safe distance.

Please teach your child to be reverent at church. Please.

Keep believing that your baby has no ill will against you. ever.

That's it.

Now your turn. Please.

Post your blog post in my comments so that I can have fun reading it.

just dreamin'

2011-02-03T10:17:00.002-05:00

my sister's kids with Alex and Jorge..

I look at this photo and wish that my sister and I lived in the same city.

Im sure we'd run all over boundaries and be kid swapping all.the.time.

and I'd love it.

love you m.

Sweet dreams..

2011-01-30T21:43:00.002-05:00

My MIL was over the other night and was going to get Isaac out of his bed so that I could feed him. He was sleeping (quite soundly, I might add) and she came out of his room saying.. "oh you have to come take a picture of this.."

So here ya go..

Wook at those wips.

Such a sweet boy.

(and yes, I woke a sleeping baby to eat .. it was his last feeding for the night and I needed him to eat.. nursing moms know what im talking about). ;-)

Circus..

2011-01-29T21:00:00.001-05:00

So we went to the circus.. I'll upload more pics later.. but for now, this is my favorite...

I remember when I was this patient...

2011-01-27T17:15:00.001-05:00

spoiled first child...

Hobbits..

2011-01-26T22:35:00.003-05:00

I don't know why.. but this cracks me up. I think because their legs look so long..

Let me talk depression for a minute.

2011-01-25T15:05:00.004-05:00

I have recently been in a "funk." (read: depression).

Unmotivated. Feeling lethargic and then highly "emotional." Oh and add in some feelings of severe inadequacy.

Ahhh.. the spice of life.

But walking in that "tension" as we call it in recovery.. is a good place to be. You see, because that is where God meets you. NOT once you have your "act together." He meets you in your weakness. In fact, that is where His strength is perfected.

For years, I would beat myself up with guilt because not only did I know that I felt like I was in a pit, I couldn't just "snap out of it." And for that I was angry. Add to that, the notion that somewhere in my world there was someone that had it worse off than me and my happy tale of a life, well then, you can just add more guilt.

Stir. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

So now what?

Rest. Trust. Wait.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Rest in the tension. Trust that God will meet you AND restore you. Wait for Him to do it. Not some silly, contrived, half-hearted, in my own strength, gonna "do it no matter what" waste of your time.

Right where you are.. in that tension (emotion of the moment) you are a well loved daughter (or son) of the King. That phrase "He won't give you more than you can handle??" try this one on: "You (as you are in this moment) aren't more than He can handle."

Grace comes in the morning. Mercy too. Rest in it. You do not have to be something that you aren't. (happy, chipper, upbeat, excited, etc). Rest in the truth that you are loved. In this very moment.

So now on the other side of my valley.. my peace: it's from the Lord. Not fake "peace."

My happiness: it's from the Lord. Not fake, "I SHOULD be happy."

My joy for the simple things: It's from the Lord. Not fake, "I need to appreciate this."

My friends hear me on this: You are a loved child of the King. Right in that "funk" God is walking with you. Pour out your heart to Him. He can handle it. I promise.

daddy and son..

2011-01-21T01:23:00.000-05:00

Yes. I am a blessed woman.

I know. I get it.

C'mon be a follower..

2011-01-20T15:34:00.001-05:00

IF you aren't already.. it's time to become a follower.. you know you want to. (trying to use "the force").

A follower of my blog.

You see, so many of you visit but I have no link to follow you and your blog (if you blog) other than following that link. I would love for you to "follow" and then I have a great way to purpose to go to your blog..

so just go on over to the right side of this blog and click to follow..

gracias..

Be warned: mommy WILL tune you out..

2011-01-19T21:21:00.004-05:00

Do you ever have those days...

Moments in your day, where the audio in your home is too loud? Where the combination of all your chillins screaming, crying, fighting over legos, toddlers whining that they are "hungey" AS you are cooking dinner and a baby who is not happy whether you hold him or not.. it all becomes too much to bear?

Because, quite frankly, you just want to cook dinner in peace?

May I suggest that you invest in some super handy industrial quality "earmuffs."

This is how my hubby found me when he came home last night. And he cracked up. (and then took my picture).

It worked beautifully.

I could see the lips moving but nothing was coming out.

It was magical.

Photoshoot

2011-01-19T11:56:00.000-05:00

I asked my nephew if he'd let me do some pictures. Im so intimidated by outside lighting. But I will learn. One shot at a time. Here a few of my favs..

In which the 2 y.o goes to MDO.

2011-01-18T15:52:00.004-05:00

Let me set up the scenerio for ya.

It's 10 a.m. We have done breakfast, have gotten dressed, straightened up the house, just had a showing for the house and are sitting at the living room table to go over some phonics for school. Granted, this is supposed to be Jorge's school "stuff" but I have a baby crawling around my feet, a 4 yo trying to grab the letters off the table and a 2 yo that is yelling that it's "my tuuun."

At the moment that I put my head on the table (because the reality that the one child that is supposed to be reviewing the letters can't even hear his own thoughts to focus) I realize that something HAS gotta change.

I really don't have an issue with homeschooling. Teaching a kindergartener is not difficult. But wrangling three younger siblings WHILE trying to juggle school, the house and selling the house, well.. THAT is.

So I knew it was time.

Time to enroll Eva (the 2 y.o) in MDO. Isaac still takes a morning nap so we can do school while he sleeps. And Eva.. she can play and have someone that has her full attention and isn't telling her "no" all morning. well two mornings out of seven.

When Eva was born her older brothers went to MDO for three months. And I loved it. They loved it. It worked for everyone involved.

So, starting tomorrow (yes, they had an opening and it begins tomorrow).. Eva will go to MDO. Tonight she gets to go to Walmart and pick out her very own backpack (likely Tinkerbell or spiderman, it's a toss up).

And mommy, she gets to keep her sanity. ;-)

And Im sure that "little momma" will enjoy the time to make some GIRL friends to play "baby doll" with.

Yay! It's time for crib time!

2011-01-17T14:24:00.009-05:00

When it comes to kids (and having them or raising them) I have gotten two solid pieces of advice.

*(as it relates to having just had a baby)- Make sure you get a shower each day. No matter when.. at some point, no matter how tired you are.. it WILL make you feel so much better and halfway normal.

*(as it relates to raising children)- Make sure you establish crib time.

Oh how much I love the wisdom of both. Therefore, today I will show you crib time. It starts at the time a baby can sit up unassisted and has enough motor skills to grab a toy and/or crawl: generally by 8 months. sometimes before: depending on the child.

You take the precious lamb and place them in their crib with some fun toys that are obviously baby appropriate. And you build up time. If the first time you do it, it only lasts five minutes before baby is yelling at you: stretch it another five the next day. As with anything: consistency is the key. Here let me show you..

Jorge was my first one to test it out on. He LOVED crib time (as you can see). He would actually stay in there for an hour.. an HOUR people, happily playing with his toys and listening to music. Lots got done: a shower, laundry (dare I say: a rest on the couch while growing human baby #2.. gasp). It was heavenly.

Next was Alex (as shown in the, also handy, pack n play) for that social baby that just can NOT handle being by themselves no matter WHAT toy you put in there with them. I think Alex was good for about 40 minutes and then he was d.o.n.e. And be warned. If an older sibling is old enough to climb in there too, you WILL have to maintain a constant visual to make sure everything is safe. Eh hem.

Next we have "baby girl," aka Eva. Not surprisingly, she was less interested in "crib time" as her brothers were. Likely because she is a girl and we are just diva's that way. I think her top time was 20 minutes. But hey.. I'll take it.

And here we have numero quatro, Isaac. Who enjoyed his very first (of many) crib times today. Contrary to his facial expression in this picture, he very much enjoyed his crib time. But when I came in to take his picture, he was very much ready for me to pick him up. His first total time: 20 minutes. Not bad.

*it is also important to note that crib time is a great way to help a child (with many older siblings) to get some down time when he/she is way over-stimulated, but isn't sleepy. it gives them a great, contained place to play, without all the hoopin' and hollerin' going on around them.

well, that's it. I hope you've enjoyed my tutorial of sorts. Now.. lemme go see about crib time for my five and four year olds. ;-)

he eats what he can..

2011-01-16T15:00:00.001-05:00

No it's not depressing at all.. nary one bit.

2011-01-16T11:28:00.012-05:00

Okay maybe a little. . but in a healthy way. (um yes. you can be depressed in a healthy way).

I uploaded some of my old pics from my external hard drive and this is what I found:

I mean seriously?? Look at that face (mine.. not the baby). Not a shred of evidence that a baby had just been born two months prior. NONE.

Ahh.. yes. the beach. Remember having just one baby? I think my big toe could get in that skirt now.

bahaha.. those jeans. that shirt. I remember that shirt. I had it in college. it would definitely be a tube top now. (this pic was in Mexico while visiting my hubby's extended family).

Okay, so how can i have a "healthy depression" looking at those pics? Well because I understand that there are some great side effects to not looking so young or as slim anymore:

THING 1

THING 2

THING 3

THING 4

(you knew that was coming though, didn't you?).

Ode to Isaac..

2011-01-15T22:01:00.005-05:00

This angel is 8 months old. Unbelievable.

His royal fatness, chunk-a-monk, hoss..etc.. has my heart. Melts it daily.

it's obvious he has a healthy self esteem:

and because he is absolutely yummy.. I can NOT stop taking his picture..

and for the record.. because I was without a camera for three months of his life.. I am making up for lost time. That's all. ;-)

an evolution in babywearing..

2011-01-14T23:02:00.010-05:00

WHO is that YOUNG gal?? Here is where it all started: The baby bjorn, with my firstborn.

I realized very quickly (however, not quick enough) that thing was WAY over rated and very uncomfortable.. for me and (what appeared) my baby..

so then.. I borrowed a sling from my sister:

of course I didn't know that it was WAY too long for my torso.. but it was very much better than the bjorn. On an aside, you can fix the sling or get one that fits you accurately. I love slings!!

Then I moved to the wonderful Moby Wrap:

I love the Moby.. especially for those newborns. And it is so cozy. for both of us..

and then finally.. to what, i think, is the best thing I have EVER purchased: The Ergo Baby.

I will put in a plug.. you can do smaller babies in the Ergo (it comes with an attachment).. but I truly love the moby for new babies.

they are just so yummy snuggly.

what is your favorite carrier??

Gearing up...

2011-01-14T19:50:00.005-05:00

getting ready to make a comeback..

on the blog.

in the mean time.. this is what is keeping me busy..

and this..

(that'd be taking pictures.. not just Eva)

Nursing is the best..

2010-12-28T11:08:00.001-05:00

Even toddlers know that..

My new present..

2010-12-26T15:54:00.002-05:00

Nope.. not my daughter..

I got a new camera!

I am loving it. If only I could upload the instructions to my brain, directly. But i will have fun figuring it out along the way..

We are nuts. NUTS.

2010-12-22T23:24:00.001-05:00

Certifiable. And based on our love of "Photo Booth," it's obvious. Enjoy (at our expense).

Im supposed to learn something, right??

2010-12-19T15:54:00.003-05:00

I've turned another year older.

I'm now 33 years young.

And every year I gain, I get more and more introspective about my life. Not surprising. I know that as you get older you start to gain perspective that you don't always have when you are younger. So, just because I know you absolutely will NOT be complete until you know, here are some things I've been chewing on: (that was sarcasm, btw).

*people want to know what you think, but with the freedom to not have to think the same thing.

*It may be best to keep your mouth shut.

*It may be best to speak up.

*Knowing the difference of when to speak up and when to be quiet is governed by a very thin line. And you will spend the rest of your life trying to figure out that line.

*I do not need to try and control my kids and their emotions. But I can give consequences for their lack of control with them.

*teaching your kids that it okay to be angry at mommy or daddy, is very freeing. (but no, you can't call me names like "meany.").

*a lot of the things that I learned about my parenting style were legalistic, controlling behaviors that I myself was enslaved too. God's grace gives some great instruction in parenting. (and no, that doesn't mean my kids "run wild in rebellion.").

*It's okay to not be okay. It's okay to let others "not be okay." It's GREAT to admit, out loud, that you are not okay.

*life is a precious gift and no matter how difficult the day, the next one is typically a little bit easier.

that's all for now.

Shameless Plug! JUST DO IT!

2010-12-17T15:12:00.005-05:00

Time to put in a shameless plug.

My sister Mishka makes an adorable Origami Christmas ornament from the Christmas cards and photos that friends and family members send to you EVERY year. She does the work for you. You just send her your cards and she mails it back to you. And for a great price.

check out her Etsy page..

Mishka's Etsy Page Here.

also, check out her blog here!

My life just got way easier..

2010-12-16T20:05:00.002-05:00

It's been documented that I love my Moby wrap.. but my Isaac is quite the porker and i need a little extra support. To my rescue: The Ergo Baby Carrier.

He loves it!!

and so does she!!

In fact it holds up to 40 lbs so technically Jorge and Alex can get in it too.

It does a hip hold and a front hold. I seriously love it! I think every one should have one. it made cooking dinner so much easier tonight. I look forward to a long life with this thing!

My NEW Birth Blog!!

2010-12-15T15:19:00.001-05:00

"Sweet Birth" Doula Services is my new home for all things birth/doula!!

I will keep this blog for personal family life "stuff" and have the other blog for everything birth related! So be sure to hop on over and become a follower of that one too!

Rachel G.

SAHM meets BPWNET...

2010-12-06T21:29:00.002-05:00

Stay at home mom meets Big Passion With Not Enough Time..

Original, I know.

I have a huge passion for being a doula. A door that opened in ways and in a time in my life that is hard to comprehend sometimes.

I also have a major passion for being a stay at home mom.

I am having to learn it's okay to love both. But only one trumps the other. (thankfully, God is working out the kinks). And I know there will always be births. But there will not always be these years with my kids.

Not trying to compare the two. Just trying to allow myself the freedom to enjoy the doula work, but to also not let it consume me right now.

Make sense? No?

Didn't expect it to.. just thinking out loud.

Night. ;-P

Feeling the urge again..

2010-12-02T15:31:00.002-05:00

Well blog friends (if you are still out there..).. i am beginning to get the "blog" urge again.

I have been disconnected (intentionally) for a few months now and am starting to feel the pendulum swinging back toward the center. A balance is presenting itself (rather, has been in the works) and I can feel the desire to actually start writing again.

Things here in our world are "life as usual." Busy. But in a good way. In a way that means "I'd miss too much if I were spending as much time on the Net as I had in the past."

Today I took the kids to our church "drop in" nursery (you pay by the hour) and I went on an errand spree. I did three things in an hour and a half that would've taken me double that time if I'd had all four kiddo's with me. And in the process got my Christmas cards w/family letter stamped and mailed out and also got some Christmas gifts ordered. I also went to return something at the Galleria. I am just so thankful for the drop in nursery at our church. It has been such a blessing for me.

I have a few blog posts floating in my head so i look forward to typing them out. So stay tuned.. that is, if you are still there. ;-)

You might be a Pharisee if...

2010-11-09T15:38:00.002-05:00

You might be a Pharisee if:

http://christlifemin.org/feature_articles/You_Might_Be_a_Pharisee_If.pdf

A great list.

As of late, I have been trying to evaluate the messages I have received most of my life. A lot of which "outwardly appear righteous to men, but inwardly are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness." (Matthew 23:28).

I am a recovering Pharisee. Someone who, while thinking I was doing good, was actually distorting what God "actually" said. How does this happen? When you (in general) take something simple from God's word and add, expound and reinterpret for everyone else. It applies to many things. And it applies not just to holding others to that standard, but it exists when you are holding yourself to this standard.

There are too many examples to list. In fact, I'd rather not list them because it WILL step on toes and I do not want to get hate mail. But ask yourself: is there something in your life that you so cling to, a practice, conviction, or "rule of life" that, by it's definition, as you have defined it, is NOT found explicitly in the Word of God? Then please, dear friend, consider that it may be your truth, but not Gods.

this is my gang..

2010-10-15T14:04:00.000-04:00

and oh i love them..

Guilt Ridden Momma?

2010-10-13T20:16:00.006-04:00

* I am the one who wanted: all these kids, them so close, to stay home, to home school (etc.). Therefore, I need to "deal."

*Me time is selfish.

*My husband is too tired for me to ask for help.

*This is "my" job.

*I need to find the joy and not focus on the facts: *I am tired, I am overwhelmed, I feel like I'm drowning (etc.).

*Other mommas have: more kids than me, a smaller house, a harder time than me, an absent husband (etc).. so I need to buck up and "deal."

*My kids need me. All the time.

*My husband needs me. All the time.

*My house needs me. All the time.

________________________________________________

If you've hand ONE of those thoughts (or are like me and had all of them..every.day).. then guess what? you are a guilt ridden momma. And guess what: Guilt, is not from God. It's lies. All lies. And sadly, it's there to bring you to a slow, painful destruction.

Here is what I am learning. the TRUTH IS:

*I need to ask for help. God is the one who gave me *all these kids* and their spacing. but that does not mean that I can not take breaks. "Oh but the women of the Bible had 13 kids.." Yeah, and they also had servants. YOU do NOT have to be all, do all and serve all... TO THE DETRIMENT of yourself. I do not have to "buck up" and "suffer through." God's goal is not for coping. It's for healing. If you feel tired, overwhelmed and like you are drowning take that as a cue, RED FLAG that you need some "(insert name your here) Time." Not dropping your kids off at a friends so you can clean your house time, fold the laundry time, grocery shopping time.. some YOU TIME. The enemy (and even the Church, at times, or those in it) have sold a bag of lies that you are selfish to ask for time away. Time to have no responsibility but to sit/walk/fall asleep or whatever suits your fancy.

Your family will survive. Better yet, they will thrive because you are taking that time to regroup, recharge, re-energize. Coping means distraction: facebook, my friends, is coping. that is not YOU time. You time is defined as something that re-energizes you. Re-fuels you. What is that thing (apart from serving others) that you enjoy? That isn't part of a job. Part of a "responsibility," that you get excited about? If you are like me, it may take a while to think of what excites you.

You need to give yourself permission to WANT a break. Then you need to give yourself permission to MAKE it happen. Your family needs you to be at your best. And if you are hitting a brick wall.. that's not your best. You have to pray and ask God to show you what breaks you need. How many. Once a week for an hour or four hours. I don't know. That's between you and God.

Please know that God's plan is for you to get rest, comfort and peace EVEN NOW when you are in your season. NOT suffer through it. He came to give you life, and life abundantly. If you aren't feeling too abundant.. it's time to re-evaluate. And friends.. please do this before it's too late.

adios.

You are special..

2010-09-27T16:08:00.003-04:00

Hey blog friends.

you are probably wondering where i disappeared to. I guess it's been a bit of an internet sabbatical. I've had a lot of things on my plate and needed to unplug to be able to process my "stuff" and to hear that "still small voice."

I wanted to share a little bit of what I have been treading through.. if you watch the video below.. its a reading of the book "You Are Special" by Max Lucado.

I promise it's worth the 8 minutes. And gives an beautiful picture of what I am having to learn, have been learning and will constantly need to remember.

I will update again soon.

hopefully.

rg