Friday, May 22, 2009

Adoption is like a box of chocolates..

Well at least the cashier at Wal-mart thinks so.  

Again,  I was asked if we are "done" having kids.  As soon as I mention that we are praying that it's not the end of kids for us and that in fact, we are hoping to adopt.. she says (with shock) "Why?  I mean, adopting is like reaching your hand in a bag and pulling out.. well you don't know what you're gonna get."  

To which I said, "well when we pop out kids ourselves, we don't know what we are gonna get either.  The truth is that God is bigger than anything that we could or couldn't do for our kids, biological or not."  

She didn't have anything to say to that but then told me that her sister has eight kids.  And the cashier just "ain't about to have eight kids herself."  Then I told her that I don't think it matters how many you have as long as you realize that they are a gift from the Lord and to be happy with the ones you have.  And that not everyone is meant to have a large family.  

I don't know this lady.  I don't know if she is a follower of Jesus Christ, so I can understand how a non-believer doesn't understand the beauty of adoption and how God's heart is to care for the orphans.  But sadly, the shocking responses we've gotten over our decision to adopt (or at the very least, to pray about it), have not all come from non-believers.

A good bit have come from believers.  We should know better.  God adopted us and He knew EXACTLY what he was getting, and YET He still did it.  

What are your reasons for not being "comfortable" with adoption (I've heard a good many): 
1.  Don't know what your going to get?  what issues a child may have.
2.  They look different than the rest of the family.  That may harm them latter in life. 
3.  We have so many needy children here in the states (targeted at those who adopt internationally). 

Lets consider those.  Come, let us reason together.  

1.  Don't know what you are going to get or what issues a child may have.  
I don't know about your god, but the God of the Bible is bigger than anything that can happen in this life.  And He promises not only can He restore what the locusts have eaten, but that His grace is sufficient and His power is perfected in weakness!  If you refuse one of these children on that basis, you are saying in effect that the Gospel can not work for them.  That their issues are bigger than what God can deal with.  Friends do not get me wrong... to say that statement above, you need to search your heart and understand that YOU may not be willing to work with that child, but the Lord Jesus Christ is.  

2.  They look different than the rest of the family and that may harm them later in life. 
oh the joy of knowing that God does not care about our looks (except for modesty, of course).  With all do respect, lets weigh this one.. which would harm a child more:  looking different in his family but being loved and accepted for who He is as an image bearer of the One true God and finding a home and family all his own OR wandering the streets, orphanage or hopping from home to home in our broken foster care system all because someone was uncomfortable that he wouldn't fit in with the way their family looked?  You tell me which one is harder to deal with. 

3. We have so many needy children here in the states (targeted at those who adopt internationally).
Yes, there are so many orphans everywhere that need homes.  But as my friend Megan (mom of three adopted children) said, "well yes there are kids in the states, but they are sitting in a foster home with basic felt needs met.   Children overseas and are very often sitting in their own feces."  No other words needed on that one.  

Friends, please don't misunderstand me, I know that God speaks to each family individually.  But do not be mistaken, God's word says this :

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." (James 1:27). 

Now how your family decides to "look after" them is a matter of prayer for your family, be it financial support to those wanting to adopt, or ministries that care for orphans, missions trips that visit orphans or adopting an orphan into your family.  The point is this:  It is something that we all should have a part in, especially those that bear the name of Christ: Christ-ones. Christians.   

grace to all of you.. 


Greta said...

Rachel, you put into words quite well some great points. I have always had a desire to adopt which, when voiced, has been met with skepticism and opposition - even from those who HAVE adopted.

Having children, biological or not, brings with it all kinds of potential responsibilities, worries and challenges but it also brings all kinds of joy, blessing and excitement!

Amber said...

Rachel, thanks for sharing--we are considering adoption ourselves, for many of those reasons. Adoption is such a beautiful picture of the gospel. I'm not sure if we'll go domestic or international, but we are open to either one, and are praying over the next 2-3 years for the Lord to lead us to the right child.

Laura Pierce said...

I am glad you are open to God's heart for adoption. Have you heard of the Shepherd's Crook? Its a web site that helps match kids with special need (huge range) wtih families, many are sibling pairs. Also, Uganda is one of the least expensive and shortest waits (as little as 6 mo), but you have to be in country longer (a month or more)....

Tina Ogden said...

i love to hear of your conversations at walmart! miss you!

Natalie said...

Oh Poo. So people actually have opinions about children that don't come from your own womb? Good thing we don't consult others on how many blesings we'll have. 3 of mine wouldn't be here if that were the case.
I pray we eventually have the opportunity to adopt. The more the merrier!

Anonymous said...

I am just now seeing this post. Love it. So honored to call you my friend. xoXO