Thursday, February 10, 2011

Let Him entice you..

For so much of my life as a Christian I have struggled with Grace.

I have struggled to truly accept that I am, in fact, a well loved daughter of a King. Rather, I think about all the things I could "do" that might make Him happy with me. The performance treadmill. Then when my heart wanders, and it does, I wonder why I just can't "pull myself up by my bootstraps" and get over it already. I struggled for years with anger (still do).. but I have been meditating on the truth that our love, genuine care, grace, mercy and nurturing of others has to come from a place of realizing that we have been, ourselves, loved first by Him. (1 John 4:19).

Another truth to chew on.. in Hosea (you know the story.. the adulterous woman that God is telling Hosea to pursue and love as a picture of His love for His people) in Hosea 2:14 God says of Isreal: "Behold I will allure her, bring her into the wilderness and speak kindly to her."

Allure-the power to attract or entice. This is the Lord God of Heaven describing his passion and pursuit of you. That right there, my friend, is scandalous. Scandalous grace. And then, He draws us to the wilderness.. desolate. a place that we humans have no control over.. it can be stunningly beautiful but also overwhelmingly desolate. It is there that His intention is to speak kindly to us.

Does that speak to your heart? the affections that your Father has for you? Not based on anything you've done for Him or done in His name. In fact, he tells Hosea to speak to Gomer, the woman who had betrayed him, to speak to her in this way.. kindly, to show His love.

Nothing can compare to that. Can you see why that "pull yourself up" and "I gotta get right first" CRAP is such a sad attempt STILL in the name of our OWN strength? His love, is different than what I have assumed for years. It is scandalous. It is audacious. "Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that His kindness leads you to repentance?" (Romans 2:4). The Law.. that was to show us our sin.. But Christ came to fulfill the Law. Now we live in His grace. His acceptance. His radiant pleasure shining upon us. That my friend is what gets me up in the morning. Not my sad attempt at what I can offer. I can't do that anymore. I am at the end of myself. I need that GRACE. I need Jesus. I need to know how much he wants to allure my wandering heart. prone to wander. For months. Prone to leave the God I love. but He takes our hearts and seals it.

Amazing Grace.. how sweet the sound. That song has new meaning to me now.

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