after a "bad" homeschooling day

(I finally wrote this down..to keep my sanity. I know I am opening myself up to attack for posting this.. but oh well).

WHY AM I DOING THIS?

Face it Rachel:

· There are better teachers out there than you.

· School isn’t evil.

· Your children would “survive.”

· Life would be “easier.”

You obviously aren’t hs’ing for academic reasons. You aren’t hs’ing because you think that this is a quicker way to sanctify yourself.

It’s also apparent that hs’ing isn’t:

· Easy.

· A quick return.

· Convenient.

· Fun (most of the time).

· What allows for the most free time.

· For everyone.

· Law (as in, “you are more spiritually pleasing” to the Father if you hs).

So, here is what HS’ing is (perceived negatives):

· Difficult

· Frustrating.

· Emotionally taxing.

· Physically draining.

· A slow process.

· Inconvenient (at times).

· Demanding of your time, energy, and brain space.

But Rachel, it is a CHOICE.

So why in the world, knowing all of the above, are you choosing to do this?

I want to do home education because:

1. I get to follow my kid’s learning pace.

Yes, Rachel. Your child will hit a wall. He will forget what he’s learned and you will have to back track. But hs’ing allows for you to catch on when this happens and then give him/her the attention they need. You can stop the class and say.. “Lets scratch that and move on to this” or “hey, lets go back a few lessons and review.” This is NORMAL. And being able to work the lessons around where he is will build confidence and the truth is: HE/SHE WILL get it soon enough. Part of hs’ing is not defining what grade your kid is in bc, quite honestly, while he may be 1^st grade math he could still be kindergarten with reading. That is NORMAL. And will likely be like that his entire education years (ahead/current with some subjects and “behind” in others). And imagine the confidence he/she will have knowing that that is Okay.

2. He/She avoids playground politics.

One of the main reasons why you want to educate at home is because you want for your kids to not have to deal with “the reality of the real world” as a young kid. You want to allow them to be free to play and learn instead of worried about Johnny on the playground pressuring them, or berating them. You are not naïve in this effort, knowing that, YES the world is brutal, but you want to build your arrows strong before you send them into that battle.

3. You are able to work on the heart issues that come up everyday.

This used to be pie in the sky for you, but now it makes sense. Remember Jorge being the bully. In school, this would be up to the teacher to work on, until he got home and then you would only have a few hours to help him. But at home all day, he is with you and with his siblings and you are able to see it first hand and deal with it every time it comes up. And you are able to have those heart to heart conversations leading him to the Gospel of Christ and His desires for his little life. That is so worth every ounce of frustration over phonics. But also having them home all day means that you see their sin (all day long) and not just one kid.. but four. It is very draining, emotionally, to have to deal with this.. but you know it is close to your heart. And that drives you to pray for wisdom and remember that THIS is a benefit of hs’ing: you have all day to pray with them and talk with them about the very things they struggle with.

4. So much flexibility with the daily routine.

Rachel your heart longs to cherish this time while they are young. To be able to go to the park, have fun, snuggle at naps and just be around each other.. while that season exists.

With this said, you need to remember a few things, Rachel:

· There will be GREAT days. Progress is evident. Life seems perfect.

· There will be “BAD” days. They will regress. Life will seem bleak. And you will question, “Why am I doing this?” Remember: THIS IS A CHOICE. Your risks/benefits analysis says that you can handle the frustrations in light of the benefits for your family and for your children.

· You believe that the perceived negatives are really things that God can use to glorify himself (remember the day of spiritual warfare that turned into a wonderful sharing opportunity with the kids?).

· Your kids, at times, will have to back track. This is GREAT. It means you are listening to their needs.

· The younger kids will still “distract you” from school. But this is for their good too. Because they are learning as well. Not only from the discipline, but from what the older ones are learning (remember the catechisms).

· While you may not be the “best” teacher out there, you know your children the best. And you can be a great tool of encouragement in their lives.

· Daily struggle with patience or even desire to hs is an opportunity to go back to this list. But also to bring it to God. Ask Him if this is what’s best. And at any point, he could say “no.” There is grace to make a different choice. And there is also GRACE to keep the current one.

· Just like marriage, hs’ing is not a fairytale. At times it is painful, gut wrenching, crying, full of emotional roller coasters, fights, repenting of wrong, loving in spite of sin and a HUGE opportunity to receive grace as well as give it. It is not always the happy facebook updates/pictures. Those are the good days. Not everyone posts pictures of the crappy days. But that is not reality. Remember: it’s difficult to do home education. But good comes from both types of days.

· - You are not motivated by boot strap mentalities or thinking “Just push through” or even spiritual sounding mentalities, “this is for our good,” etc. What motivates you is this truth: You are a beloved daughter of the king regardless of where your child goes to school. Your desire to hs your kids doesn’t improve your standing with God (that is already sealed). What encourages you is to know that God is using even those depressing days with no progress and complete meltdown for His glory. Yes, that’s the same answer as “this is for our good” but if feels less preachy in the context of “he loves you regardless of what you decide to do.”

· It all goes back to YOUR list. Not someone else’s.

Why the teacher is always learning too..

I'll tell ya, this homeschooling thing isn't as bad as I thought it was (last year).

Yes, I gave up on K5 last year. I hated to admit it. But I did. And now, I am so thrilled that I did. I had a newborn, a family crisis and too much invested in what my peers where doing.

Granted, all the HS'ing veterans tried to warn me: "don't become a slave to the curriculum," or "don't beat yourself up about having to do it a certain way," and my favorite one to ignore, "You don't have to go out and buy all the fancy curriculum to teach them what they need to know. It's kindergarten."

Well I totally failed. I went and bought the fancy curriculum and tried to put so much on my poor child that it burnt us both out. It wasn't fun. It wasn't sinking in for him and on top of that I had to put Eva in MDO because I couldn't even focus through one session.

So fast forward to today. I have all the kids at home and am able to successfully get through a 1st grade school day (which lasts about an hour for Reading, Bible and Math). And I feel much better about it and actually LOVE it and so does Jorge. We are into week two and he is still waking up in the mornings saying, "Mommy, we are going to do school today, right?"

(he has also said while doing math, "mommy can you get a pillow for my head, this is making me tired.").

So what changed in a year?

1. I no longer put stock in what my peers are doing. If you got something that you love, I'd love to hear about how great it's working for you. But if you sell it to me as, "your kid has got to get this _________ (curriculum, concept, etc)" I immediately tune you out. I am all too easily swayed to peer pressure. And not the kind that involves drugs. But the comparison dance. The one where I go back and forth in my head about all the ways someone else is doing it better than me. Well I hate that dance, and I no longer buy the music. I try to recognize the song when it comes on and turn it off. This has helped me so much in paying attention to: the learning style of the kid I'm teaching, what he/she likes to do, and their own rate of learning. If we spend a week on one Bob book and two days on the next.. that is JOY to my heart and I'm not worried that your kid just read the entire set in one sitting. Hello, Freedom! Goodbye, Pressure.

2. I am honing in on the art of distraction. Homeschooling is the easy part. It's the younger siblings that can make a momma loose her ever.loving.mind. So I have to spend equal time figuring out how to get the younger three occupied (if they are deciding they don't want to do school with me and Jorge) with something entertaining or fun for them. So far Eva and Alex want to "do school" which includes a modified version of whatever we are doing, whilst they are coloring or playing with counting cubes. And Isaac, he either wanders around destroying the house or in his pack n play contained with toys. For me, I had to realize that it takes creativity to include the younger ones or even to keep them busy. And some days this works better than others.

3. I've learned the difference between routine and schedule. I LOVE a good routine. A schedule, is of the devil. (I jest, sort of). There can be so much more grace with a routine. And flexibility too. It also frees us up to do fun things. I used to be a stickler for the clock. Now I can tell what time it is by what we are doing.. and not stressed that it's 30 minutes later than when we did it the day before. My kids get dressed on their own after breakfast, because that's the routine. but there isn't a mandatory time that that is supposed to happen by.

4. I stop when the fun stops. This is huge for me. Obviously, in learning there are times where it isn't our favorite thing to do, so we persevere. But when mommy starts getting frustrated that little Jorge's 3's look like a number of evil (I don't know what that means exactly) we take a break. Mommy needs to move on. Mommy needs to remember that little Jorge is just now learning this stuff and he won't go to college writing his 3's like an alien. "Mommy move on." That's what I keep saying in my head.

I tell ya.. the growth has to happen in me. I hear people say all the time, "I could never teach my kids." And I won't pretend I don't know what you are talking about. It is definitely hard work. The patience that has to come is painstaking. But the joy I get when I see the hard work pay off, it's unreal. It's not all, bake days and fun outside. It's hard. It's long hours and lots of worrying, "will they ever write their 3's so we can recognize it?" And the answer is yes. And the process of what I am learning is just as priceless as seeing them persevere too.

I'm looking forward to growing more and more each year and becoming a better teacher than I was the year before.

If i can just survive...

This has been my thoughts for today: If I can just survive (dot.dot.dot).

I think most of it centers around homeschooling. I think.

Jorge is 4 1/2. We have done some pre-school stuff and he loves to learn. We did figure out that he is color deficient. Not color blind, but he can't determine yellow and blue very well. I was so thankful to be the one to figure this out and not some frustrated teacher in a classroom with 20 other 4 year olds wondering why this boy "won't focus." Needless to say, I wasn't any better because I thought he wasn't paying attention, but then God put in my mind/heart, "Rachel, he may not actually understand the difference. he could be color blind/deficient." So to the Internet we went and found some ways to "diagnose" it. Oddly enough, it was through the came Candyland that we figured all this out.

With that behind us. I now have to make a plan for when we start Kindergarten. I think I've decided to go with My Father's World Curriculum (feel free to let me know of any others you might suggest). With that, I feel very confident to start this coming September. The only thing that scares me.. well the three things that make me tremble and think.. If I can just survive are:

THIS...

THIS....

and this...

Well I don't actually have a picture of the little butter bean.. Isaac.

Come September I will have a fourth baby that will be four months old, a 2 yr old , an almost 4 yr old and 5 year old. Okay, Im not whining.. Just stating the facts.

The reason this makes me wonder my stats on survival is that today I had to lay down the law and put up a baby gate to keep Eva out of the schoolroom. Which she obviously did not like. The reason.. She will get into everything and will absolutely keep me from being able to focus on what I am trying to do with the boys. So come September I will have two little ones that will need to have something to do while I do school with Jorge. Well, actually i know that we will do his school in the afternoon while the other three are napping. But Alex will have to do school in the morning with the baby gate up.

Seriously, I am not complaining.. just wondering if I will survive it.

;-P

Good lil' American citizen

My 4 year old reciting the pledge of allegiance. too cute.

Seriously, now it can begin!

As a follow up to this post here is the final product: 

The table is wonderful.  It makes all the difference in the world and the boys absolutely LOVE it.  As soon as I set it up Alex got out the Spanish vocab flash cards and Jorge got a puzzle and they both sat there working at the table..

I am so thankful for my little schoolroom!   Yay! 

Let K4 begin!!

Okay.. well not quite yet.  But we are making progress.. I don't have any before pics (oops) but our office has been transformed into the new schoolroom.  And in case you were wondering, yes, we are homeschooling.  ;-) (descriptions under the photo)

When you first walk into the room you see this (above).  The walls are freshly painted (yellow) although, the baseboards still need to be painted white.  There is also (on its way) a 36" round kindergarten table that will go in the center of the room for all things craft and work related.  ;-)

This wall shows some of our charts (L,R) Books of the Bible, The Ten Commandments chart (for kids), The brother offended checklist and the Go to the ant chart.   As well as some artwork done by Jorge.  Also, the cute curtain I bought to cover the closet door.  

This wall is more true to the color of the walls, a deeper yellow (which I love, btw.  thanks best hubby for painting).  The alphabet chart and the pledge of allegiance chart and our lovely window AC unit since the air doesn't push very well into this room.  And art work done by Alex.  

On the right is my "temporary" shelves until I can upgrade.  but we will keep the cute basket unit on the left, that now houses puzzles, paper, manipulative's., etc.  Also two of my favorite masterpieces: the first time my boys used finger paints (at home) hanging up on the wall.  

This is to show my beautiful bookshelf (I had two but had to get rid of one and store books to make this transition) that my husband built when we were first married.  Obviously, I need to do some organizing since the "transition."  

Overall, I love it.  There are still some details that have to be worked out.  Mainly getting the table will make all the difference.  The boys love it and as soon as they go in there they want to do all the "cool school stuff."  I have to admit, this is really fun.  I know it will get tougher as the kids get older, but I am so excited to be able to be their teacher!  I am thankful to God that He has given me the vision and a wonderfully supportive husband!  You rock babe!