Running funny..

I am reaching new territory in my running "game." Being a little more fit this go around makes running less excruciating, but the fact that I am trying to run farther (and faster) makes it a very hard goal still. So it's time for some motivation.

While I appreciate the serious motivational running quotes..

I much prefer the funny ones..

But I have to admit, there is nothing more motivational than being covered in sweat and beating your own personal best. 

Anyone else out there running??

Losing It!!

So the before pic was in November of 2011. The "almost there" was taken today (4/11/12) in my first size SMALL shirt that I've purchased since before the birth of my fourth child almost 2 years ago.

I have been working out almost everyday. Eating well and keeping track of it all with the app "Lose It." I love that app. But most of all I love making working out part of my regular life. A "lifestyle" change.

I've lost 9.5 lbs (to date) and one pant size. And my current jeans are falling as well. Good progress.

But for the record.. all you busy moms out there. I will NOT say how "just getting started is the key." I WILL tell you the things I have skipped out on in order to make this my goal:

*My routine is shot. I go to the gym in the morning for two hours. 1 1/2 hrs to work out and 30 minutes to shower before I pick up the kids. We get home and do lunch, naps for the younger two and then rush through as much school as possible with my oldest.

*Errands don't happen unless at night. I try not to skip my workouts (Muscle on M-W-F, Spinning/cardio on T-Th) and therefore I don't get to run a lot of errands until when I am most tired..evenings.

*laundry. I haven't given up laundry as much as it's just not always folded. The kids need underwear? they go look in the basket. It's a given.

*My house is not tidy. Not that it ever was. But with us gone in the mornings it's not like we can wreck it any more. But the point is that housework isn't top of list.

Bottomline: I am not superwoman. And I have not managed to "balance" it all. No one can. So please know.. it comes at a sacrifice to something. For a small time.

Once I reach my goal I will be able to back off the everyday routine and settle into a 3-4 times a week routine. My hubby knows that this is my goal and he encourages me.. also knowing that some of the things that we are used to as a family (clean underwear in drawers) is something that everyone else pitches in on.

And I'm very happy with that.

Why the GNO and MHD are mandatory..

I've written a post before explaining the guilt that moms feel about taking time for themselves. Whether it's a "Girls Night Out" or a "Mental Health Day," they are both incredibly invaluable. And your whole family will be better if you take part.

But how do you know when it's time? While I advocate setting up a regular time for you to make time for yourself (to be by yourself or with friends).. there are those moments that sneak up on you with such craftiness that it takes every ounce of strength to make it to bed time.

For instance, a time when a GNO or MHD may be a matter of supreme urgency is when one, or all, of the examples (listed below) happen in regular succession:

Exhibit A:

A child sticks a pencil up their nose.

Exhibit B:
A child paints their face with.. wait for it... a BLUE SHARPIE.

Exhibit C:
You have cooked every meal for your kids and are only left with this:


Exhibit D:

Your two year old puts the coffee in the sugar bin. But alas, it was my fault.

Exhibit E:
You clean your house over and over again.. but at the end of the day it still looks like this:

I think you get the point. And I am sure you have many "exhibits" of your own. I just want to encourage you to know that "breaks" are okay to take. In fact, your family will be better for it. Even if your next day is filled with "exhibits" you will have a fresh perspective: like, it's doable without losing your sanity.

Why I love the Ergo!

As previously noted, I love baby wearing and here is one more reason why:

Yes, she was exhausted.

Yes, the Ergo can carry a 3.5 year old.

And I love it!!

(I will also add that this girl did not feel as heavy as carrying the 23 month old boy just 15 minutes earlier).

CURSE you "Hunger Games"!

Because the "Hunger Game" series is my first time being sucked in to a good book series (I know, I know.. somewhere someone just hissed their vampire teeth at me..) I am on the learning curve about when one should actually read during the day.

Say, for instance, if you have small children. One would have to catch on rather quickly that getting sucked into the "arena" is NOT a good idea when you have, say, a toddler and they are awake.

Because, when all you can hear is the cry of Katniss for Peeta you may miss out on the eerily silent toddler. And we all know that a silent toddler is way more scary than anything President Snow can throw at you.

Take for instance what one might find when they walk into the kitchen, after the toddler walks up to me (obviously engrossed in the third book) with sugar coated hands...

yes.. he certainly did (under all manner of stealth like movements) move the chair up to the counter, and proceed to pour coffee into the sugar bin. And then play around a bit..

Notice the nice coffee in the silver sugar bin?

Obviously, he did this in defiance of the rations in District 13.

And in direct response to my absorption in this series.

Serves me right. Lesson learned.

Next time, I read when he is safely asleep.

..but I still don't like "play dates."

I truly think I may be the only mom on the planet that doesn't like the "play date."

You know, the "fun" time where (in a perfect world) your kids play happily with your friends' kids so that you can have uninterrupted mommy talk time?

Exactly. In a perfect world. Or maybe with kids who are compliant and don't try to use the equipment as a way to cause heart palpitations to their dear old mom.

((Now before you go all, "well if they were trained..", on me. That applies to your family. Not to mine)).

Back to what I was saying. What was I saying? Oh, yes. Play dates. I remember the first time I went on a playdate when I had two small kids. Thankfully back then it consisted of destroying my friends house (because it was indoors) but we all pitched in to clean everything up. Granted, I was clued in pretty early that while we (mommy's) could speak as we pleased, we couldn't hear a daggum thing over all the shrills.

Fast forward to four kids and, while two are older, I still have two smaller ones that I have to chase around the park. And generally we end up at some darn park without a fence. You know, prison containment for my kids that are not compliant. But most of all it's the fact that I will have 50% that want to wander and explore (again, perfectly fine) except that the other 50% want to stay and do death defying stunts on the playground. So hmmm... which one do I oversee? All the while, the other mom is standing there probably wondering why I'm not talking to her very much.

I can't handle it. Oh I can handle my children at a park. I just can't handle the idea that somehow I am supposed to carry on a conversation beyond: "Eva, you fell of the merry go round because you were dangling your, eh hem, booty out in the air," "Isaac, stop trying to eat the bark. BLAH" "Jorge and Alex, stop climbing on the outside of the tube slide. Seriously."

So when it's just us. I enjoy it. I know, it makes me anti-social. But I've been told I will enjoy play dates again one day, but that seems absurd to me because by the time that happens I've also heard it's hard to get teenagers to go hop on the playground equipment.

Here are some pics of our park day today. (yes, it was not a play date. Even though I invited other mommies to go. No one could come on such late notice).

Exploring for cool sticks.

My favorite "equipment" for them to climb on.

Their faces seem a bit upset that we aren't eating with friends.

What are your thoughts on Play dates? And is it one word or two?

Why I quit blogging..

It's been 5 months since I last wrote on my personal blog. And while I tried to give a small hint as to the changes I've experienced, I had not given much explanation as to why those changes prompted my exodus from the blog world.

You see, I struggled with feelings of insecurity and rejection and the best way for me to feel immediate relief was for the World Wide Web to give me a stroke to my ego. Granted, I did not always realize this was going on, but alas, it was. The symptoms that presented were (but not limited to) inflammation of the truth, of my world. I wanted to get a pat on the back so I would write a post, show a picture or gush about how wonderful my life, kids, family was (this also applies to Facebook posts). These things in and of themselves are not negative. But when this was the only thing you ever saw, you may tend to think that I am either perfect, or living some kind of dream life where my kids obey 90% of the time and I rarely raise my voice.. I mean, why would I have to with the perfect kids and all?

What's lacking in the posts and pictures is the back story or the immediate after story. Let me give you some examples. There is the perfect caption and then the reality. But rarely is the reality ever shared.. because I just wanted you to focus on the positive. Heck, I did too. While I may not have captioned these pictures exactly like they are below, the truth of my point still stands: sometimes people present only a portion of their reality.

*Exhibit A.

Caption: "I am so proud to be home all day and school these adorable children who are so creative and do nothing but sit at this table with a sincere reverence for me." (okay, a little dramatic.. but you get my point).

Reality: While I didn't stage the shot, as soon as I hit send on sharing with facebook the older two started fighting about who had done a better job on their work. Eva walked over and drew on Isaac's paper and he started screaming. It wasn't quiet and serene any more.. and certainly not reverent.

Exhibit B:

Caption: "I love that my children enjoy being so close to each other. They are so happy together. They are watching a movie that they NEVER EVER EVER get to do because we don't like that big ugly box, unless it's absolutely necessary.. like I'm sick or they are sick or something EXTREMELY RARE like that."

Reality: This is probably the third day that they had watched t.v. and not because it's educational. Nope. They are zombies. They are sitting next to each other because the magic machine is playing happy images that will do nothing for their educational achievement. Oh and no one was sick. I was probably just trying to keep my head above water with laundry or house work.

Exhibit C:

Caption: "I am so excited that I just made this incredibly healthy meal for my entire family. Look at the effort it took.. but it's worth it to eat healthy. I mean please know how much I value eating healthy and know that my kids LOVE it."

Reality: I won't tell you how many times I eat fast food in a week. And I certainly wont talk about the extra weight I have because you might deduce that all my habits aren't as healthy as I'm letting on. Gracious, don't even get me started that Broccoli is the ONLY green thing my kids will eat and THAT is only because of the movie "Mars needs moms" that got them on the idea that it was "cool."

Exhibit D:

Caption: "I love being home so that I can keep my house clean. Like, all the time. I just love being able to have a clean house."

Reality: This was taken while our house was on the market. I only kept it this clean for the first few weeks. Then I realized that if someone wanted to buy the darn house they would have to buy it in it's current state and I certainly wouldn't break my back with four small kids trying to keep it spotless. I guess I should also mention we never sold it. But we are happy to still be in it.

I think you may be getting my point. For so long in my life, I was so hungry for affirmation and acceptance that I would shudder at the thought of telling you my parenting failures or my marriage mistakes but now I long for it. When I post a picture on facebook (or a status update) I have to ask myself: Is this presenting the reality? Or, am I only sharing the positive I see? Now I like to share pictures of what's really going on on any given day. Mostly to remind myself not to take myself so seriously. And honestly, to help those around me realize that it's okay to be honest. But it starts with yourself.

I don't know.. maybe, just maybe I will return to blogging. It may not be as often but I can assure you that it will be balanced. ;-)

My First 5k.

I said I'd never run.

I'm not a "runner." Well, unless someone is chasing me. (that was always my joke).

Then I saw this program called Couch to 5k. (C25k). And people I knew were having success with it. The premise is to take you from sitting on the couch to running 3.1 miles in 8 weeks. Honestly, I was terrible about sticking to the schedule. I do remember running one of the days, in the beginning, that I was supposed to run for three minutes straight and thinking, "what am I doing?" Ha!

So I kept trying. And because my first 5k was coming soon, I only had six weeks to train. But I stuck it out and did it, running my first 3 miles two days before the race day.

My sister, Mishka, was originally supposed to run it with me (she does half marathons so this was more of a show of support for me) but her back went out the week of the race. So sadly, she wasn't able to make it. But she was still a big support for me.

So I set out to race.. but I figured it would be better to have a before picture (instead of an after).

Up until today, my best time was 10:51 minutes per mile.

My goal was to finish the race (3.1mi) in under 35 minutes.

But I was able to beat my record and ended with 3.33mi in 31:58. That is an average of 9:48 a mile!!

I am so excited! And now I hope to run another 5k while I train for an 8k or a 10k.

(Special thanks to my biggest supporter my hubby, Jorge. He was always quick to encourage me not to give up and to do whatever needed to be done so that I was free to go run/train. I love you babe. THANK YOU).

My "Mental Health Day."

A while back I posted about mommy's needing to take breaks, and that you shouldn't feel guilty for doing so. It's for your mental (and emotional) health. Thus, a "Mental Health Day." Granted, not every time looks the same. I may only have an hour to work with.. or as in the case today, three.

So that meant I had time to include two of my favs:

Step One: A pedicure. My first time with a darker color, for fall.

Step Two: Lunch at Taziki's. Yummmmm!

What was funny about step two was what I did before it. I got done with the Pedicure about 30 minutes before Taziki's opens (11 a.m) so I had some time to kill. I decided to park my car in the parking lot and walk over to a neighboring store and peruse the "stuff" but then I caught a glimpse of my UNIBROW in the mirror (I swear it seemed like it had grown to this)..So I decided to pluck my eyebrows instead.

So there I was, in my van (ALONE.. ahhhhh) with the windows down (beautiful sunny, breezy day) with Jack Johnson playing and plucking my eyebrows. I was just sure that somewhere someone was going to have a Facebook status update: "there is a weird lady sitting in her car plucking her eyebrows..music blaring. Seriously?"

But to me.. it was heavenly.

After lunch, I went to pick up the kids and headed back for naptime. Which is Step three for a MHD.

I had a lot of fun and I look forward to the next Mental Health day!!

What do you do for MHD? Or what would you want to do?

already Five.

So my handsome blue eyed boy turned 5 last week.

He had a fun time at his Captain America party.

Im sure he wished for many more years with his awesome family.

before that familys' traditions made him rethink his wish..

I love you Alex. And all your goofyness. Thank you for being such an amazing son. That makes us laugh. A lot.

(wonder when the "dressing myself" skills will kick in). ;-P