Gotta love that grammar. I am an emotional person. I can, at times, be a little high in my expectations of my relationships with my peers. As you may well know about me, I am very outgoing and I love to meet new people. However, I have only a few close friends. I have many people that I love to connect with and hang out with (when the opportunity arises), but i have very few friends that know me deeply and still want to be my friend.
Im not trying to play the martyr. I know, I have a sin nature and sometimes my personality or my views can be a bit much for some. Those are generally the people that associate from a distance. Occasional get togethers, etc. But my true, true friends are the ones who know me well enough to give me the benefit of the doubt and love me unconditionally. I can probably name five. (besides family).
In the course of life, there are times where fellowships are strained and I truly believe only the strong (deep rooted friendships) survive. (amen to that my honk-honk friend..you know who you are..we are a testimony to that one for shizel). But then there are times where friendships that were growing somehow come to a halt and start to dwindle until it just fizzles out. Why this happens is multifaceted. I don't know about you, but I have experienced this a few times and it always breaks my heart. Because I have this high expectation that I want everyone to be my friend and that is just impossible. I am going to annoy the fire out of some people or for whatever reason their desire for a deeper, less superficial relationship is not what they want.
This brings me to the point of this post. Last night Big Jorge and I are laying in bed and I am pouring out my heart about one such situation. As I am talking, he is listening patiently and truly trying to empathize with me. I also, as I am talking, realize how incredibly hard it must be to live with such an emotional person (granted most of this is brought on because of my pregnancy). Im lamenting to him about how difficult it is to realize that a friendship I thought I had looks to be almost extinct. (not you honk-honk! lol). He listens to me and comforts and then we go to bed.
As I wake up this morning I am comforted but because of a different realization. One that I have had so often before and of course I have to communicate it, again, to my dear sweet husband.
Me: Honey, I just want you to know how awesome it is for me to know that no matter who I lose touch with over the years, or how many people change their minds about me, you always love me and you are truly my best friend. No matter the good the bad and the ugly. Even though Im emotional sometimes.
Him: Sometimes?? (*wink*)
Me: Thanks. okay. Emotional alot. Its just awesome to know that you ain't goin' nowhere.
Him: Only in your dreams. (now this is a funny line since during pregnancy I dream he cheats on me).
Me: That's hilarious. Seriously. thank you for loving me unconditionally. All of me.
Him: (He grabs me and pulls me close) and says, "I do and I will."
Now tell me that ain't a good man.