this is my gang..

and oh i love them..

Guilt Ridden Momma?

* I am the one who wanted: all these kids, them so close, to stay home, to home school (etc.). Therefore, I need to "deal."

*Me time is selfish.

*My husband is too tired for me to ask for help.

*This is "my" job.

*I need to find the joy and not focus on the facts: *I am tired, I am overwhelmed, I feel like I'm drowning (etc.).

*Other mommas have: more kids than me, a smaller house, a harder time than me, an absent husband (etc).. so I need to buck up and "deal."

*My kids need me. All the time.

*My husband needs me. All the time.

*My house needs me. All the time.

________________________________________________

If you've hand ONE of those thoughts (or are like me and had all of them..every.day).. then guess what? you are a guilt ridden momma. And guess what: Guilt, is not from God. It's lies. All lies. And sadly, it's there to bring you to a slow, painful destruction.

Here is what I am learning. the TRUTH IS:

*I need to ask for help. God is the one who gave me *all these kids* and their spacing. but that does not mean that I can not take breaks. "Oh but the women of the Bible had 13 kids.." Yeah, and they also had servants. YOU do NOT have to be all, do all and serve all... TO THE DETRIMENT of yourself. I do not have to "buck up" and "suffer through." God's goal is not for coping. It's for healing. If you feel tired, overwhelmed and like you are drowning take that as a cue, RED FLAG that you need some "(insert name your here) Time." Not dropping your kids off at a friends so you can clean your house time, fold the laundry time, grocery shopping time.. some YOU TIME. The enemy (and even the Church, at times, or those in it) have sold a bag of lies that you are selfish to ask for time away. Time to have no responsibility but to sit/walk/fall asleep or whatever suits your fancy.

Your family will survive. Better yet, they will thrive because you are taking that time to regroup, recharge, re-energize. Coping means distraction: facebook, my friends, is coping. that is not YOU time. You time is defined as something that re-energizes you. Re-fuels you. What is that thing (apart from serving others) that you enjoy? That isn't part of a job. Part of a "responsibility," that you get excited about? If you are like me, it may take a while to think of what excites you.

You need to give yourself permission to WANT a break. Then you need to give yourself permission to MAKE it happen. Your family needs you to be at your best. And if you are hitting a brick wall.. that's not your best. You have to pray and ask God to show you what breaks you need. How many. Once a week for an hour or four hours. I don't know. That's between you and God.

Please know that God's plan is for you to get rest, comfort and peace EVEN NOW when you are in your season. NOT suffer through it. He came to give you life, and life abundantly. If you aren't feeling too abundant.. it's time to re-evaluate. And friends.. please do this before it's too late.

adios.

You are special..

Hey blog friends.

you are probably wondering where i disappeared to. I guess it's been a bit of an internet sabbatical. I've had a lot of things on my plate and needed to unplug to be able to process my "stuff" and to hear that "still small voice."

I wanted to share a little bit of what I have been treading through.. if you watch the video below.. its a reading of the book "You Are Special" by Max Lucado.

I promise it's worth the 8 minutes. And gives an beautiful picture of what I am having to learn, have been learning and will constantly need to remember.

I will update again soon.

hopefully.

rg

"I always feel like...somebody's watching me"

Remember that song.. with the catchy tune??

Well I was thinking about it yesterday when I got curious about my blog followers.

Supposedly there are quite a bit of people (that I don't even know about) that have partaken of my blog.. and well.. I would love to know who you are.

So here is your chance to introduce yourself. If you have stumbled onto this post or "always" read my blog, please leave me a comment on this post.

And if you have a blog of your own.. leave me a link for it. (you can even tell me if there is something you'd like for me to talk about or share).

Aaaand whilst you are here.. please enjoy the pure freakyness of the video for that beloved 80's song..

(i wonder if the director/creator of this video ever worked in hollywood again).

If I've told you ONCE..I've told you 1,000 times..

Listen up mommies.

Have those days, nay, years where you think, "seriously, how many times do we have to go over this??"

Well, take heart. Eventually it (apparently) sinks in.

With my boys I am constantly saying, "Open the door for girls (for mommy), and then let them go first." Our practical application is attempted every time I open the van door to let the kids in. Eva will be attempting to climb up (she's 2, so that can be a slow process) and the boys will trample her trying to bypass her. INSTEAD of waiting patiently. So generally, in my best ladylike voice I gently say (ehem.. read here YELL), "LADIES FIRST!"

I don't know how many times we go over this in a day.

We are already trying to master gentleness with the female species while playing, with, "boys, God made you strong to protect girls. NOT hurt them."

So today, while eating at CFA, the Sprite had gotten low. So Jorge (5) volunteered to go get the refill. You know, he's a half grown man now, right?

So off he goes, chest pushed out, head held high.

Then he returns. With Alex and Eva waiting at the playroom door ready for a giant gulp. As soon as Jorge opens the door Alex, being faster and stronger than Eva, gets the first spot in front of the cup. And with a very manly voice you hear Jorge bellow, very kindly, "No No, LADIES FIRST." And he walks over to Eva and lets her have the first gulp.

Melt.my.heart.

Well everyone. It seems my job is done.

haha. I wish. But I sure am proud of that there gentleman.

I know better.. and for that, I feel badly..

Ever have one of those times where you said something "helpful" with the full intent of it being perceived as loving, nurturing concern?

only it probably didn't come across that way?

Let me set the stage for you.

My precious family of six were at the park. I was watching Eva play with another little girl her age and noticed that the little girls' mom was sitting down next to a baby car seat. Assuming there was a "new" baby in it (I saw little bity toes peeking out from under a blanket) I asked "how old is your baby?"

The mother, very sheepishly said, "ehem.. 4 days old."

"Four days??!!" I asked. "Four days? Well, you don't know the rule do you?"

"What rule?" she asked. I'm sure very excited to hear my OPINION. (I know, right?? geez).

"Queen for a week. Princess for two weeks. A queen dictates from the bed. A princess, from the couch." I replied.

"Well I've just been in the bed for so long I had to get out," she said.

Okay friends.. I wish I could, at that point, or should have, gone on and on about how cute her baby was. That's what I (the RANDOM stranger) should've done. But my "momma bear/psycho doula" persona came out instead. She then said, "well, it's just that I had to have a c-section and I'm not allowed to do as much so i needed to get out. But I actually feel much better than I did after my daughter was born."

Okay here is where I stepped over the line completely. Poor momma, I said "C-section. You are out 4 days post-partum after major abdominal surgery?? well, you feel fine. . while medicated??"

GASP! did you just suck all the air out of the room? Or did your mouth just fly open? Mine did just typing it.

What I was trying to say was.. if you are on pain meds it can mask what is actually happening to your body. If you want to know how well you're healing.. stop taking them and see what happens. But here is the kicker.. she didn't ASK for my opinion.

I had become, in that moment, the annoying know-it-all that fails to understand "unasked for advice is the same as criticism."

So, dear sweet new momma that I unintentionally bulldozed at the park.. I should know your name, but i was more concerned with being your mommy/conscience that I didn't ask, please forgive me. If I could go back, I would just say how precious your baby was and wish you a speedy recovery...

not at the park.

(look, I'm a slow learner).

Look, It's not like Im a neat FREAK or anything...

Okay friends. I need to clarify.

You guys had some pretty funny comments on my last post. And then after I enjoyed that you guys thought I was a neat freak.. I decided to "come clean."

I enjoy having a "neat" house. But it is not like that all the time.

Here take a look:

this is my dresser in my room. It has been like that for.. hmmm.. three days? Okay.. four.

the clothes on the left are folded clothes for Isaac that should go in the bottom left drawer. But because the boy is growing so fast, I need to take the "too small" clothes out of that drawer and put the new ones in. But that involves organizing. Which I don't want to do right now. So for now, I go in and grab what he needs. Done.

The clothes on the right are mine. Folded. And yes, they need to be put away. ehem.. in the drawer that is open. And yes.. that is a baby scale and a bag of trash on there too.

I could take other pictures of the non-neatness of my house. but I'd rather not make me depressed so that you can feel better about yourself. LOL.

I jest.

My point is this: I am the LAST person that would ever "judge" another person for the appearance of their house. I know first hand, that unless I walk in that persons shoes.. I have no right. Besides, if i do that then I have to put that same standard on myself. And folks.. I'm legalistic enough (on myself) I don't need any more yoke to bear.

But I will say.. once I start cleaning.. watch out. Stay out of my way. Or invite me over to help you. ;-)

Apparently, I stress you out.

So I went to walmart to do a map.

Yes, a map. Of what was on each aisle, by number. This isn't what my post is about. But I thought it would be interesting to tell you. I did the map so that when I go grocery shopping with all four of my wild ones, I will know which aisle my items are on and not forget things (that are even on my list) because I don't want to go ALL the way on the other side of the store to get it.

Anyhoo.

As I was exiting the store I was getting quite the chuckle from the kids. I was wearing Isaac and holding Eva's hand. She was supposed to hold Alex's hand who was holding Jorge's hand. Got the mental picture??

Well, Eva thought it was fun to keep snatching her hand away from Alex. And every time he would "scold" her, she would just get more and more tickled. It made for a fun walk to the car. Seriously, I loved seeing Alex try to "help" Eva. I wanted to see how he would solve the problem. (which he was gaining no ground on, btw).

So when we got to the van I just said, "Alex, we are here now. Go ahead and get in the van. I have her hand." He was saying something to me when a woman, parked across from me (who had apparently watched us from the time we left the store) came up to me and said, "ma'am, can I help you please?"

That sounds nice enough when I type it, but let me give you an idea of her tone (which says everything). You know when you are so tired of seeing your kids do something that is irritating the fire out of you and you just want them to hurry up already? You then look frustratingly at them and say, "Can I help you PLEASE?"

that was her tone. I seriously think she thought I was in over my head. But we were just laughing it up. Well, all but Alex.

The rest of us were seeing the humor in the situation and this lady, I assume, had had enough. Of what? Im not exactly sure. But it came across in her tone. To which I replied, "Oh no, we are great here. Just having fun. thank you though."

I think she wasn't happy with that response. Because, apparently, we stress people out.

Overwhelmed by 2!

My sweet girl, Eva Isabel, you are 2 years old today.

You share this day with another of my favorite girls, your Aunt Mishka. I love that you both have the same birthday.

Eva you are such a joy to me in so many ways. While you are insanely mischievous (just like your oldest brother Jorge was) you are just too cute to be "mad" at. Already by 2 you have.. had me call Poison control twice, you had a stint of taking off your diaper at every turn, hid my cell phone many times (after you manage to turn it off), played happily in my laundry detergent and dumped it all over the laundry room floor, climbed up onto the top bunk of the boys bed (and demand that I come get you, every.single.time) and tormented your brothers in special ways that only you can.

But oh sweet girl, you have way more sweetness in that little petite body than you could ever have "trouble." When your brothers come out of the bathroom from getting discipline, you are standing at the door and open your arms and say, "uh huuug."

You love to sing songs. Your favorites include:

-itsy bitsy spider, Jesus loves Me, God is so good, and "Happy" as you say (If you are happy and you know it).

You light up every room you walk in to. You say "Hey" with a big smile to anyone you come in contact with. You give orders better than anyone. You are talking way earlier than your smart brothers did. Every day you amaze me with what you know. In fact, just yesterday you got upset when I said you couldn't have any more "candy." And you said, "Mommy. Meeean." That, you got from your brothers ("You being mean").

Your brothers adore you. They share their toys better with you than they do with each other. And your little brother already adores you too. You love your "Ikick" and give him tons of slobbery kisses.

Well as we joke that we have 3 boys and a family idol.. we do know that you are so special to have. You bring so much to our family and we are thankful that God gave you to us. I love you sweet girl.

Kisses and squeeze hugs.

Cause and Effect..

This product:



successfully STOPS this behavior:



But because he is no longer able to lull himself to sleep with his thumb, he may do this when he is supposed to be napping:

but I will venture to say that NOT moving bone structure in his mouth (per the dentist) is better than not napping.

I haven't fully decided on that one yet. ;-)

(Do NOT leave this product in your house with a 2 year old little girl. Said girl can, to your surprise take off the top, put the little brush thingy in her mouth, drool profusely, vomit her breakfast, make you dial Poison Control, stuff ice cream down her mouth, which she will gladly take, gag a few times and tell you at least 100 times, "mommy, yuckies" as she claws at her tongue. but otherwise be just fine.)