Friday, June 24, 2011

Feedback on the world of blogging..

I thank you all that encouraged me after my post, that was an attempt at transparency. I am not surprised at those that are refreshed to hear honesty, especially in the world of blogging.

I wanted to share one comment from a friend, that really says what is in my head and heart.

"I appreciated your honesty Rachel! Not only is there a lesson to be learned in writing blogs, but there is also a skill to be had in reading them. Often, I have found myself comparing, feeling guilty, arguing in my mind, etc. I've had to fast blogs at times because of that! I need to remember that blogs are documented journeys. It was so great for me to hang out a bit with you and other "mommy bloggers" on our last trip, and be reminded that you all are very real women and your kids are real too! Not that you have built a facade here, but only so much can be seen online. Hopefully these blogs can be encouragements to all of us as we journey on this crazy road called motherhood."

Very well said Emily. Thank you.

I absolutely agree "that there is a skill to be had in reading" blogs. If you find yourself comparing or feeling guilty it may be time to take a moment of reflection and realize that one of two things could be happening.

1. The "problem" is the blog. The writer is comin' on strong with the hints of "this is how you should do things," "if you aren't doing this, you have a problem," etc. This was my trap as the writer. I would often times do it subtly but it was there. Heck, I even had a parenting tips tab. (it may still be there). Bottom line: if a blog shares opinions. That's great. But the writer is telling you that's how you should do things.. then you may want space yourself.

2. The "problem" is you. If the writer of the blog isn't doing the above and yet you still find yourself feeling guilty, you may have to do a personal inventory and ask yourself some hard questions. "Why do I feel guilty?" "Is this an area that I am currently struggling in?" I have personally gone to a blog and seen how the mom had a picture of her kids brushing their teeth at night and talked about how great her kids did at it. I felt guilty. Why? because I often forget to get my kids to brush their teeth at night. HA! That's not the fault of the blog writer. She is probably pretty excited that her kids can brush their own teeth with little assistance.. but me? I loathe the process because my kids do things like: spit the nasty toothpaste mix all around the sink.. but not in it, or they rub the toothpaste in their hair or have even spit on each other. So yeah.. when I see a pic of a happy bunch of kids doing a bang up job I think, "wow, i bet if I worked with my kids more on that they would actually learn how to do it too."

Anyway. Here's my point. Not all blogs tell you the in between of their daily posts of bliss. And not all blogs detailing bliss are trying to make you feel badly. But it is a skill to learn the difference. Keep in mind, as Emily said, that it's all a journey.

Some of us just choose which parts to document.

Have fun blog hopping. And keep your wits about you.


Rachel said...

Good points, Rachel and Emily. You've given me a lot to think about - and possibly blog about. Because I'm living my life day in, day out, I know that my blog doesn't reflect my entire life. I've never considered the fact that maybe my readers DO think that it's my entire life, and that I don't have "normal" bad days and failure days like the rest of Mommies. I DO. I just choose not to focus on them - for my sanity's sake, for one!

But the thought that I'm making other Mommies feel guilty or lesser than because I don't write about my failures scares me. That is certainly not my intention in the least...

Lots to think about.
Thank you ladies!

Sarah said...

Thanks for this, Rachel. I've not been blogging or reading blogs for several months now, and this post was refreshing to me. Reality is encouraging. It's helpful. I like it.

These are two good points, and I think there is a little of both in my reason to step away from blogging (as well as the fact that life has been busy and blogging--and keeping up with blogs--seems overwhelming at this point).

There are particular blogs I can't visit right now, but yours has never been one where I feel defeated in reading it, and I've been reading for a couple years. (Maybe it's because I don't know you IRL?) I was surprised at the things you mentioned in the post you linked to--you've never struck me as the person you described. But if you were, I'm glad that you're the new you now!
Anyway, keep being real. It's great.