Blessings and weird things..

Let me start with the random weird things first. Those with children will appreciate this.. or at the very least, please tell me that we are NOT some strange family.

-Yesterday while taking a shower I noticed that our white shower curtain had a small spot of what looked like, well, poop. It was about the size in diameter of a quarter. Yuck. Where did that come from? Better yet, which child and why? So today as I'm using the bathroom myself, I notice another area of my shower curtain has two small spots of poop. However, this time I knew that my oldest child, Jorge (almost 5 yrs old in June) had just gone to the bathroom and had gone #2. I called him in there and said "Jorge, what is this?" To which he sheepishly smiled and said, "Poo-poo." Ah ha! We have our culprit. I was not expecting what he said next. "Jorge, tell me. How did poop get on the shower curtain?" .. brace yourself.. "because I wiped my bottom." WHAAATT??

How does a child that is about to be 5 think it's okay to pull the shower curtain over and proceed to wipe his bottom with it? You can't make this stuff up.

-While we are talking about said child.. today at church I got pulled out of my Bible Study because Jorge hit another child in the face. Why? Over a seat. Granted, Jorge was very broken and repentant and knew that he had really done something bad.. so that was hopeful. And he also got his punishment when he got home. What's weird is that Jorge is normally my child that will use his words to try and get what he wants and be the first one to come tattle-tale when he doesn't get it. Please understand, I am not saying that my child is not capable of hitting a child, unprovoked, it's just odd that he just hauls off and hits a kid. Either way, we dealt with it and I am praying that he thinks hard about losing his self control again.

BLESSINGS:

-today at Bible study a sweet friend in my class gave me some cash. Why? To get a pedicure. I had asked, jokingly if I were allowed to pray for God to provide me with a pedicure since I could not reach my feet to do it myself. That sweet lady, not three minutes later, handed me some cash and told me to go get one. Isn't that sweet?? So today when my hubby gets home I am going to go get my feet rubbed on (Lord willing).. thank you Gaye. You are a blessing.

-A few days ago a sweet friend (who I met first through the blogosphere) and then met at a Chickfila and realized that I knew her from her blog and that we new the same people.. (long sentence) brought me a meal. And not just any meal but an incredibly delicious Cheddar chicken pot pie. I am not exaggerating when I say I probably polished off half of it in one sitting. It was amazing. thank you Missi for your sacrifice (she has four little ones herself) and for blessing our family.

-My mom told me today that she and dad had discussed it with my little sister Rachel (remember, the gymnast for the University of Alabama?) and they want to pay her to be my nanny this summer!! I can't even type that with out wanting to cry with such thankfulness. Granted, it won't be an everyday all day thing.. she will still have to go to Tuscaloosa to practice a couple of days a week.. but even if it were for two hours, I am eternally grateful. I talked to Rachel today and she said she was very excited and can't wait. don't worry, I warned her that at some point she is probably going to want to pull her hair out.. but that I'd take it easy on her. ;-)

Well, that's it for now. God is amazing and I am thankful for the weird things as well as the blessing in our family. Now, i need to go so that I can bleach a shower curtain.

All done crying.

You ever have those moments where all you really need is to just cry?  

That was today.  Sure, I am hormonal, but it was a true need to just acknowledge how I feel about all that is going on.   

Don't get me wrong.. no one is more thrilled to have another "bun" in the oven than me, but it each pregnancy is so different and this one is no exception.  This time I had to mentally adjust my brain to "you are doing it all over again." You see, I had resigned myself to the belief that I would NEVER be pregnant again (those thoughts are normal for someone whose husband has had a vasectomy).   And in our talks about our next child (via adoption) we always talked about adopting a toddler.  So not only was I past pregnancy, I was probably NOT going to be doing a newborn. 

{insert God laughing, here}

So now I am in the throws of nausea, fatigue and for the first time during a first trimester: insulin dependence.  I always had insulin in my pregnancies but NEVER this early.  With Eva I was about 11 weeks along.  So I was just about over being nauseous.  With insulin comes "working out the kinks." Which means I can "crash" if I get too much.  Think Julia Roberts, hair salon scene in "Steel Magnolias."  

It may not have me convulsing, but I get pretty shook up and it takes me about two hours to fully recovered. 

Add to that the normal nausea and absolute fatigue and you got yourself a strong cocktail of a day.  Lather, Rinse, Repeat for the next day. 

I do not want to complain.  Really, I don't.  This baby is a blessing.  this pregnancy too.  It is just a hard time, my first trimester, to juggle cooking, cleaning and child rearing.. oh and let's not forget.. just having fun with my kids. 

So at small group today.. i could hold it in no longer.. I was asking for prayer and then just started to cry.  Those sweet ladies stopped right then and prayed over/for me and reminded me how God is and that He would carry me through.  It was a sweet time and I am so thankful for them.  Not to mention that they all organized bringing me a meal..once a week.  

At least, my husband is guaranteed to have one home cooked meal a week.. I'll work on the other days.. one day at a time.  

and in case you wanted to see that clip of Julia Roberts in Steel Magnolias.. here ya go.. about the four minute mark is the start of her low blood sugar spell.. 

NO more band-aids, thank you very much

So my favorite phrase of the day:

(Pediatrician) "Oh yeah, I see it.  Its stuck right on the back of her throat."  

I cried. In relief..  Mommy was right. I knew something was not right. 

FOUR HOURS EARLIER: 

Eva had her vaccine shots today.  You know those little round band-aids that they put on their chubby little legs?  Well, my sweet 8 month old daughter decided to pull one off her leg and eat it, while in her car seat, while on our way to pick up the boys from my friend Christina's house. 

She was crying on the way and I chalked it up to, she's just hungry.  the last time she ate was 8:30 and it was now 11:30.  But when i made it my friends house and tried feeding Eva she kept gagging and then started the screaming.  The kind of screaming that leaves you batty.. You know something isn't right.  I pick her up.  And that's when I see it:  One of the band-aids is missing.  

Christina gets me a flashlight and we attempt to hold a screaming baby down long enough to try to see if we can see the band-aid.  I couldn't see a thing.  Long story short: call the pediatrician and he says if she swallowed it that we will just have to wait for it to pass.  Eva doesn't want to nurse.  Screams non-stop.  I decide to head home and wait for it to pass.  On the way home she starts gagging so badly she throws up.  That I found out as I swerved over on the side of the road and open the door in time to see my gagging child throw up what i had tried to feed her at my friends house.  No band-aid in the throw up.  

She falls asleep from pure exhaustion.  Got home.  Put the boys in the bed and let the sleeping baby sleep.  When she woke up it was nightmare all over again.  Screaming, gagging, crying, not wanting to nurse.  Call the doc and said I'm coming in.  He assures me that if its it there and he can see it, he can get it out.  Otherwise we have to go to the ER.   Although, he does say that "it could just be she is that upset from getting shots." To which I assure him that she is NOT that upset.  The girl hasn't eaten in 8 hours.  That's NOT normal for any upset child and she has cried, nay, screamed for a continual 40 minutes.  

Got to the doctor... and upon examination he says the best thing this mother could ever hear (today): "Oh yea it's there.  Right on the back of her throat."  

I almost wept.  Instead, I scooped her up and snuggled her tight and kept saying "oh baby, mommy knew.  Mommy knew it.  I knew it wasn't right.  We are gonna fix it.  mommy knew."  

10 minutes later it was out.  And baby girl nursed like she had never nursed before.. or like it had been 9 hours since she had last eaten.  No more band-aids, thank you very much.  

My little angel is back to her old self.  Content.  Eating.  Sleeping peacefully. Praise be to God for His gracious deeds!!! 

Bible Time Funnies...

Well more like "Prayer time funnies.."  

This morning we read about Jacob obeying God and going back to his homeland even though he was scared his brother would be mad at him.  Then Esau met his brother and gave him a big hug. (children's Bible).  

So after the story Jorge wanted to pray.  "Dear Jesus, thank your for we obey and thank you for our spanking and our discipline and for the duck that didn't bite Alex's finger at the Zoo.  And thank you for daddy to work and help people feel all better so that we can eat food."  

He covered  alot of ground, most of which we have prayed in different prayers.  For example, after he gets a spanking, we always pray and thank God for our discipline because He loves us.  

And when he says he doesn't want daddy to go to work I remind him that if daddy didn't go to work we wouldn't have money to eat. 

 Oh and he saved his brothers fingers at the Zoo the other day when Alex was not responding quick enough to my command to move said fingers because a large, nasty black duck looking thing was going to bite them off.  Jorge ran over and yanked his brother off the fence (much to Alex's disgust) and held him back until I could run that way and explain why he had to obey!  

Anyway.. cute prayers.. I love it! 

Talking Points: Prayer

POLL:  Do you have a consistent prayer time?  

YES: 30%   

NO:  70%

There may have been some confusion as to what I was asking for with this question.  Do you have a pattern in your life of taking time out for undistracted prayer/talking  to the Father.  I'm not talking about the many times we randomly talk to Him throughout the day as we are busily going throughout our hectic schedule.  Rather, times set aside and not necessarily at the same time everyday, of talking with Him.  

Please leave your thoughts about this poll and feel free to leave them anonymously.  

It's no secret..

You may or may not know that Jorge and I are praying through the timing of our next child, via adoption.  I have such a strong passion to adopt out of the foster care system (the huge mess that it is!) and don't necessarily feel like we HAVE to have an itty bitty new baby.  In fact, since the process can take up to a year or two, I would like to get a toddler close to the same age as Eva (or how old she will be) at the time of adoption.  Which,  if I had my choice for timing, would mean a girl between the age of 18-24 months.  

Of course, all of this is in the "talking about" stage.  I have made a few phone calls but haven't really taken the plunge of calling a social worker because my hubby needs a little more time.  I was telling a friend the other day that its much more "nerve wracking" to plan the birth of a child (or timeline for adoption) then if its all a surprise.  Well pregnancy can be a surprise, but not adoption.  And my hubby gets a little "nerve wracked" at the discussion of  time which is why, incidentally, none of our four pregnancies were planned!  But as I have told him over and over again.. our fourth child will not be that way.  We will have to start the process at some point.  ;-)

I honestly have no issues with $$ for adoption (if you adopt through the state there are only legal fees), or concerns over which of the thousands of children do we pursue.. No everything is just about timing.  So friends, whenever you think of us.. please pray for us and that the God of perfect peace will shovel some our way and we will know when is the time to pursue bringing in the next bundle God has for our family!  

Some days I am so ready to have them in our family and then other days I look at the ones we have and think.. it wouldn't hurt to give a little more time.. but even as I type that I feel like I am contradicting what my heart tells me:  another child is a blessing.. it doesn't matter how close in age they are.  Some of you may not understand what I'm getting at here and others will.  Anyways, I just want to rest in the peace that God is in control of our "family planning" and He knows when is best!  So you better believe the day that God confirms it in the heart of my husband.. you guys will be the first to know!! 

**its neat to think that our little baby could already be born right now, just waiting to meet us!  

Adios.. 

A little progress.

I had Bible study this morning.   Last week this same event prompted this post and full fledged "war" in my house.  Alex was having a rough morning (last week) and I ended up having a conversation with the director of the nursery that, for her benefit and that of my son, they don't have to worry with the "naughty chair" (yes, my son got sent to the naughty chair because he refused to share the trains with other kids, well and he was throwing them too I might add).  So I told the wonderful workers in the nursery that I would rather save them the trouble of having to "contain" him when he does this.. and just come get me out of the class and let me deal with it in the bathroom (if you get my drift..).   They said that would be fine.  And were very appreciative.  

So fast forward to today.  I drop the boys off in their rooms.   then I get down the hall in time to hear Alex screaming (mad) and decide to head back down to his room.  Long story short.  They were trying time out and of course he was giving the response you might expect.  Anger.  Read here: NOT BROKENNESS.  Which is why time out does NOT work in this instance with a two year old.  But for nursery workers with no other option.. I completely understand.  So when I got to the door they told me what the problem was and then she asked what I wanted to do, time out or bathroom.  I voted bathroom.  So then we went to bathroom had our event (explanation, spank, prayer) and then came back out in the room.  He walked over and then yelled when another child came near "his" trains.  So right back in the bathroom we went for round 2.   He was sad and still upset when I left.  

So... when I came back from Bible study (I did notice they never came and got me again) one of the teachers was gleaming when she said "Oh Alex did wonderful.  We never had another problem after you left."  I was so happy to hear that.  Then we joked that maybe I should just do that as soon as I drop him off.   But seriously.. Alex has had a rough few weeks.  But as I was telling the women at the church.. PRAY.  Please pray.  God is so good and if I will just stay focused and know that diligence will pay off we will get through this.. me and my sweet blue eyed two year old.  

God is so gracious.

We had family pictures last night and the DMV today.  And yes, I went by myself with the kids, to the DMV.  But God was/is so gracious.  I had packed snacks, a couple of books and sippy cups for the boys to keep them busy while we were to wait in line.  However, when I got there there was only one other person in line and by the time i made it up to the front he had been called.  Then I got the boys' apples out and then I heard, "next."  Woohoo!  I was saying out loud, "God is so good!  Here I thought this might take forever.  He does answer prayer!"  The women were laughing.  

That is one of the pluses of living in Shelby County rather than Jefferson County.  The JC DMV takes FOREVER and there is no way I would wait there with all three of my kiddos.  

Tags are done.  Now we just have to put them on the new car.  Well my husbands new car or ride I should say.  

Going to bed.  I hope you all have an awesome Thanksgiving tomorrow.  Pace yourselves!  

Adios

Haven't we done this before?

I am not sure if you read this post back in May, but it seems we were doomed to repeat history. 

My thursday morning was off to a great start with both boys playing happily in their rooms while I took a shower.  I always give Alex some toys in his crib, turn some music on for him, give him a sippy cup of milk and he's good for at least the 30-45 minutes it takes for me to take a shower and start breakfast.  Most of the time he only stays about 25 minutes in his crib and then I let him run around the house.  

Anyhoo. . I had big plans for the morning of running several errands and had even contacted a friend to let her know that I would probably show up somewhere around 10 a.m to pick up some things she had for me.   

Well, then I went into Alex's room to get him out.  He happily handed me his toys and I happily put them back in the toy box.  He handed me his sippy cup and I set it on the dresser.  Then I looked at my sweet angel and said, "Alex, you want up?  Okay honey, say 'up'."  To which he responded with "No."  But its a no that is raised in pitch as it reaches the "o" sound.  

Time: 7:45 a.m.  

I tell him, "okay, little guy, then you can stay in here.  I'll check on you in a little bit."  I go in and out every 10 minutes or so and I get the same response.  He refuses to say "up."  

Time 9:00 a.m.  Its been an hour and 15 mintues.  And this is his little self in the bed.

I'm sure you can't tell without the "mother of this child's" eye, but he is giving me a look that reaks of "I ain't budging lady."  And he didn't. I had to call my friend and tell her not to expect us anytime soon.  and I had to come to terms  with the fact that we may not be going ANYWHERE that morning.  At one point right before the THREE hour mark, I went in and said, "Alex, just say up."  And folks, I kid you not, he mouthed the word three times but would not say it.  I actually told him, "honey, mommy can't hear you say it loud for me." Then he said, "Uuuuu" the beginning sound of up, about two times before I said, "fine. see you in a little bit."  

Well at 10:50 a.m I noticed that it had gotten really quiet.  Now he never really cried during the time he was in there.  In fact I would hear him laughing and playfully kicking the walls.  But when it got quiet I went in to check and this is what I found: 

That little booger WENT TO SLEEP and slept for TWO HOURS.  Well as you can imagine, I was quite shocked. Everyone kept asking me if he said up when he woke up.  Let's just say I compromised.  When I went in there I said, "Alex, do you want to get up?" and he said "Yeah." So I took that.  Now let me say, it is not the standard that he is supposed to say "up" before I get him out of the bed.  I just simply thought that morning, "hey, lets test the obedience of my toddler."  Well, boy did I get a test.  

Heavy heart.

Recovery time for Jorge until the diabetes went away: 3 weeks. 

Recovery time for Alex until the diabetes went away: 6 weeks.  

"Rachel, after one of these pregnancies your going to end up keeping this illness.  And there is a high chance it will be insulin dependent too.  Not to mention what it is doing to your body, that we don't know about yet, while pregnant." -quote from my endocrinologist. 

Then there is research like this that shows that:

"The 8-year postpartum diabetes risk was 52.7% (130 diabetic cases of 302)" and sadly, " Risk was increased in women with autoantibodies to GAD and/or insulinoma antigen-2 (adjusted hazard ratio 4.1; P < style="font-weight:bold;">women who required insulin during pregnancy (4.7; P <>30 kg/m2 (1.5; P = 0.04), and women with more than two prior pregnancies (2.5; P = 0.02). Women without these risk factors had a postpartum diabetes risk of 14% by 8 years, and risk rose incrementally to 96% by 8 years in autoantibody-positive women."

So that pretty much sums up..me!  The risk is great.  So whats the big deal about having diabetes with insulin dependence for the rest of your adult life?  Well, there are lot's of risks to having diabetes : such as blindness, heart disease, nerve disease and kidney disease.  

My point in all this is to say that I want to be here for my children.  I want to be healthy and alive for as long as possible.  And with each pregnancy I take the risk of increasing my chances of keeping diabetes.  Not only that, but I can not take the risk of keeping the diabetes and then getting pregnant again.  There are more risks associated with that decision than would be worth the risk to my body.  

All this has led Jorge and I to decide that Eva will be our last "natural" child.  Through lots of prayer we have decided that I am going to get a tubal ligation.  Well, actually Jorge feels that he would rather get "tied" because he isn't so sure about the hormonal risks associated with a tubal.  Im convinced that I would rather be the one to get the surgery.  Anyway, this is a painful decision for me to make.  But not one that I feel guilty about.  I know what it's like to grow up without a mom because of medical issues that took her to early (she too was told not to have anymore children..then got preggers with me.  11 years later she died).  And I do not want to even travel remotely close to that road.  I know the Lord is in control of the number of days I have.  I just want to make the best decision for ME and for the circumstances.  

Who knows why I am sharing this on the world wide web.  I guess because I just wanted to vent.  Its a sad thought.  No more birth.  But I can't wait, should the Lord allow, for us to bless another little baby into our family that would otherwise not have one (through adoption).  Just because I may not birth them doesn't mean I can't still get our soccer team!  lol. 

So I would ask for you to pray specifically that God would see fit to keep me from postpartum diabetes.  That my numbers would return to normal quicker than they had with the boys.  God's will be done for sure, but if possible that that cup would pass from me.  

 

When does it end?

I am very thankful that Eva is safe in my womb and far away from this never ending virus that has settled in our home. 

Today started our third week.  The week was welcomed with Jorge (who I thought was over it and had had regular stools yesterday) throwing up at 4 a.m.  Alex was crying off and on thru the night but when i would check on him there was no throw up.  Although this morning when I went to get him out of his bed he had a hideous diarrhea diaper.  I praise the Lord that it didn't tear his bottom up since I have no clue how long he had it.

This thing started on the 14th!  A monday.  I've come to dread mondays.  That week Jorge had fifth's disease.  Then we all got some sort of symptom from it.  The next week Jorge, I believe, picked up a different virus that had him having diarrhea six times in an hour and throwing up once.  And just when I thought that one was done (yesterday) Monday reminds me to think again.  

I don't mind taking care of sick children.  I just feel so bad for them.  Especially Jorge.  He looks so skinny and puny.  He acts fine, but I guess in my head i know he hasn't eaten much.  And then there is the "no going anywhere" part of the equation.  But there are times where i just get in the car and drive somewhere just to get the kids out of the house.  

anyway, please pray that this virus leaves our family.  And if you see us out anywhere.. just run in the other direction.  that is unless i give the all clear.  ;-)

adios. 

Big Praise the LORD!

I hadn't mentioned anything yet but it's official now.  Big Jorge finished and passed his training for the RNFA (Registered Nurse First Assistant) program.  This is a higher position in the OR and includes a sizeable jump in income for us.  It has taken a year and he still has more homework and so many hours that he has to build up in the next year to finalize the licensing.  Its confusing, even for me.  But the bottom line is that he gets paid for the title w/ responsibility, NOW.  We are blown away by the provision of the Lord and the reward for Jorge's sacrifice over the last year to get this done.  

On a different note we get the boys bunk beds tomorrow.  Although we are going to keep Alex in a crib for as long as we can, Jorge is going to use a big boy bed.  I am so excited.  In fact, in preparation for all the stuff we are doing to the boys' room I decided to take them to our church MDO drop-in today so that I could shop.  Can I just tell you that I actually went to about 6 stores in a three hour period.  I mean, got to go in, go out, look for what I needed and run back to the van, jump in and hop to the next store in search for what it was I couldn't fine.  No loading and unloading the stroller, or the boys.  Not to mention the ease of just shopping.  I could get used to that.. lol. 

Success or not in the stores I visited, I got a lot done in that short amount of time.

-Dropped the boys off at 8:45

-Hit Michael's for the big letters to go on the wall (ALEX, JORGE) and the acrylic paint to paint them

-JcPenny- looking for two twin solid blue comforters for the beds.  NO LUCK. 

-Sears- still no luck

-Linen's and Things- No luck.

-Trusty Wal-mart.  Found them.  Plus a matching blue valance for the window.  

-Home Depot- bought paint for the room.  Stonington Beige.  Basic Neutral color to match whatever sheets we decide to use throughout our time in this house. 

-Subway- sandwich to go that Eva was craving. ;-P

-Little Ceasars- for the boys. 

-11:40- picked up the boys from the church and headed home for naps. 

I am so excited to get their room set up.  Granted, Alex is not going to be sleeping in there for another two weeks.  I need all the time I can get, or sleep I can get, before I make that big jump.  Then it will be on to Eva's room for set up.  Although we aren't painting anything.  I'll be sure to take before and after pictures of both rooms.  ;-P

Fun times.. nesting is so much fun... only when I get to cross it off the list! 

Poop and Prayer.

My three year old has no paci. Today at nap time I, once again, found him playing with his poop. This time he was putting the poop on his little yellow toy bus. He got his spanking and then I sent him back to bed without his paci. he only asked for it once and then fell asleep. I explained, when he woke up, that when he poops on the potty he will get his paci (for bedtimes) back. My sister, Mishka, had a great idea too. If he continues to put poop on things (even without his paci) then I start taking those toys away. But guys here is what I need:

For you to pray! This may seem like a humorous event, although I assure it is not. This is a sure sign of the passive aggressive sin of my toddler. For whatever reason he has decided to dig his feet in and fight. And we can not let him win. It would be one thing if it was just the issue of him not pooping on the potty. But when he continues to play with it, regardless of consequence, its a much bigger issue. I need to know if you would commit this to prayer. Pray that his heart will be repentant and that he would obey.

On another note I went to Bible study this morning. It's our summer drop in series. But today was about trusting God with your finances. An issue that we have had lots of fun learning this past year in a deeper way than we have had in our five years of marriage. Anyhoo.. one of the practical applications at the end was to remember those times, and tell others, when God has provided for you in a way you didn't expect. Well, recently I was just thinking about how cool it is that even though I have not one stitch of girls clothing for Eva's arrival (having had two boys) God has provided so much already that her closet is already full. My sister, Mishka, gave me a ton of dresses (0-6 months) and she has more to follow, although it will get harder because they are off season. She also gave me a box full of tights and even a box full of girl shoes. But then my neighbor down the street has a little girl that is the same season as Eva (even a September baby) and brought us a box full of everyday clothes that are soooo cute. Eva's bedding was paid for by a gift certificate that I had for two years to Pottery Barn and could never find anything that I could stomach spending all that money on. But boy I had no problem using that gift card on some pink bedding! And even have some left over to spare. (thanks mom and dad terry). On top of that my friend Christina wants to host a baby shower for me at her house and if we can knock diapers out of the way I will literally have no need of anything!!
Isn't God good? Yes!

Oh yeah, I was also running out of maternity clothes (everything was getting to small b/c Eva is in a ball right in the front of my belly) and my sister dropped off two boxes of clothes she forgot lent to someone else and that person brought them back. The cool thing is that I hadn't told my sister I was in need of some more clothes (because I already had one box of her stuff already). My point is I am always amazed at how much God deals in the details.

Therefore I know he can answer our prayers as we pray for Jorgito and his poop issues. Now that is some serious detail!

Perspective..

Well I was all ready to vent on this post about the frustration that I am having with Jorgito and his reverting back to pooping in his pull-up, no matter how many times he gets disciplined for it. He did it twice this morning in the span of an hour. Yet he will not go on the potty as he once had. I started this process March 24th. He turns 3 on June 10th.

Anyway, my attitude toward my child was less than compassionate. That is until I hopped over to Marsha's blog where she had a link to a blog for Steven Curtis Chapman. If you don't know, his 5 year old daughter Maria was killed wednesday when the family SUV struck her in their driveway. There is a video posted on that blog that just reminded me that life is more than frustration at these little issues.

My husband came home from work two days ago telling me that one of his coworkers went to the doctor that day (Wednesday) to get checked out because he didn't feel well recently. Turns out he has cancer. Yesterday Jorge told me that the guy found out (on Thursday) that it is Stage 4, started in his colon, spread to his liver and is now in his lungs. If he is "lucky", he will have weeks.

Big Jorge just kept saying, "all day, when I would start to think I was having a bad day i would remember him. He doesn't know how long he has to live." Now that's perspective.

I am thankful that the Lord helps me remember these people who are suffering through these horrible losses. I truly want my heart to be changed to add more compassion to my daily battles and see them as joys. Knowing that I do not know what today holds.

However, if you do have any wisdom as it relates to my potty training issue, please feel free to fill me in. Although, I think it would be more helpful if you have a son who went through the same thing. I just think girls and boys are too different in this area. Girls seem to catch on a lot quicker. Im sure its a struggle to potty train them too, but I think I need a mom who has been there done that.. with boys.

Thanks all..
and please pray for the Chapman family and for Jorge's coworker.

Happy Mothers Day!

I hope all you mothers have a wonderful day today. Remember those mothers who have lost one of their little ones, or that can't have any little ones.

I wanted to let you guys know something that happened to me this past week. As you may remember, our oldest son "sat" on our laptop and broke our LCD screen. A repair that would cost $600 for Apple to repair. Since we don't have that kind of money just hangin' around, we opted for Plan B: buy an LCD screen off of ebay and then have someone we know take a whack at trying to replace it. Cost: around $250. I had just received the ebay screen when I decided to take our laptop in to get some other hardware problems fixed while we still had our warranty. (the warranty would be completely null after replacing the screen without a certified apple technician doing it).

When I got to the store I was told by Bobby that they would not be able to fix the other hardware issues i had because of the LCD screen. It has to be fixed first. Well you see my dilemma don't you? I just put my head down on the counter and kinda moaned. Then Bobby said, "thats why Im going to just fix that screen for you then your other problems, no charge to you." What?? I know he thought I was probably some strange woman because I put my hand on his arm and said, "now Bobby, what did you just say?" His reasoning.. "everyone needs a break." And this was a decision he could make all on his own, no manager necessary!

So in a week I will have a "brand new" computer.

Happy Mothers Day!

Well blog friends.. Im still alive. I can't get on the computer/t.v until the boys are in bed so that prevents my blogging style of writing more often. Tonight I went to a women's ministry event (Briarwood) Bowling night and i came in third place. There were about 25 women there, so I was pumped.

We are headed to the beach tomorrow. Going to Dauphin Island courtesy of my good friends Paul and Christina. Her parents have a house down there and P & C invited us to come along with them this weekend. I'll take up an offer for free housing at the beach anyday! I did just check the weather and at best it's a high of 70 on saturday and 62 on sunday (with rain likely). Oh well. The possibility of at least one good beach afternoon on saturday is enough for me!

I handed out 20 invitations to the women on my street for the Bible Study at my house starting next Monday (the 14th). Can i just tell you how awesome the response was from the women. I really think we will have a good first time turnout. I went door to door as opposed to just putting them in mailboxes and got to meet 20 of my "neighbors." The first nIght I went out I only got to six houses because three of the women really wanted to talk! PTL! Anyway, please pray for these women. Pray that God prepares their hearts and that some WILL come to know the Lord if they do not already!

Well its late..im not packing yet.. of course I save that for about three hours before I leave! lol. Im such a procrastinator. YUK!

239!

No people that number does not represent how many days I have left in this pregnancy.  It was my "score" on my blood glucose test today.  YIKES!  You know the one that I was not going to take.  Granted, my bs numbers would not normally be that high since I don't have that much sugar in one sitting, ever!  But it is obvious that I DO have gestational diabetes again (third time, baby).  Right now I will do the usual "diabetic diet"  until eventually  my pancrease goes on complete vacation and then insulin it is.  This happened around 14 weeks with Miguel.  We'll see.  

How do I feel about all this?  I need my "day" of sad frustration that God answered in a way that I did not want and by tomorrow I will be once again rallying "to God be the Glory!"  I know God has the Glory now.. but by tomorrow I will be "feelin' it."  The reality of this time around is harder just because my endocronologist told me that he (before this pregnancy) feels very strongly that after one of these pregnancies I am going to keep the diabetes.  Maybe not the insulin dependence but definately type 2.  I have my perspective: i understand this is not inoperable lung cancer we are dealing with.  However, its is daunting to think that 1) I could deal with this day in, day out for the rest of my life and even have trouble with side effects and complications later and 2) that, since this is auto immune (my mother had and died from Lupus) that I could pass that gene on to one of my own children.  Even though Lupus and Diabetes are both "livable" diseases (That was not the case 20-30 years ago when my mother had it), the risks involved over long periods of time can be saddening.  

Anyway... God is in control.  He has His purposes.  I only pray that I will honor Him with my attitude and thoughts about all of this.  Besides He has given me two beautiful and healthy babies even with all that insulin.  We will pray for the same this time too! 

Its been too long...10 years!

Okay everyone.. if I get through this without crying.. consider it a miracle. This is my daddy pictured above. James Michael Cook. I have more pictures of him in the house but our scanner is on the outs. And to be quite honest.. 10 years isn't long enough for me to feel that I can bare to bring his pictures out from the box they've been in, under my bed, for all those years. That may sound a bit much.. but I am just now starting to be able to look at them and be happy. I know I don't have time to do justice to a tribute to him... nor the blogspace. But this post is already more about helping me than what you may want to endure reading. (by that I mean the time).

Daddy was not my biological father. That man was an abusive, angry man that my mom married after her first marriage (to my sisters' Heather and Mishka's dad, Stephen C.--great man btw). My mom had a short marriage to Robert Stetcher (my biological father) and they divorced when I was a baby. Then she met Mike (daddy). They married when I was four and daddy adopted me when I was five. The only reason he didn't adopt my other two sisters is because they knew their dad and had a great relationship with him, even though they lived with "us." When my mom died, my parents had only been married 7 years. that is a short time, but they were meant to be...so much so that my dad never remarried...on purpose. When mom died he was heartbroken. He struggled with raising three girls on his own, with very little pay and then turned to alcohol for release. He struggled with this most of my high school days and finally got a grip by the time I went to college. When I came to Christ in High School I always wanted to see my daddy make that same commitment.. although through high school I was anything but an example for Christ. Once I got to college and was discipled and growing in my knowledge of the Word, he could see the change. In fact, I would send him a letter a week sharing Christ with him and was always telling him how much Christ loved Him. In fact, one day in January 1998 I sent him a card with the most gut wrenching plea for Him to understand his need for a Savior, a God who loved him enough to save Him, make him His own and change not only his life but his eternal destiny. I can not explain how hard it was to write this particular letter. OF all the ones I had written, this was the most emotional.

January 25th- Super Bowl Sunday.. I was supposed to go see my dad at his friends house. he was in town (from Jasper) and was going to watch the super bowl with his buddy, Jack and his girlfriend Debby. I had talked to my dad on the phone and told him how excited I was to see him later that night since it had been about a week since I had seen him last. Later that night, I was with a friend and when they came to pick me up at the dorm I told them that we could just "stop by" their house for a little bit and make our way over to my dad's a little while later. Well being a college student and completely self absorbed.. I never made it to see my dad. In fact, as soon as my friend dropped me back off at the dorm.. I knew that I should call my dad, but the Holy Spirit prevented me from calling. Now that may sound weird to you.. but I was weeping. I made my way into the dorm hall and fell on the seat right inside and started weeping. I could not fathom why in the world I did NOT WANT to call my daddy. I went inside to my room, prayed and then went to bed.

January 26th 1998. The next morning I got up like any other school day. I went to eat breakfast.. but was stopped by an advisor. She asked for me to come to her office and talk about my academic "status." I was not doing well in one of the classes and she wanted to be sure that I could bring my grade up. I reassured her and asked if we could end the meeting. My mind was not with it. I went to the chapel. I sat down and immediately started to cry. Thinking it was stress about grades, but feeling it was much more. Then my precious friend Leslie (now P.) came in the chapel, sat down beside me and just started to pray. We ended and then we went to the cafeteria to eat. As I was putting my tray away.. my roommate (and R.A) Sarah Lastrapes came and asked to talk with me. Thinking it was something about not making my bed (as I had a habit of not doing) I said, "Sarah, this is really not a great time.. can we talk about this later." She pulled me close and said, "Rachel, your dad has been in an accident..we need to get to the hospital." Guys.. I knew. I fell to ground. I couldn't get up. I knew, I knew, I knew. Everything was not okay. To make a long story somewhat brief...my daddy had been hit head on by a driver that had illegal Valium in his system and fell asleep at the wheel. My dad had weak vitals and was helicoptered to Carraway (it was the only Level 1 Trauma ER in Bham at the time). He died about three minutes after I walked into the hospital.

Now you may think it incredibly sad that I "dissed" my daddy the night before and I that I must live with guilt that I did not call him. But I want to tell you right now, that even 10 years later (which feels like 10 months at times) I praise my gracious heavenly father for the gift that He gave me in that "decision" that "I" made that night. I honestly believe that had I seen my daddy that night, sat on his lap as I always did and hugged his neck as I longed to do.. I would not have been able to get through the incredible trial I had ahead of me. You see, I loved that man more than life. So much so that I miss him so much that it is hard for me to even look at his pictures to this day. On an incredible God note.. that only He knows the answer, but gives me hope is that on the morning my dad was killed, he was watching, get this, Billy Graham on t.v. Debby had it on that morning and my dad listened to the whole message and then when Billy Graham gave the "invitation" Debby said my daddy's eyes were closed. Sure it is not beyond reason that he fell asleep during that time, but I don't believe that. I believe that he was doing business with the Lord. Because as soon as Billy Graham said amen, my dad got uncomfortable and said he was "gonna go ahead and head out." She wondered why he was in such a hurry to leave. Five minutes later he was in eternity.

When I went to his house two days after he died, sitting right there next to his beloved recliner, on the table was my card. The one that I had pored out my heart into. The one that was the hardest for me to write. There it was, the only thing on that table besides the remote. So I cling to the hope that I will see my daddy again. I trust that God led him to Himself.. and my daddy is rejoicing with the angels in heaven even as I type.

So.. here are some great things I leave you with about my daddy:
-He was an excellent man. He certainly had his faults.. but he knew commitment and how to follow through on your word.
-He was a "quite" guy but he had a wit that was hilarious.
-He would only sing one line from a country song. he would get it stuck in his head and that's the only thing he would sing..over and over again.. talk about nails on a chalkboard.
-He would pass gas and blame it on the dog.
-he loved taco bell.
-he loved to get "a rise" out of me. his day was not complete if he had not picked on me relentlessly. if friends were over, they were no exception.
-every time he saw me he asked how I was doing on money (in college) and would offer me a 20. Of course I would spend it on needless fast food or gas.
-He would, I believe, love my husband. To be honest he probably would have had a hard time with him being Hispanic but he would have gotten over it and treasured him for the jewel that he is. They are so much alike it is scary. even the country song thing and especially the pickin' on me thing. They both love to work with their hands and they both have the same temperaments.
-okay this is gonna make me cry.. He would love my boys. He "had" three girls. I was his "baby." I have two boys. I know he would love Mishka's boys too! And girl. hehe. I just imagine that he would have the best time playing with them and just hanging around the house. He would play that "false teeth" joke on them just as he had done to several kids before. I like to think that he would spoil them rotten and then send them back to me for me to deal with. I know he would love them.

Ten years. Wow. It truly seems like only a couple of years. The grief is not that raw.. but the missing him is. He was only 49. But I know God has his purposes and although they don't make sense all the time, He is glorified.

Daddy, thank you for all those years of being able to sit on your lap, even at 19, and just talk. Thank you for always making me laugh. You are so special to me and I look forward to seeing you soon. I love you.

Pray for the Burgess Family

Sadly, Rick Burgess (from the Rick and Bubba Show) lost his youngest son in a tragic accident last night, Saturday the 19th. Their two year old son, Bronner, apparently fell into the swimming pool and drowned. Bronner's nickname on the show was "cornbread." You can visit the rick and bubba website by clicking here.

Guys, I feel like I know this child since I listen to this show all the time. I may not catch it in the morning but if Im in the car in the afternoon I always have the "replay" on. I guess I should say that I feel that I know Rick and Bubba. I have gotten on the show several times calling in. But I can not begin to fathom this loss. I guess why it hit me so hard this morning is for a couple of reasons..

I have a two year old. I can not imagine life without him. I can not imagine loosing him in such a tragic way.

Rick is in the spotlight. In fact, his career, how he makes his money is on making people laugh. I can not imagine the amount of time it will take for him to be back in a place of laughter.

I know they are local "celebrities" but this family is just like every other family you know. Please pray for them. Pray for Sherri, the mom of little Bronner. She has four other children. Oh how she needs strength right now. I can only imagine the prayer it will take for her to get out of the bed over the next few weeks, maybe months. I don't know the circumstances around their contract but will you pray with me that the people over their radio show would be "satisfied" with "best of" shows as long as it takes. That they would truly look out for the interests of this family in its need for healing and time.

Thanks guys.. I know you will pray.

REASON FOR ALL THAT PRAYER!!

Okay people.. number 3 (well technically number 4) is on the way.. I am six weeks and one day! And even though I am sick as a dog I only have one bun in the oven..although maybe it's a girl. My due date is September 10th! 19 days before my youngest will turn 2!

thanks to everyone for praying! It has killed me to wait until now to announce.. but we just wanted to see the heartbeat first, which we did today! Yeah.. PTL.