Random thoughts..

1.  Cooler weather secures my spending ways as I will gladly keep buying new bags of socks to replace the ones I refuse to look for.  Four kids and missing socks= insanity.

2.  You may call me a feminist if your definition is "one who looks on the division of labor in the home as 'see a need, fill a need- regardless of your anatomy.'"

3.  I am evermore convinced that there is no such thing as "getting caught up on laundry."  We are all "behind" at least 4-10 loads at any given point in time.

4.  You are not classified as a "mexican restaurant" if I ask you for cilantro for my taco's and you say you don't have any.

5.  I can see that a big cause for so much tension among Christians is because some seem to take some issues way more seriously than others'.  And feel that those "others" need to feel the same way as they do.  Creates a terrible outcome over and over again.

6.  The GNO (girls night out) is not about "getting away to refresh my spirit so that I can come home more calm, relaxed and ready to lovingly approach my children."  No, the GNO is solely to keep me from snapping on my children or as my sister M said "one more step away from the looney bin."  It does not, I repeat, does not mean I will come back a different person than when I left, it means I will delay the evolving into the monster I don't want to become if I were to stay.

7.  I hate that counting calories doesn't work like rollover minutes: the ones I didn't consume today can be used tomorrow.  Especially since I plan on not working out AND eating a ginormous cheeseburger.

8.  My kids made a song about butts being on fire.  I am trying to remember that they will embarrass their own children one day.  THEN it will be cute.

9. Will it be awkward when I get to heaven and see some of my legalist brothers and sisters in Christ eating dinner with people they NEVER thought would "make it?"

 10.  I think I may lose more friends over my support for Rachel Held Evans than my participation in Halloween.

We like to think we are WILD!

So my hubby signed us up for the Warrior Dash.  We ran it. It was muddy.  It was cold.  And it was completely AWESOME!

Here we are just starting out.. a mile in, is my guess.  We were still dry. 

We are no longer dry.  Just had to swim through that creek behind us, walk across the platform and jump back in and swim to the bank.  It was cold. 

Did I mention there was fire? It was awesome.  Although, I didn't realize there was a camera. 

My husband, on the other hand, performed nicely for the camera.  I love that man. And his amazing legs. 

And to finish we had to swim under barbwire through a pool of mud water.  Here we are about to cross the finish line.  3.1 miles of pure fun (and insanely steep muddy hills). 

I highly recommend finding a race near you.  I was very thankful that my sweet husband decided to race "with"me because he surely could have finished at least 5 minutes before the time we had.  But even with our slower race time (hello 10 obstacles), we finished in the top 21% out of 4800 racers for the day.  

Pure awesome!

Next up for me: my Half-marathon race in Pensecola on November 11th!  I am super excited!! 13.1 miles.. here I come!

My parenting book: "Im just as messed up as you."

Recently, I had a friend ask me for book referrals for parenting books.

I cringe at the thought.  

Oh I know, to some this is a shock. I used to live by making all my opinions known and most of them were well versed in LAW.  That means that they generally left you feeling completely lacking.  And not because I had arrived as a parent. I just set up this standard that was pretty difficult to reach.  For myself included. But that didn't stop me from being a good little pharisee.  Because remember, Pharisee's can't see how they themselves don't measure up because they are too busy watching everyone else.. and making the rules.

So back to cringing.

Of course I haven't read any books recently on parenting.  And I haven't read any in the past that I would EVER recommend.  Also, this is a HUGE trigger for me.  Anything with my parenting, in the past, caused me to feel humiliated.  Inadequate.  Depressed.

And then God transformed my life with something called: HIS GRACE.

Not just in the area of my own walk with Him. But in my understanding of control.  And how little I actually have.  Especially as it relates to the choices of my children.  Even the young ones.

So with this in mind, I desire to send out some encouragement to you moms out there in the blogosphere.  Step right up and gawk at the ridiculous transparency that I will try to use to help you feel less awkward, humiliated, inadequate and depressed.  Because the title of my parenting book, should I ever write one, would be titled: "Parenting 101: I'm just as messed up as you are."

So take a deep breath and read along to the "how to's" of my *new and improved* parenting philosophy.  (SPOILER: if you are hoping for quick anecdotes on behavioral issues.. that is NOT this post).


1. Face it: your kids are maniacs. 
For the first five years of my parenting journey I was angry.  ALL the time.  When my kids spilled something, it made me mad. When my kids fought, I got mad.  When my kids smeared poop on every flipping surface, I got mad.  When they looked right in my eyes and told me, "NO!!!!", I got mad.  When my kids threw a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store, I got mad.  You get the point.  There was not much that they could do that would actually make me happy.  In fact, I think I vaguely remember a blog post in which I told everyone to go look at pics of their kids to remind them how much they truly do love their kids.  Craziness.  Here is what I thought those first five years:  "These kids are not supposed to be like this.  They are supposed to be polite and not wopp each other on the head. They are not supposed to be rough.  They are supposed to be quiet and talk only when appropriate.  Why do they have to be crazy?"

Ya see, I had this idea that if I told them something one time, they should do it (or vice versa).  I didn't realize that I am dealing with four INDIVIDUALS with INDIVIDUAL WILLS.  They make their own choices and it isn't a reflection on my parenting.  I was angry all the time because I thought that their behavior was ALWAYS a direct result of somewhere I was lacking. Or slacking.  And heaven forbid I actually take into consideration the ages and emotional maturity of each of my children before I go expecting perfection major leaps in one single bound.

Let me sum it up. All kids will do everything at least once.  NEVER say, "my kids would never." That pretty much guarantees it will be done and with incredible execution.  Your kids are doing what kids do: act a fool.  And our job isn't to make them good, sit still, stop talking and generally just sit there looking like dolls (although, I do try).  No, our goal is to help them see that their choices have certain consequences.    And that no matter what they do, they are deeply loved.  To their core.  Because that's how God loves. And that's our goal.  To learn how to accept that from God ourselves and give that gift to our children.  Therefore my biggest fear in life isn't about how my children behave in life.. it's whether they reject God's GRACE and LOVE for their own life.

Well, you do have the job of keeping them from hurting themselves long enough to reach an age where it sinks in.

2. God LOVES you..even when you throw a tantrum. 
This is the continuation of #1.  When you understand that you yourself are broken and make foolish choices (umm.. don't ask me about how much I yell) and then you consider how much you are LOVED, it changes your approach to parenting.  No longer am I hell bent on making them good.  Well because, honestly, I'm not that good myself.  I am the genius that does the classic, "STOP YELLING AT EACH OTHER AND CALLING EACH OTHER NAMES..   (muffled...you terrible brats...muffled...)."  Yeah. Exactly.  I have now become the "do as I say, not as I do" idiot.  But if I can recognize that I fail, and often, and tell that to my children.. they get to see the example of forgiveness and God's love.  He loves even me.

Bottom line: once that message sinks in.. it starts to seep through to your kids, and to other's in your life. You start to realize that we are all pretty much the same: broken people with a desperate need to know the love God has for us.  For me, it's finally starting to sink in that my children and I are on the same "playing field."  I just happen to have more experience with  bad choices life.  Then I am reminded that this is my goal as a parent.  To help my children see that they are never beyond the reach of that same GRACE.

3.  Comparing kills brain cells. 
If you have an enemy it's definitely in the comparison game.  For me it's the mom out in public with her kids.  They all seem to be walking quietly alongside their mom.  The children talk quietly as they interact with each other.  When asked to do something they respond with a quick "yes ma'am."

Oh yeah.. then I look over at my rugrats and think, "geez, this bunch would NEVER do that."  And then the self hatred begins, or WORSE, the angst toward my own children.

But this scenario could go one of three ways:
1.  That mom just used every last vocal cord she has threatening her children, before entering the store, that if they so much as breathe the wrong way they will pay for it once they get home. Oh, and they won't get dinner.
2.  Those kids are acting.  They know that if they obey long enough to get home they can act a fool and  mom will be happy.
3.  (and the more likely one). The kids, mom and all the universe are having a good day.  Something has clicked and the kids are deciding to live in harmony for five minutes and the mom sees that she doesn't really have to threaten (today).  The very same kids may choose to "act a fool" a different day, but we won't see it.  And that mom may decide to scream frantically on another shopping day, but alas, we won't see that either.

Bottom line: If I compare my bad day to every one's good day.. I will certainly be disappointed.  The next time you see a mom with all her "ducks in a row" you can say to yourself, "wow.. so that's a good day, huh?"  She has not arrived and neither have her children. In fact, she could probably talk your ear off about her own self-hatred.  The good news is that comparison can stop with GRACE.  And remembering that you have good days too.  And as your children get older you get more and more of those successes.  So much so, that the fight becomes trying to remember from that whence you came.

4.  No one asked your opinion. Even if it's right. 
So now you've had a good day (or more) and you feel validated.  Your little parenting belt is getting a good stroke (if you've forgotten #2) and so now you are on to conquering helping other moms' kid conundrums.

But here is the problem.  No one has asked you to take on that battle.  So instead of heaping grace on a mom, it comes out as judgement.  And insanely prideful, even if you don't intend it to.  Don't believe me? Ask me how I know. I used to do it to mom's all the time.  Here is the conversation low down after a friends child is throwing a fit:

Friend: Ugh.. I just don't understand what is wrong today.  He just isn't grasping that he can't just keep asking me the same thing over and over again.
Me: Yeah.. I know what you mean.  Mine do that too (see, I"m off to a good start... )
Friend: I mean, how many times do I have to keep repeating the same thing? (this is meant to be rhetorical, btw).
Me: Yeah.. mine did that and then I started having to say "If you ask me again, I will tell you no and you won't get to play" so that he would learn the consequence of continually asking me when I've given an answer.

DOH.  I just did it. I coached her on parenting and didn't even realize it.  She didn't ask me for my answer to the situation.  Even if it worked.  It doesn't matter.  What she could have used was a little bit of GRACE.. not a little bit of instruction.  I could have left it at her last response. Let her rest in the tension and then if it felt like the right time I could have said something like, "Ugh. it is really rough some days."

Now, if she had asked about my stellar parenting ideals, then I have every freedom to share my insights.  As long as I can hang on to myself and remember that I have not arrived.  And maybe throw in a few example of how I've failed. And often.


...to be continued...

What are your thoughts so far?  Do any of these points strike you as urgent?

An evolution in exercise..

This time last year (August, actually) I started a "Couch2-5k" training program.  I had never run farther than my back yard and about died the first time I had to run for one minute.. continuously.

In fact, I was 15 lbs heavier.  So running was difficult for several reasons.  I was out of shape and ready to give it a try.

So by October (2011) I was done with the training and ready to run my first 5k (3.1 miles).  Here I am right before the start: 

I made my goal.  I finished, and with a pretty good time (31 minutes).  

Unfortunately, I lost all desire to run again.  In fact, I lost all desire to do anything.  

So fast forward to February 2012.  

I had had enough.  I was ready to get fit.  Four kids and lots of excuses later.. I was done.  So I started with the "Lose It" app.  on my phone (and computer).  This motivated me to watch what I ate and to actually ENTER in exercises.  We renewed our membership to our local YMCA and I was set.  

Starting in May I decided to start training for a triathlon.  I didn't have a bike, so I focused on working on learning to swim (at least the proper technique).  By July, I was able to swim 2 miles (in 70 minutes).  

Last week I had a new "first."  My friend Kristen (who is training for a marathon) asked me to run some 400m sprints with her.  Speed drills, she said. Like an idiot, I said yes.  While I hated it toward the end, I LOVED it when we finished.  I felt great.  I didn't feel any faster (haha), but I knew it would help me later.  

all sweaty after the sprinting. 

And then today, I ran 6 miles.  I know that seems like it's not a lot for some, but for me it's HUGE.  Especially when this time last year I could barely run for one minute without needing a breather.  Today, I ran for 61 minutes.  And then I came home and mapped out my next run: 8 miles.  And even though I know that it will be a killer goal for me, I am super excited to do my best.  

I'll have to keep you posted on the triathlon.  The "not having a road bike" is really holding me up.  But  I will continue my training.  And I may actually run a half marathon (13.1 miles) by the end of the year.  

I am just amazed.  Not only did I lose weight.. but I can now say that I am "fit."  And I feel it.  And at 34.. I am loving it!  

Do you have any fitness goals you are training for?  Tell me, so I can get some good ideas! 

The Food Wars

I woke up this morning and opened up Facebook.

In my news feed were pictures like this:

Now there is NOTHING wrong with the food pictured above.  In fact, I love it.  I've lost a good bit of weight recently (and still losing, at least that's the goal).  However, today struck a nerve.

I realized that, while I do have a few food snob friends that would NEVER admit to eating junk, most people don't post the food that they eat that is junk.

So I updated my status with: "You know all those pictures people post of all their healthy foods they are eating? Not that Im against that or anything.. but why not post the junk food too? Lets keep it real for erbody. So, if you eat junk today, will you take a pic and post it?? You can even tag me in it."




Here are some of the pics I got (some of these were googled, because I couldn't transfer the actual photos from my phone from texts from friends). 

This is mine.  And my Diet "toxins." 

My goal was twofold:  for people to be able to actually admit that it's okay to be themselves.  If you eat healthy all the time, that's great.  But if you are like most of the general population, sometimes you enjoy some junk.  And there is no shame in that! Then the discussion turned more philosophical (which I truly enjoy).  


"or post when you don't exercise or you gain weight? Facebook is for the most part just a bragging machine- a way to boost self-esteem and I know I am as guilty as anybody and that is being real" -Melissa


"I think it comes down to the fact that most people don't know how to relate to someone that isn't like them or doesn't do things the way they do. It permeates every part of our lives: parenting, religion, sexual orientation, food, birth, politics.., the list is endless. We have to get to the point where we can find something in common with the person who seems even the most unlike us. And then we won't be so worried about what they do that annoys/angers/shocks us."-me


"So this raises several points that I've long observed: (1) People forget facebook really isn't a private medium even with the (ever changing) privacy settings. Anything posted on the internet goes somewhere and is stored on someone else's servers that may or may not forever be secure. (2) For the 'friends' that post aggressively antagonistic comments, you have to wonder if they would say these things to your face in person. If they would, great, I have no problem with them posting it on facebook. If, however, they wouldn't, I think this becomes an example of how folks feel safer in their opinions when the internet provides the facade of anonymity. Ok, I'm going back to eating my junk food now. :)" - Joi


" ‎Joi you are right on both accounts. There seems to be some alternate reality that some live through on facebook. But as most things, I think a lot of it comes back to issues of the heart. When a person feels it's best to persuade someone else to their opinion by being overly critical of that persons opinion. Or showing them how they themselves do it so much better. However, the error began at the thought that you could change someone else's opinion. No matter how much you tell me that fast food is bad for me it will not change my love of it. Now, I am smart enough to realize that if I want to lose weight and get fit.. I have to limit my intake of said food. But at the end of the day you can't change my philosophy: I like junk food. So no matter how many photos of "kale and turnips" someone posts on their facebook page, it won't change how I feel about fast food. Do I know that it's not healthy, or the healthiest, yes. But I am not trying to tell them to stop eating Kale because it has no taste (to me). The bottom line.. rest in the tension that everyone has to walk in their own shoes and trust the Lord with their process. If they want to lose weight, they will likely figure out how to make that happen. But it's about balance. In everything. And sadly, this whole thesis applies to every other topic I listed earlier in this thread. At the end of the day a person wants to be loved no matter the choices they make." -me


I think the point here is to chill out and let people be where they are.  And also remember: Social media is not reality.  Ever. 


What are your thoughts?? 

The personalities of my kids observed at the park..

You can tell a lot about a child by observing them at the playground.  

Here is my clan and the pics to show my research: 

Here you have my first born son, Jorge.  He will 7 in June and is our natural born INTROVERT.  When he enters any situation he has to assess first.  And then he typically decides he would rather play by himself (unless his brother, Alex, is available).  He enjoys doing things that could get him hurt. 

Here you can observe my second born son, Alex.  He is 5.  And is our resident EXTROVERT.  Never meets a stranger and typically makes a friend within the first two minutes.  He is very good at asking what other kids would like to play and can corral a group to play together (he does have those gorgeous blue eyes).  He can also woo any girl no matter the age (as seen below).  

Here is my baby girl, Eva.  She is 3 (will be 4 in August).  Because she is the only girl, she does have a  bit of firstborn INTROVERT in her.  And she much prefers being "the momma" to the little ones.  You can bet that once she has arrived at a park she will have located a "baby" within minutes and will be "helping" him/her as any good mother would.  Otherwise, she tends to play in the dirt, by herself. 

Here is the monkey.   The "baby" of the family.  He turns 2 tomorrow.  And it shows.  Hard to know for sure, but I am pretty sure he is already an EXTROVERT.  He loves men.  He will reach to be picked up by a man WAY before a lady can woo him (unless she has food).  He enjoys hitting, laughing and making momma have a heart attack.  Not sure what personality trait that is, but I am hoping the hitting stops.  

I truly have had to chill out with my introvert"ed" children and let them be.  I used to think I had to make them like me: "Eva.. why don't you go play with that girl over there?"  "Jorge, that boy looks like he'd like to play with you.."  But then I realized that 1) it NEVER works and 2) they are who they are and that is so not like me OK.  They are social, and when they are comfortable they will interact as they feel the desire.

I have truly seen them deepen who they are because I'm not so pushy anymore. I enjoy watching how differently God made my kids and I really do want to learn how to support them better in developing their own personalities.

:-)

My life is a mess. And in 10 easy steps, yours can be too.

First, you must read this article out recently from CNN (CNN? I know, right?).

I understand that with a title like the one for this post, it can be hard to see that I am actually being truthful and facetious at the same time.

It's so very true that we all struggle at some level with wanting to be approved by others at one point or another.  But what we most want, and are drawn to, is the person that is aware of their "mess" or that life is messy, and is vulnerable with it.  Nay, okay with it.

So I was thinking about my life over the last year and a half and what has changed since then.  How is it that I am comfortable admitting that my life doesn't look like a page from Pinterest?  Nor are my children little well behaved love junkies.  How can I now be comfortable spewing my "vulnerabilities" all over the world wide web?

Because the people pleasing, performance treadmill makes me nauseous. 


So for those wanting the freedom that comes from a life of mess.. let me share my how to list.

1.  Realize that the person sitting next to you at that play date, church pew, or in that office space does NOT have it together. At all.

2.  Understand that the person sharing their hurts with you would actually love for you to share some of yours instead of trying to fix theirs.

3.  Being vulnerable is scary stuff.  It's never fun to go first.  Unless you get to the point where you see the strength and courage in it.

4.  People who say they want "real friendships" and "real realness" (whatever that means) rarely know how painful it can be. Therefore they can bolt quickly.

5.  You are not "too much to handle."  It's just that the other person can't admit their own mess, much less support you in yours.

6.  Being brutally honest with others is much easier than being brutally honest with yourself.  But it has to start with you.  Otherwise its called fake (aka as false humility).

7.  Put yourself in situations where you get really uncomfortable with what it would take to be honest about how you feel, think or want to act, and then realize that the other people in the room feel the exact same way about their fears as well.

8.  Realize that NOONE lives like Pinterest.  That's why everyone likes to go there and daydream.  It's fun for a little bit, but it's NOT reality.

9.  Admit that your life is out of your control or unmanageable.  Also, acknowledge what your biggest defect of character is.  Then tell someone.  Do this regularly.  Ask God to change it.

10.  Embrace that life is messy.  This will free you up from having to feel you have got to have it "all together" or look like others (who don't have it all together).  Recognize your own strengths and marvel that all our kids will one day be in therapy.

I love the point that the author makes in the article I linked to: "Heroics are often about putting our life on the line. Courage is about putting our vulnerability on the line. If we want to live and love with our whole hearts and engage in the world from a place of worthiness, our first step is practicing the courage it takes to own our stories and tell the truth about who we are. It doesn't get braver than that."


Amen.  


Thoughts? 

My tattoo fallout...

After much thought and consideration.. I got my first tattoo.  

So to answer the first round of questions I have gotten: 

1.  Yes, I know this is a FOREVER deal.  I kinda took that into consideration when doing my research. 

2.  I am quite certain that the satisfactory health rating on the wall of the shop I was in made it obvious that I was probably NOT going to get infected with a disease.  Oh, and the dude wore gloves.  

3.  Yes, It hurt like someone was cutting my skin with a knife.  Over and over.  The wrist: a very sensitive place. 

4.  No, I could not think of a more BOLD location than the one I chose.  Because the head and neck were out of the question.  (although I did tell my brother-in-law that my next tattoo's were either going to be "MS13" on my back or teardrops under my eye). 

5.  No, I am not concerned if my children decide they are going to get a tattoo one day. In fact, my biggest fear as a parent isn't that my child will get a tattoo or have a child out of wedlock. My biggest fear is that they will reject Christ.  That they will decide that the God we love has been portrayed in a way that makes them unsure of His affections for them and His sacrifice to bring them to Himself.  If they do get a tattoo I hope they don't get it while drunk on spring break (not that I hope they have that scenario either).  Other than that, I will probably take a picture.


I was very aware the negative hatred opinions out there about getting tattoo's.  I was prepping myself for the conversations I would have, because lets face it.. I live in the Bible belt.  And unfortunately The Church (Universal) hasn't always done a good job of making it more about what Christ has done for us than making sure everyone lives a certain way. Especially, in the South.  We are much more image conscious here.  We have a zeal, that's for sure, but it can be pretty burdening to others who really want to know if God loves them for them.  Not based on what they have done or will do.

Here is a snippet of something I wrote to a family member about this: 
"Well I will tell you the other side to getting my tattoo. I am a "recovering legalist." I have, for years, lived in such a way that I thought I could EARN favor with God by how I acted. And I would let everyone else know how they should act too. Thankfully, about 18 months ago God really shook up my world and brought me to a true understanding about what the Gospel is really about. It's about the fact that Christ EARNED not only my righteousness (as if I'd never sinned) but also EARNED God's favor toward me. My standing with God is secure. That doesn't mean that I don't choose to obey.. but I realize that there is no amount of "good behavior" that makes God love me more. And that includes making everything black and white. Christians tend to prohibit what God allows and non Christians tend to allow what God prohibits. Both are equally dangerous. (quoting my pastor, Bob Flayhart). 

Two years ago a tattoo was taboo. But not out of a mean heart.. but just not understanding that things that aren't strictly prohibited in the Bible mean it's a matter of choice/freedom to the individual. Instead, of it being about MY OPINION on the matter and everyone should just do that instead.

So getting the tattoo "Steadfast Love" is based on the bible verse: Lamentations 3:23 "The steadfast love of the Lord endures forever. His mercies are new every morning" Steadfast love: constant, unending, persistent. That's the love of the Father. I don't have to perform to get that love. But having felt that love I do want to please him. But I know now that because of Christ, His affections for me are secure. There is nothing I can do (good) to make God love me more. And nothing I can do (bad) to make God love me less. 

Long story. But the truth is,  I've been a Christian for 14 years and I am just now understanding a tad bit more of God's love for me. I am thankful for Christ and the freedom I have to get a tattoo (which Paul in the Bible warned us not to use our freedoms to sin.. ie. being harsh to those who don't feel the same freedom or taking part in what he strictly prohibits)." 


So, if you are against tattoo's because you just don't like them, fine.  But please understand that Leviticus 19:28 is not a mandate against tattoo's.  It's a mandate against the worship of Baal.  Big difference.  I am fine with anyone not liking my tattoo for the tattoo's sake.  But it is not a sin to get a tattoo.  I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Do you have a tattoo?  Have you gotten heat from it?

Running funny..

I am reaching new territory in my running "game." Being a little more fit this go around makes running less excruciating, but the fact that I am trying to run farther (and faster) makes it a very hard goal still. So it's time for some motivation.

While I appreciate the serious motivational running quotes..

I much prefer the funny ones..

But I have to admit, there is nothing more motivational than being covered in sweat and beating your own personal best. 

Anyone else out there running??

Losing It!!

So the before pic was in November of 2011. The "almost there" was taken today (4/11/12) in my first size SMALL shirt that I've purchased since before the birth of my fourth child almost 2 years ago.

I have been working out almost everyday. Eating well and keeping track of it all with the app "Lose It." I love that app. But most of all I love making working out part of my regular life. A "lifestyle" change.

I've lost 9.5 lbs (to date) and one pant size. And my current jeans are falling as well. Good progress.

But for the record.. all you busy moms out there. I will NOT say how "just getting started is the key." I WILL tell you the things I have skipped out on in order to make this my goal:

*My routine is shot. I go to the gym in the morning for two hours. 1 1/2 hrs to work out and 30 minutes to shower before I pick up the kids. We get home and do lunch, naps for the younger two and then rush through as much school as possible with my oldest.

*Errands don't happen unless at night. I try not to skip my workouts (Muscle on M-W-F, Spinning/cardio on T-Th) and therefore I don't get to run a lot of errands until when I am most tired..evenings.

*laundry. I haven't given up laundry as much as it's just not always folded. The kids need underwear? they go look in the basket. It's a given.

*My house is not tidy. Not that it ever was. But with us gone in the mornings it's not like we can wreck it any more. But the point is that housework isn't top of list.

Bottomline: I am not superwoman. And I have not managed to "balance" it all. No one can. So please know.. it comes at a sacrifice to something. For a small time.

Once I reach my goal I will be able to back off the everyday routine and settle into a 3-4 times a week routine. My hubby knows that this is my goal and he encourages me.. also knowing that some of the things that we are used to as a family (clean underwear in drawers) is something that everyone else pitches in on.

And I'm very happy with that.