Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Heavy heart.

Recovery time for Jorge until the diabetes went away: 3 weeks. 

Recovery time for Alex until the diabetes went away: 6 weeks.  

"Rachel, after one of these pregnancies your going to end up keeping this illness.  And there is a high chance it will be insulin dependent too.  Not to mention what it is doing to your body, that we don't know about yet, while pregnant." -quote from my endocrinologist. 

Then there is research like this that shows that:

"The 8-year postpartum diabetes risk was 52.7% (130 diabetic cases of 302)" and sadly, " Risk was increased in women with autoantibodies to GAD and/or insulinoma antigen-2 (adjusted hazard ratio 4.1; P < style="font-weight:bold;">women who required insulin during pregnancy (4.7; P <>30 kg/m2 (1.5; P = 0.04), and women with more than two prior pregnancies (2.5; P = 0.02). Women without these risk factors had a postpartum diabetes risk of 14% by 8 years, and risk rose incrementally to 96% by 8 years in autoantibody-positive women."

So that pretty much sums up..me!  The risk is great.  So whats the big deal about having diabetes with insulin dependence for the rest of your adult life?  Well, there are lot's of risks to having diabetes : such as blindness, heart disease, nerve disease and kidney disease.  

My point in all this is to say that I want to be here for my children.  I want to be healthy and alive for as long as possible.  And with each pregnancy I take the risk of increasing my chances of keeping diabetes.  Not only that, but I can not take the risk of keeping the diabetes and then getting pregnant again.  There are more risks associated with that decision than would be worth the risk to my body.  

All this has led Jorge and I to decide that Eva will be our last "natural" child.  Through lots of prayer we have decided that I am going to get a tubal ligation.  Well, actually Jorge feels that he would rather get "tied" because he isn't so sure about the hormonal risks associated with a tubal.  Im convinced that I would rather be the one to get the surgery.  Anyway, this is a painful decision for me to make.  But not one that I feel guilty about.  I know what it's like to grow up without a mom because of medical issues that took her to early (she too was told not to have anymore children..then got preggers with me.  11 years later she died).  And I do not want to even travel remotely close to that road.  I know the Lord is in control of the number of days I have.  I just want to make the best decision for ME and for the circumstances.  

Who knows why I am sharing this on the world wide web.  I guess because I just wanted to vent.  Its a sad thought.  No more birth.  But I can't wait, should the Lord allow, for us to bless another little baby into our family that would otherwise not have one (through adoption).  Just because I may not birth them doesn't mean I can't still get our soccer team!  lol. 

So I would ask for you to pray specifically that God would see fit to keep me from postpartum diabetes.  That my numbers would return to normal quicker than they had with the boys.  God's will be done for sure, but if possible that that cup would pass from me.  

 

8 comments:

Jaci Spain said...

Oh wow! I know that must have been a really hard decision for you:( I plan to do the same after our next child but I know you have always really wanted 4. I definitely will be praying for God to give you a peace about it. Hang in there!

Rachel Garcia said...

thanks jaci.. Lord willing we will still have 4 (or more) but just through adoption. I truly am excited about that possibility. Especially since adoption (albiet adult) has been such a big blessing in my own life.

Kim said...

I'm so sorry...

Please, let me encourage to rethink a tubal ligation. I know of so many (incredible amounts-including my mother and mother-in-law) who had countless problems due to their tubal ligations. My mother made my sister and I swear that we would not have one (she endured pain for the better part of a decade-until her early thirties when she had a total hysterectomy-she was 32 years old). I have many friends (including people you know) who have had many difficulties that they attribute to a tubal ligation.

I tell you this not to be a source of discouragement, but very much out of concern for your well-being. I know that this is an extremely difficult decision and I will not say anything else about it.

Much love.

Rachel Garcia said...

kim.. i don't mind you saying anything else about it. ;-)

do you know anything about difficulties with the vasectomy?

Kim said...

I have heard of difficulties with vasectomies, too. Christy Donovan (David Donovan's wife) sent me an e-mail telling of a friend of hers who's husband had some bad effects from it. However, that is the only one I've heard of. I would research it.

We are doing more of an old-fashioned method.;) Allergies to latex and becoming a total witch on birth control pills can make you think of creative alternatives.

Do you have to do something permanent?

Rachel Garcia said...

Kim--

I have been doing Natural Family Planning for Four years. I have had four pregnancies in that time. lol. I am a AVID believer that NFP works. you just have to have a husband who cooperates. two of the four pregnancies I knew I was fertile.. my husband was just too far along in the moment to care. His choice=two babies. The other two pregnancies were a complete shock! and were bc of my lack of discipline to be regimented. Therefore that resulted in Alex and the miscarriage.

All that to say, yes I do believe something permanent is the solution for us. I don't have a strong track record with NFP and the risk is too high to take that chance. Does that make sense? AND. And no I do not want birth control bc i have not seen one on the market that doesn't have the abortificiant agent in it. thats why i got off of them to begin with.

NotJustLaura said...

Such a hard decision to make ... you're in my prayers.

Missy said...

I am probablly one of the friends that kim is talking about with the tubal. Email if you want to chat about it.
Either way, I know it is not an easy decision and I will be praying for you :)