Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Guilt Ridden Momma?

* I am the one who wanted: all these kids, them so close, to stay home, to home school (etc.). Therefore, I need to "deal."

*Me time is selfish.

*My husband is too tired for me to ask for help.

*This is "my" job.

*I need to find the joy and not focus on the facts: *I am tired, I am overwhelmed, I feel like I'm drowning (etc.).

*Other mommas have: more kids than me, a smaller house, a harder time than me, an absent husband (etc).. so I need to buck up and "deal."

*My kids need me. All the time.

*My husband needs me. All the time.

*My house needs me. All the time.

If you've hand ONE of those thoughts (or are like me and had all of then guess what? you are a guilt ridden momma. And guess what: Guilt, is not from God. It's lies. All lies. And sadly, it's there to bring you to a slow, painful destruction.

Here is what I am learning. the TRUTH IS:

*I need to ask for help. God is the one who gave me *all these kids* and their spacing. but that does not mean that I can not take breaks. "Oh but the women of the Bible had 13 kids.." Yeah, and they also had servants. YOU do NOT have to be all, do all and serve all... TO THE DETRIMENT of yourself. I do not have to "buck up" and "suffer through." God's goal is not for coping. It's for healing. If you feel tired, overwhelmed and like you are drowning take that as a cue, RED FLAG that you need some "(insert name your here) Time." Not dropping your kids off at a friends so you can clean your house time, fold the laundry time, grocery shopping time.. some YOU TIME. The enemy (and even the Church, at times, or those in it) have sold a bag of lies that you are selfish to ask for time away. Time to have no responsibility but to sit/walk/fall asleep or whatever suits your fancy.

Your family will survive. Better yet, they will thrive because you are taking that time to regroup, recharge, re-energize. Coping means distraction: facebook, my friends, is coping. that is not YOU time. You time is defined as something that re-energizes you. Re-fuels you. What is that thing (apart from serving others) that you enjoy? That isn't part of a job. Part of a "responsibility," that you get excited about? If you are like me, it may take a while to think of what excites you.

You need to give yourself permission to WANT a break. Then you need to give yourself permission to MAKE it happen. Your family needs you to be at your best. And if you are hitting a brick wall.. that's not your best. You have to pray and ask God to show you what breaks you need. How many. Once a week for an hour or four hours. I don't know. That's between you and God.

Please know that God's plan is for you to get rest, comfort and peace EVEN NOW when you are in your season. NOT suffer through it. He came to give you life, and life abundantly. If you aren't feeling too abundant.. it's time to re-evaluate. And friends.. please do this before it's too late.



Greta said...

Ohhh, good post, Rach.

Sandy said...


Sarah said...

Thank you, Rachel, for:
1) letting me know that your life comes with these thoughts, too


2) encouraging me that taking breaks/asking for/accepting help is called for at this stage in the game

I feel your pain (or whatever:) and I'm right there with you.

Thanks for posting, too, because I was kinda getting curious.

Cindy said...

Thank you for this! I am the mother of 5 and am currently drowning! Just nursed the baby to sleep after a worship meeting in our home, today feeling guilty for not having the laundry done for my son this morning. :(