Friday, May 23, 2008

Perspective..

Well I was all ready to vent on this post about the frustration that I am having with Jorgito and his reverting back to pooping in his pull-up, no matter how many times he gets disciplined for it. He did it twice this morning in the span of an hour. Yet he will not go on the potty as he once had. I started this process March 24th. He turns 3 on June 10th.

Anyway, my attitude toward my child was less than compassionate. That is until I hopped over to Marsha's blog where she had a link to a blog for Steven Curtis Chapman. If you don't know, his 5 year old daughter Maria was killed wednesday when the family SUV struck her in their driveway. There is a video posted on that blog that just reminded me that life is more than frustration at these little issues.

My husband came home from work two days ago telling me that one of his coworkers went to the doctor that day (Wednesday) to get checked out because he didn't feel well recently. Turns out he has cancer. Yesterday Jorge told me that the guy found out (on Thursday) that it is Stage 4, started in his colon, spread to his liver and is now in his lungs. If he is "lucky", he will have weeks.

Big Jorge just kept saying, "all day, when I would start to think I was having a bad day i would remember him. He doesn't know how long he has to live." Now that's perspective.

I am thankful that the Lord helps me remember these people who are suffering through these horrible losses. I truly want my heart to be changed to add more compassion to my daily battles and see them as joys. Knowing that I do not know what today holds.

However, if you do have any wisdom as it relates to my potty training issue, please feel free to fill me in. Although, I think it would be more helpful if you have a son who went through the same thing. I just think girls and boys are too different in this area. Girls seem to catch on a lot quicker. Im sure its a struggle to potty train them too, but I think I need a mom who has been there done that.. with boys.

Thanks all..
and please pray for the Chapman family and for Jorge's coworker.

7 comments:

Graced said...

Take a deep breath!

Easy to say since I'm not cleaning big boy poop that deserves to be in the potty!

M was almost 3 1/2 before he was potty trained. No matter how much I fussed, disciplined and motivated he did not do it one day before he was good and ready.

Be encouraged. He will not be much longer. Extend him grace to get this right. Let him experience consequences instead of discipline for his actions. He is big enough to help clean up and to understand that you just can't "go to the park" because that is for big boys that poop in the potty... or whatever works.

-C said...

My guys were so different. Sam was hard and Zach was easier than taking a deep breath. :) Hopefully Alex will be the redemption for this season. ;) Anyway, ditching the pullups altogether at naps helped us ... since the only time he had them on was at nap and he would hold the poop until he had it on. I think he had figured out that I wouldn't get AS upset if he did it in a pullup instead of his undies throughout the day.

Also, a friend had a toy sent to him from amazon. I put a 1, 2, 3 on the outside of the box -- he didn't know what it was. In hindsight, it was neat to tell him that Jeremy was so proud of him and knew he could do it so he sent him something already in the mail. A weekend or so later, we were taking the youth on a camping trip and used that as incentive ... only big boys who use the potty can sleep in a tent. (mind you, he had an accident while we were there ... but he loved the fact that he got to go somewhere withot Zach).

Btw, S was 3 1/2 and Z was 2 1/2 ... within 6 months we were diaper free ... I couldn't believe my luck.

Hope something I babbled about gives you some wisdom on how to topply the next hurdle ... you're almost there.

-C said...

Oh, the numbers on the box were circled as he made consecutive poops in the potty. S is totally motivated by gifts ... loves new toys, so this worked for him.

Missy said...

I'm sorry Rachel.. That can be a frustrating parental issue. And It's also frustrating to go throught the feelings like "so and so just lost there child or so and so is going through this" and want to cherish every second, but also knowing that you are entrusted with these little people to raise them up in a Godly way. You are obviously a very deliberate Mommy and very hands on and involoved with your children. Which is awesome and how it should be! You are also very focused on the spritual and discipline aspect of all of these parenting situations, which is also as it should be. All that to say, you are the one that knows your child and knows if this is a defiant act or an act of just not getting it yet.
Either way, taking the pullups away is the best thing you can do. There is "comfort" in the pullups. I bet if he was in constant big boy underwear this would end soon. And I agree with Graced, him having to help in the clean up will make a big differance.
Oh, and don't mistake this as a boy/girl issue. Your 2nd boy may have it down pat and your girl on the way could be the most frustrating potty trainer of all.
Kids are all unique and potty training is no exception!
Hang in there girl! He won't be 25years old still pooping in his pants :)

Rachel Garcia said...

thanks.. ladies for the great ideas and encouragement. I guess the biggest thing for me to decide is pull-ups/diapers. He WILL go pee when I take him (not him telling me) but the poop happens in the pull-up (once in the undies). I basically put him in a pull-up when we go somewhere. and then take him to pee pee while out. but he will not tell me ahead of time about the poop.

i've had him in undies before and him pee in those too. the frustrating thing is that when i started this back in March (24th) he did great for three weeks and told me ahead of time and everything. even when he had to go poop. Now i get nothing.

very frustrating. but i will back off and give him some time. I'd hope to have this done by the time Eva got here at the end of the summer, but that expectation may have been too high.

imagetts said...

I know a friend who went to the Thrift Store and bought a toy that she knew her son would love. She placed it by the potty. The only time that he was allowed to play with the new toy was while he was on the potty. After many successful times using the potty he was allowed to take it to his room.

As for big Jorge's friend: My friend Beth's BEST friend Stephanie was diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon Cancer recently. Started out not feeling well. She had recently received some vaccinations for an upcoming Mission Trip this summer. The cancer had already spread to all layers and both lobes of the liver. She is currently receiving aggressive chemo. She has a web page thanking God for each day and giving Him all the glory. Stephanie has never been married and has no kids. I am sure that
she would love to be changing a poopy pull up:)
It gives me a reality check and puts life into perspective.

Natalie said...

ROAR! That is me right now having the same potty issues with JT(3 and a half).
He is at least going potty for the "important stuff" if you know what I mean. But still, even though for a week he did it right, he pees in the pull-up.
We actually back stepped bc we were out one day and John was like, "Just poop in your pull up JT, there are no bathrooms here."
That was a BIG mommy and daddy "discussion" later.
I don't even want to start on the 2year old until this baby gets here.
Am I horrible???
Any way, just sympathizing with you.

Natalie