Thursday, October 29, 2009

Birth Pet Peeve #42

Okay, while I don't have an official "Pet Peeve" list or anything, I'm sure I could come up with at least 42 items of frustration.  

However, I do have one that has been on my mind not only because I have been hearing it "happening" to other mothers I know, but I have also experienced it first hand.  

First, let me ask you a question?  Would you ever assume that your very well educated and experienced OB would be able to tell you when he/she thought you might conceive?  

Have you ever asked your OB when he/she thought you might become great with child?
Have you ever had an OB tell you, without your asking, when they thought you might conceive?  
I'm going to take a big guess that the answer is NO.  Why would you, right?  It's not like they can predict these things.  

HOWEVER.. fast forward to 39 weeks of pregnancy and all the sudden you and said OB are convinced that if they said, "you are going to have this baby by this weekend, I'm sure of it" that now all the sudden they have supernatural powers that have been hidden up until now.  

You might want to ask them to purchase a lottery ticket for you too, while you're at it.  

Okay, I jest.  But here is my frustration: 

NO ONE, except the LORD HIMSELF, knows when that baby is coming.  Can you guess? Sure that's why its called and ESTIMATED due date (EDD).  That is NOT an eviction day: either the baby comes on that day or else.  

Besides the fact that no doctor is that smart to "know" when baby is coming they also do not "know" how long a labor will last.  

With my third child I walked into my OB appointment at 37 weeks, with no contractions and yet, when my beloved doctor checked me I was a whopping 5 cm's.  He was in complete shock.  Of course he started asking me if I had had any contractions of any intensity (as if I could forget what a contraction feels like) and whether I had any bloody show..etc.  I told him.. "nope. I've just been taking my Evening primrose oil everyday."   Well the next thing out of his mouth was, "Well, Rachel, I think you will have this baby by the end of the weekend."  Of course, I laughed thinking "how silly."  

But what happened next was a surprise , even to me.  I got in my car.. called my hubby, my sister and every other friend I have to tell them "guess what?  I'm 5cm's dilated.. and the doc thinks I'll have the baby by Sunday."  NEVERMIND the fact that I knewI had been taking EPO, this was my third child, I had NOT ONE contraction and dilation can happen even before labor officially "begins."  
Nope. None of that mattered.  My doctor is knowledgeable.  He's seen women in labor for years.  He's delivered countless babies.. surely he knows a labor about to begin when he sees it.  


I stayed 5 cm's for another week.  In fact, at my next appointment (when I hadn't had that baby by SUNDAY), he came in and what did he say?  "I am so shocked to see you here!"  Why?  Because you now realize that with birth nothing is guaranteed and that you can not predict the future?  I then told him how disappointed I was when Monday morning came and I didn't have that baby and I begged him to never, never, never, never, ever, no matter how much you have the urge to "encourage" a mom, please, please, DO NOT tell her something that you can not, in fact, guarantee. I was dead serious and I believe he actually considered my words.  

Here is the point.  You need to consider every single gestation not in terms of 40 weeks but in terms of 42 weeks.  Even ACOG standards consider postdate to be 42+ weeks.  Meaning, even the "holy grail" of medical standards says you don't need to induce until 42+ weeks, unless there is medical indication.  

Point being:  40 weeks is not the eviction day, its the estimated due date. And when you will begin labor is unknown.  The AVERAGE gestation for first time moms is 41.5 weeks.  Average means some go before, and some go after that.  

And whatever you do.. if your doctor tells you that supposed encouraging info "I think it's going to happen this week (or enter day/time here)" remind them (and yourself) that NO MAN knows the future and that we would call that prophecy, and in the days of  Old Testament Law... if your prophecy didn't come true you were killed.  

Not that I'm saying a hormonal, frustrated, very pregnant woman should consider killing.. even if you want to.  

Thursday, October 22, 2009

in case you were wondering..

we are still here.  

boys are doing great.  Eva is becoming miss independent.. which makes me sad. 

The baby is still growing in my belly.  And it apparently has HUGE problems with my favorite guilty pleasure: Taco Bell.  Yes, I ate that "junk."  but about three hours later I threw it up and therefore can guarantee that I will not be eating it again for a very loooooong time.  The same thing happened to another food item when I was preggers with Eva.  

We are going camping next weekend for Reformation weekend.  Annual trip.  Lots of fun.  Last year I had an almost two month old baby.  This year I have an almost three month baby (in the womb).. how's that for irony.  

Getting excited about my own birth since I've been meeting with mommies recently about their own births.  so that's fun.  

well i will stop with the update.  My sister Mishka is on her way to my house and I still need to do some cleaning.. just for the house to be destroyed by six kids 7 yrs old and under.  fun times!! 

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Forced post

Just so you know, I am forcing myself to make this post.  Almost in the same way that I have to force myself to eat food these days.. or force myself to do anything productive at all.  

I seem to like Facebook better these days because it takes way less energy to do a status update than to type out a blog post.  Laziness at it's finest, folks. 

I don't want to come across as "that" pregnant lady so I will try to keep it positive in giving the updates going on in our world.. for those that care. 

1. I am 10 weeks preggers and doing better.  But I say that with caution. I still am nauseous but it has gotten a little better.  Now the fatigue has set in and I am so off schedule these days that I just can't dwell on it.  I know it's temporary.

2.  My boys are beating each other up.  I have banned all movies in this house that so much as hint at fighting.  Even if it's against monsters. I am so SICK.AND.TIRED of them not understanding that, while they may wrestle with each other, they may NOT do it to other children.  

3.  On that note, Jorge got tag teamed at Pump it Up yesterday for that very reason.  He kept picking on three boys his same age and size and I kept warning him to leave them alone, or else.  And well.. or else happened.  they all got tired of it.. at the same time.  He was on the bottom of the pile and it made him cry.  What did I do?  the boy had to sit in time out while I explained what just happened and why it happened.  Hopefully, he learned his lesson. 

4.  I am going to be getting pretty busy with births come December.  I have one a month until I birth my baby in May.. well I have possibly (sigh) three in March.  I may have to seriously reconsider that!  Tonight I am meeting with a couple that was referred to me by Greta (a mom who made it all look easy during her own birth).  Thanks Greta.  

5.  I am laughing at how predictable I am as a pregnant woman.  I only truly love the second trimester.  The first is covered in nausea and fatigue and the last trimester is covered in feeling huge and unable to move about easily.  Oh and fatigue.  So I guess I got a three month window where our lives will resemble some sense of order and then its back to blah land.  ;-) Am I the only one like this?  Wait, don't be that mom that tells me how wonderful you feel throughout your ENTIRE pregnancy.  I might throw up. 

6.  Baby girl is adorable.  Just thought I'd throw that in.  She says a few things but I especially love that she calls her baby doll "baba."  And she loves that little doll.  Eva was also in the 5th percentile at her last checkup.. she is such a petite little thing.  

7.  #4 had a heartbeat of 175 at my appt last week.. still too early to determine gender.. but I do remember Eva's being really high  in the beginning.. (sigh) we shall wait and see.  Either way we will be thrilled to pieces.  

Okay that's enough numbers and chit chat.  I must go lay down while it is quiet in the house.  ;-)