Thursday, February 21, 2008

239!

No people that number does not represent how many days I have left in this pregnancy.  It was my "score" on my blood glucose test today.  YIKES!  You know the one that I was not going to take.  Granted, my bs numbers would not normally be that high since I don't have that much sugar in one sitting, ever!  But it is obvious that I DO have gestational diabetes again (third time, baby).  Right now I will do the usual "diabetic diet"  until eventually  my pancrease goes on complete vacation and then insulin it is.  This happened around 14 weeks with Miguel.  We'll see.  

How do I feel about all this?  I need my "day" of sad frustration that God answered in a way that I did not want and by tomorrow I will be once again rallying "to God be the Glory!"  I know God has the Glory now.. but by tomorrow I will be "feelin' it."  The reality of this time around is harder just because my endocronologist told me that he (before this pregnancy) feels very strongly that after one of these pregnancies I am going to keep the diabetes.  Maybe not the insulin dependence but definately type 2.  I have my perspective: i understand this is not inoperable lung cancer we are dealing with.  However, its is daunting to think that 1) I could deal with this day in, day out for the rest of my life and even have trouble with side effects and complications later and 2) that, since this is auto immune (my mother had and died from Lupus) that I could pass that gene on to one of my own children.  Even though Lupus and Diabetes are both "livable" diseases (That was not the case 20-30 years ago when my mother had it), the risks involved over long periods of time can be saddening.  

Anyway... God is in control.  He has His purposes.  I only pray that I will honor Him with my attitude and thoughts about all of this.  Besides He has given me two beautiful and healthy babies even with all that insulin.  We will pray for the same this time too! 

8 comments:

Missy said...

You were supposed to throw up and passout! ;)

Well, I am sorry about the diabetes, but I love your outlook!

We'll be praying and I still owe you a meal! :)

-C said...

So sorry about the diabetes ... and thankful for your husband who encouraged you to do the test. Hang in there, girl!

Graced said...

So sorry. This is a problem that runs in our family and it is very frustrating.

JenB said...

Be glad you found out now! Take good care of yourself! You'll get through it and be as good as ever before ya know it!

Dollar General said...

SHUCKS! I thought about you a lot today! Did you get a sonogram? I want to see more pictures of that baby!

I'm with your Hubby! I'm glad you went ahead and took the test!

Kim said...

I'm so sorry; that is pretty frustrating. Maybe you won't keep it after this pregnancy. I hope not, but you have a great attitude.

Rachel Garcia said...

FYI.. my husband said he was sorry for "requesting that I take the test" because I felt pretty awful all day long. he even said he feels that one day research will be done that counter-acts that that test is a good idea. I had no symptoms on Wednesday when I would eat my food... none. and now I do. Explain that one! only after I take all that sugar did that happen. Needless to say, he said last night, "we won't be doing that one again. sorry babe."

thought you guys should know that.

Marsha said...

Where have I been? Somehow I missed this post.
I'm so sorry to hear about this. A couple of my pregnant teens have had that as well. It always adds a little more stress to the pregnancy.

I'll be praying for you!