Fatty

Isaac is 6 weeks old and 14 lbs. He is a cute chunk.

Whats up? come and see..

Crazy. I tell ya. Crazy. That's what's up.

Life with four is no different than life with three. It's the "having a newborn" that is the adjustment.

I've gotten thrush from Isaac (my first child to ever have this, btw) so since my ninnies are raw and bleeding I am pumping and giving the boy a bottle until they recover. Fun times. He likes the bottle so thats a good thing. But I can't wait to be nursing again.

Still don't have a new van since mine died two weeks ago. However, I am thankful for my friend that is letting me use her minivan while she drives her suv.

Our house is off the market. We are good with that. We love the house, we were just hoping for something bigger (than 1300 sq ft). But God has us in the cozy house for His purposes and our sanctification (tight spaces cause that to happen at accelerated rates, btw) and I know there will be many more fun memories made here for however long the Lord has us here.

Here is my "man child" .. before his makeover..


and here he is after..


He loves the Moby Wrap.. and I do too..


Eva liked having him "play" in her bed (really we put him in there and then woke her up from her nap. She didn't know what to do).. "what? Wait, why is he in my bed?"

Okay i gotta go, again.. so more pictures later.

adios.

Oh yeah, I have a blog.

Sorry my blog friends.. blogging is not up on the list for me right now. But I'm sure that's understandable.

It's not for lack of material to write about. In fact, just the opposite. At least once a day I think, "wow, I would really like to blog about that." Mainly things that I am thinking, chewing on, pondering and would like to "hash out." But alas, the time escapes me. Or better yet, is better spent reading a book on the couch with one of my kiddos.

But since I had every intention of going to bed early tonight (i.e between feedings) and my little bambino is unsettled, I decided to crack open the computer (not literally, of course). but no worries about Isaac, he is happily swinging in his swing, not sleeping deeply mind you.

It's funny, actually, that I really do wish I could blog more. I always seem to get very reflective when I have a newborn. I slow down long enough, from the recouping from delivery and the taking care of a baby, to really have some time to think on things. Also, being given another little life to be accountable for is quite humbling and makes me long to do things better. Therefore, I take a good bit of time taking "inventory."

That inventory list is the material that I would like to "hash out" in blog. God is showing me a lot right now. Teaching me alot about Himself and His desire for my life and for our family. Lots of good stuff. So hopefully I can get it to you (if you care to read about it) soon.

Until then, my little guy is now grunting and protesting the swing. So it's time to cuddle and I need my hands for that. ;-)

Birth Story: My sweet Evan "Isaac" Garcia, 05/12/10

So I've written a few birth stories for other moms, but writing my own is always difficult for me. I don't know why. There are so many different ways to process my birth and Im sure that not everyone cares for all the details, but at the end of the day, I write it out for me. For my own personal reading. I just invite the world to read it if they want to.

With that in mind.. Here is my best attempt at the details.

Isaac, my fourth baby, was new territory for me. My first pregnancy/delivery w/o the plan for an induction. As long as my blood sugar levels were in control, no matter how much insulin I was on (which turned out to be about 200 units a day there at the end), and the baby looked great (on the NST) then we would just wait for him to come on his own. **I will have to do a separate post about the process of waiting.**

At 39 weeks I lost my mucus plug. Well it was a gradual process, actually. On my last dr's appt when I was 39. 4 (monday) I was 5 cm's (same thing I did with Eva). I had been 4 cm's for almost 2 weeks. I had been contracting off and on for weeks at this point. Prodromal labor. Stronger than braxton's but not what you could classify as "active labor" contractions. HOWEVER, there was obvious cervical change. These ctx's would come 10 min apart or 20 min apart for a few hours and then stop completely. And then not show up for two more days. On Wednesday the 12th (39.6 weeks), I woke up and felt different. Couldn't say for sure what it was. I just felt, hopeful. Different. ***GROSS ALERT*** I had lost a big part of my plug, when I got up that morning.

So I decided to take the kids to the church drop in nursery service and go get a pedicure.. ya know, to keep my mind off of wondering when labor would start. I got to the church about 8:45 and headed to the nail place. I got there and in a chair about 9:30. As soon as I put my feet in the warm water I noticed the ctx's. They weren't "painful" but definitely noticeable. I could talk thru them, but would probably just be a little uncomfortable. So they kept coming. I'm a doula... so I refused to time them. What I mean is, Im so used too telling people not to time ctx's until they are more intense and notice a strong need to concentrate, that I didn't want to time my own. But for some reason, I kept glancing at my watch. I noticed they were coming every 5 minutes then one at 8, one at 5, one at 8. and so on. then it went to 4 and 7. After an hour of that.. and my toes were freshly painted, I called my friend Natalie (also my photog for the birth). She is preggers with her sixth baby and knows a thing or two about birth.

Let me say here.. the reason i was in denial about whether this could be labor is because up until this point I had never experienced a ctx without a synthetic hormone surging through my body. I've never had a spontaneous labor before. I thought for sure it would have to "hurt" worse for it to be "active." (don't worry.. I wasn't disappointed).

I told Natalie what was going on but that it had only been happening for an hour and a half, yet these were the most consistent and close ctx's I'd had up until that point. She told me about one of her births that followed the same pattern (the woman has had 5 births..so there is bound to be variety she can share from). She encouraged me to go get checked. I kinda felt the same need.

The dilemma then became what to do with my other kids. They were still at the church nursery, which you have to get your kids by 12 p.m. It was 11 a.m. I would only have one hour and I would have to drive to my doc's office (which is the same location as the hospital). I called the nursery director, Alison, and told her what was going on and they were so excited and more than willing too take care of the kids past the time of normal hours. And even go get my kids some lunch. I told them that it was likely nothing and that I may only be about 30 minutes late.

I got to my doc and say "Alright, Ross (that's dr. ross), just be warned: I don't think this is labor. I'm sure you are going to check me and there won't be any change from monday."

He checks and says, "Weeelll, I think 8 cm's is some good change."

WHAT? No stinkin' way. I was in complete shock. he suggested I go ahead and go downstairs to L&D, but not to get too ahead of ourselves because Isaac was still very high (-3 station). yeah.. exactly. That's high. But he, Ross, was convinced that once my water broke, it would go quickly.

So within the hour I was admitted, had my heplock and was getting a strip on the baby. My hubby had arrived, so did Natalie, Christina, Jennifer, Martha (MIL), Darcy (mom), Rachel (little sister) and my sister Mishka and Livia (neice) were on their way from Montgomery. You could say there were quite a few people there.

and that's Courtney, my nurse. She couldn't stay for the whole time.. but I was thankful to have her. She was with me for Eva's birth.

So we began the process of waiting.. My ctx's had gone to about 5 minutes apart and were still not super strong. Everyone kept saying how easy it looked, but I kept reminding them that my water was still intact. Knowing Isaac was still so high, I decided to walk the halls.

and sit on the ball.
But after two hours there was no change. Dr. Ross asked me if I wanted him to break my water and I declined. The dilemma was that I did NOT want any reason for them to have a "timeline" on me and if I didn't have change fast enough, the Pit talks begin. The other issue was that Ross was on call for me even though he wasn't officially on call. He mentioned that he did have an event at church that night but that he thought I'd have the baby before then. But I said I would try to do some nipple stimulation with the breast pump and walk more. The pump helped get the ctx's to about 3 minutes apart. But once I got off the pump, they slowed down again. After another two hours the only cervical change I had was Isaac came down to a -2 station.

At this point, Dr. Ross came back in and said he cancelled his teaching gig at the church and would be "all ours" for as long as it took to have the baby. But he also suggested breaking the BOW. I didn't mind doing that if Dr. Ross promised not to even mention the "P" word (pitocin) and that there would be no timeline/deadline. His exact words were, "Nope. No pit. I got your back. No Pit. Absolutely not." So at that point (4 hours with no huge change) I opted for AROM. I was 8/90/-2. and of course after that happened. The ctx's definitely picked up in intensity.

I got in the shower 30 minutes after my water was ruptured and really enjoyed the distraction of the water. And within another 30 minutes I was 8.5/100/-1 I got back on the birthing ball and another 3o minutes I later I was 9/100/0. Back to the shower I went, but this time the ctx's were so intense that even the shower wasn't "doing it" for me anymore. I got out, went to the bed and had the hardest hour of the entire labor. I was on my hands and knees over the head of the bed and had a fan blowing right on me. The hard part was i would have a short ctx of about 90 seconds and then it was followed a minute later by a 3 minute double-peak ctx.

The double peak contractions were the hardest part. And because I had figured out the pattern of the "two different" ctx's I was having, I would get through the shorter one ok, but then I would beat myself up mentally about the double-peak one coming next. I was so surprised that it hurt just as much as a pitocin ctx. I really thought it would be easier than the pit. But my friends, it turns out that transition is transition, no matter if you have Pit or not. In fact, my second nurse (shift change) Katie (also a friend), had an unmedicated pit birth with one of her babies and said she is convinced that the Pit isn't really so bad in way of "pain" like we make it out to be, but rather, it's transition that is the kicker. And that is difficult either way. I have to agree. Having done it both ways, I feel like I can have that solid opinion. haha.

So after that hour I was 10/100/0 at 7:18 (seven hours after admission to the hospital. 5 hours with no pain/or change. and 2 hours of real work). I normally am not a proponant of pushing at a zero station.. but Isaac was so big that the pressure to push was there immediately and I HAD to PUSH. So that's what I did. I started at 0. And can I say here that the ctx's were painful... but pushing was not. Even when that big boy was crowning.. it was such sweet relief to push. I was, once again, motivated and (oddly) convinced that he really was going to come out! LOL.

Yeah, lets discuss this position (below). I started out in a squat. And after one of the pushes I decided I wanted to recline. Weeell, at that point, there was no convincing me to move back up to that bar. I was staying put. It's funny to look at this picture because it looks like such an awkward position to push in.. but it worked just fine. I was kind of on my left side leaning into Jorge, and sitting up.. yeah.. interesting.

And at 7:40 (22 minutes later) my sweet, big, Evan "Isaac" was born!

this is the moment (below) that I got my first real "look" at him. Katie was picking him up to weigh him and I said, "holy COW, he is huge!!"

Umm.. yeah he is!
All 9 lbs 7 oz of him. What a little butterball. No wonder he took his time engaging.

the best Doc in all of Brookwood saying a prayer for our sweet baby and family! I really do love Dr. Ross. He did something for me that most doc's would never do: be on call for their patient even when they aren't the ones on call. He went above and beyond for us an is so patient and a great advocate for a mom's birth plan. We love you Dr. Ross (not that I think he even reads my blog).

We are so blessed to have our fourth baby and third little man of the family. God has, as always, amazed us and our hearts are full to the brim.

I am so thankful for everyone that was there. I know it was a zoo. But I loved it and I certainly couldn't have done it without you!

WHOA baby!

Heck yeah, I pushed that big boy out!

I promise.. the birth story will come soon. Im a little busy at the moment.. but thought I'd share this precious picture.. captured by Natalie..

It's a BOY!!

Evan "Isaac" Garcia.. 5/12/10.. 7:40 p.m.. 9 lbs 7 oz.. 22 inches long.

Adorably chunky.

Praising the Lord.

Birth story to come. ;-)

Spontaneous Labor, for me, is a trust issue.

You know, come to think of it, I know I'm not the only one that feels this way.

Last night I had a "come to Jesus meeting" with myself. And I had to acknowledge some feelings that are hard to admit.

I've had three "medically necessary" inductions. (at the time, I was told they were medically necessary, but in hindsight had I had more info it could have been avoided). And in this day in time, c-section rates and induction rates are skyrocketing. It is very rare to see a mom enter an L&D ward with spontaneous labor.

In the past 10 months as a doula I have helped 13 moms with their delivery. All but one, were spontaneous labors. All were unmedicated (props to Lindsay for doing a Pit birth unmedicated). And with each mom I got the privilege of encouraging her by saying "yes, your body was created.. to birth your baby. You will go from one day having no labor signs to the next.. the onset of labor. God made your body to not only grow the baby but to deliver it too."

Well yesterday, I realized that while i knew that in my head, i was not trusting it for myself. I thought, "sure, others can start labor.. but me, I've only had a synthetic hormone prompt my labors. So I doubt I will ever start labor on my own." It was a very humbling moment as I realized that I wasn't truly trusting my God in His design. I also wasn't trusting the Lord with "an open hand" for my due date, which is May 13th.

My hubby got a letter in the mail two weeks ago that said he was finally scheduled for his citizenship test and ceremony for May 19th. He has waited 20 years for this day. I have waited with him 7 of those years. And it is a very important deal for us. It is also in Atlanta and it is also not an option to reschedule. Well, unless you'd like to pay the US government another $700. And thinking that if I went to my due date, and then stayed in the hospital 2 days, I did not want to be 6 days post-partum heading to Atlanta for this appointment. It made much more sense (in my head) to try and sweep my membranes before hand and "pull out all the stops" earlier so that we could make this delivery a little earlier. Needless to say, my sweet Heavenly Father showed me that I really wasn't trusting Him for His planning of the birthday as well. He is the one who knows what day this child will be born and He is also the one who knew the date of the citizenship ceremony and i can trust that He will work it all out for my good and His glory.

Now that may sound trite to some.. but for me, it was a major issue. To learn to open my hand in ALL areas of a spontaneous birth.. not just in 'can my body do it'.. but will I let my body do it. It is a GREAT thing I am privileged to walk through and I know that God is growing me through it. It's a wonderful lesson to learn to trust for yourself, the things you have encouraged others in.

And just for the record.. Im starting to lose my mucus plug. ;-P (see, my body IS doing it).

not much goin' on..

Im 37 weeks preggo today.

my doc appt yesterday was uneventful. NST was perfect. Amnio fluid (via u/s) was plentiful (19 cm's.. i gotta enough for others too!)

And other than some minor contractions.. there isn't much going on. I definitely feel like his head is very low. And my lower abdomen is very sore.. don't ask.. i have no idea.

I'll keep ya posted if anything changes. ;-)

belly

Is it nesting?

I am going to be 36 weeks tomorrow. I have had three babies at 38 weeks. I am under the impression that somehow I could deliver at 38 weeks, again.

this is causing some "pressure" to get things done around here.

However, having our house on the market means I still have to keep things uncluttered. And while I don't consider necessary furniture (extra dresser for Isaac's clothes and stuff) to be clutter, we have to minimize things that we can downsize on. So this means that I have to be creative.

I don't want to be creative. I just want to pull out all my baby stuff and not worry about the fact that it is "over crowding" our little house. But alas, this is what we have to do to keep our house "ready."

All that to say, Im nesting. Seriously nesting. And i can't do a lot of things during the day because my kiddo's need me (go figure ;-p) so i have to get more done in the evenings. This in itself is a testimony to how badly I want to get things done/ready. My evenings are normally spent veggin' on the couch. But the past two nights I have been super productive, thus super tired. And I still feel overwhelmed that i am not keeping up with everything.

Well, if you have read this post this far, you are truly bored. Random, I know. More for my own documenting. And to keep my mind off the fact that my floors still need to be mopped.