only it probably didn't come across that way?
Let me set the stage for you.
My precious family of six were at the park. I was watching Eva play with another little girl her age and noticed that the little girls' mom was sitting down next to a baby car seat. Assuming there was a "new" baby in it (I saw little bity toes peeking out from under a blanket) I asked "how old is your baby?"
The mother, very sheepishly said, "ehem.. 4 days old."
"Four days??!!" I asked. "Four days? Well, you don't know the rule do you?"
"What rule?" she asked. I'm sure very excited to hear my OPINION. (I know, right?? geez).
"Queen for a week. Princess for two weeks. A queen dictates from the bed. A princess, from the couch." I replied.
"Well I've just been in the bed for so long I had to get out," she said.
Okay friends.. I wish I could, at that point, or should have, gone on and on about how cute her baby was. That's what I (the RANDOM stranger) should've done. But my "momma bear/psycho doula" persona came out instead. She then said, "well, it's just that I had to have a c-section and I'm not allowed to do as much so i needed to get out. But I actually feel much better than I did after my daughter was born."
Okay here is where I stepped over the line completely. Poor momma, I said "C-section. You are out 4 days post-partum after major abdominal surgery?? well, you feel fine. . while medicated??"
GASP! did you just suck all the air out of the room? Or did your mouth just fly open? Mine did just typing it.
What I was trying to say was.. if you are on pain meds it can mask what is actually happening to your body. If you want to know how well you're healing.. stop taking them and see what happens. But here is the kicker.. she didn't ASK for my opinion.
I had become, in that moment, the annoying know-it-all that fails to understand "unasked for advice is the same as criticism."
So, dear sweet new momma that I unintentionally bulldozed at the park.. I should know your name, but i was more concerned with being your mommy/conscience that I didn't ask, please forgive me. If I could go back, I would just say how precious your baby was and wish you a speedy recovery...
not at the park.
(look, I'm a slow learner).